Monday, 7 July 2008

She's no Tory Bear but...

A flurry of activity tonight as TB gets tipped off by no fewer than six CF keenbeans in the space of ten minutes that CF Top Totty Alexandra Swann has launched her very own blog at
www.alexandraswann.co.uk






TB is rather glad Miss Swann has taken his advice and started a blog about Surrey - hopefully now she will write it down and stop boring people to tears with her tales from the Patio of England.

TB is yet to get over Miss Swann's audacity at even threatening to reveal who she thinks is his alter ego, but to be fair her first two posts have made an entertaining read.

Favourite quotes thus far - "Whoever you are, TB, i salute you. And think you’re rather sexy." and;

"it’s awful; living for nearly 2 weeks where everyone else is male means I’ve put on around a stone and further wrecked my liver"

Come on now Alexandra from what Tory Bear hears it was you who was leading the eating in Henley. What was it that waiter said? Something about pies?

On a slightly more serious note her post about
Henley
, and more specifically the internal workings of CF should be read by all members and taken on board.

After the little coup d'etat in Surrey Miss Swann has burst onto the CF scene with quite some force in recent months and seems to be climbing trees the ladder at a rapid rate.

Best of luck to her...

Pop Quiz #2

Brentford & Isleworth
Ealing Central and Acton

Kingston
and Surbiton
Berwick Upon
Tweed
Stourbridge

Brighton
Pavilion
Dagenham & Rainham
Lewes

Guildford

Hammersmith
Loughborough
Reading West

Tynemouth

Bolton
North East
Bolton
West
Leeds
North East

Q. What do all these seats have in common?

Standard TB rules apply.. CF bottle opener for the first correct answer.

Murder on the dancefloor...

Grumpy today aren't you!?

For the record I have no personal vendetta against either Patrick Sullivan or Anastasia Beaumont-Bott. So please stop emailing TB asking what my problem is.

And as for those of you who got in touch to suggest that there was some sort of rift between those said members of the NME, well hate to break it to you but TB has from good sources that this is bullshit.

Further evidence of these two getting on was emailed to me last week, think now would be an appropriate time to put it up:



If that doesn't cheer you up I don't know what will... hot moves.

Survey results - Social Action

Seems that Social Action splits the readers, but those thinking we should stick to our constitutional commitments to provide the party with election support slightly have it:
The feedback left wasn't a glowing endorsement of the project. This quote hits the nail on the head, many people left such sentiments on the survey, but this one sums it up very well;

"my dad was a yc in the 60s and they essentially ran a local children's home, most of the members adopted or fostered people as a result my university branch ran a coffee morning for old folk in the area all these things happened because we wanted to do it, not because it would provide a photo opportunity for some chinless candidate now, none of these things happen but at least some of the people who are now at my uni go picking up litter in a bit of wasteland for 10 mins with stupid t-shirts on while being photographed tell me - which was more worthy?"

As for TB's view, well I've already been accused of being on a solo-mission against ABB today (I'm not for the record, people have said the same of Patrick, also not true - he at least can take a joke,) so I will look back to before she got involved in order to sum up my views of Social Action. At Blackpool last year the CF contingent were all organised to go down to help on the garden project on the afternoon before the CF drinks. The numbers of people who said they would come weren't looking to healthy so a decision was taken that anyone who helped out with SA would be given champagne at the evening reception.. the mini bus soon filled up. This just about sums up the shallow nature that SA can have it's not done properly.
It's good to see that this years Birmingham project is starting now and hopefully it will consist of more than
William Hague playing with goats.


Jury is out on this one.

Of course Social Action is doing good things but are hearts really in it?

ABB's tips for success...

Good relationships with agents eh?


; )

Some thoughts...

"I’m weary of politicians tokenising trans people merely to gain credibility. If they’re not prepared to engage with us and listen to what we say - and incorporate that in meaningful policies which we can be sure will be implemented, then would they kindly leave us alone. We’re quite capable of surviving without their cynical use of us for publicity with no practical support beyond the headline-grabbing stuff. We are not here to provide material for T-shirt slogans."

This is the only comment on so far on the new
www.lgbtory.org.uk
website...





It got TB thinking about this sensitive project that could very easily back-fire. Some questions:

Apart from the photo-ops what exactly are LGBTory planning on doing?

Also what accountabilty measures are in place?

Why no committee?

Friday, 4 July 2008

The NME ratings...

Thank you firstly to the 82 respondents to Tory Bear's first survey of how the CF National Management Committee have done in the first three months since their election. The results are a pretty accurate gauge of the CF electorate given that 768 people voted in the election, 9.3% of the those voters took part in this poll.

Respondents were asked to rate each NME member as either "good", "alright", "you're fired" or if they did not know who they are, or had not heard much from them, then "who?".

Starting in reverse order the Exec are ranked by their overall approval rating (the sum of their "good" and "alright" scores.)

Without further delay.. bringing up the rear... Cllr Steve Ricketts:

A pretty shoddy performance so far it seems from our man in Plymouth. Seems nobody has heard of him and even those that have don't seem too impressed. TB understands that Steve has expressed his concern to his NME colleagues that he feels some what out of the loop as Plymouth is a long way from the London centric organisation but despite this fact there is a hell of a lot of room for improvement here. Approval Rating: 25.4%

Next up it's Owen
"Delivering For Everyone - Aspiration For All"
Meredith:

Despite the endless press -releases in the latest news section of his ever hilarious
website,
Owen is failing to connect with the membership. A hefty 29.3% would also like to see him fired. Would put that rumoured Chairman bid on ice my friend and concentrate on proving your up to scratch here. Approval Rating: 33.4%

With another large "who?" lingering over her, next we have Adele Douglas:

Adele has done wonders in Manchester but needs to work harder to improve her national profile it seems. Of those who do know her it's a pretty solid "alright" in this poll but TB reckons they could easily be converted to "good" with a little more action. The appeal of a candidate of CF age (
Stuart Penketh
,) standing in what is now a winnable seat, a campaign Adele is running the CF side of, should have CFers flocking to help out. Up the game a little and you'll go far. Approval Rating: 43%

Chair of the CF poetry committee & Deputy Chairman Christian May is lingering mid-table:

Pretty average results for the Forward Together survivor. The Exec were clearly quite clever in over-promoting Christian to a position where he can't cause too much trouble. Having been one of only two of the FT slate elected, Mr May could have cut a divisive figure on the NME but good on him for clearly buckling down and getting on with the job. Approval rating 46.9%

Next up it's Anastasia Beaumont-Bott:

These are by far the most interesting figures. Splitting almost exactly down the 25% lines - love her or hate her ABB is defiantly Miss Marmite of this survey! High profile projects such as LGBTory and Social Action have raised her profile no end in the last few months but still more people would like to see the back of her (26%) than think she is doing a good job (24.7%.) The rumours of what would be, given her age, an extraordinary bid for Chairman next year just won't go away. If it is a case of no-smoke-without-fire than TB's advice would be to sort out that 26% who aren't ABB fans, because if these figures were translated into votes- it will be FT town for you... Approval Rating: 48.1%


If the Rock was DC then Richard Jackson would be Steve Hilton, or maybe Andy Coulson:

The first of this NME's co-options has proved to be a hit. The
CF Exec blog
is a great new inititive, as were the Twitter and Flickr updates from Henley. The strategic brains behind the Rock4CF phenomenon, and part time CCHQ Press Officer, Richard is clearly getting his teeth stuck into his new role as communications guru for the NME. Although 31.6% of respondents don't know who he is, that can hardly be held against him given the fact that he didn't have all the publicity of the election. The man behind the scenes image is one the suits him well and his excellent Approval Rating of 62.1% is thoroughly deserved.

After the storming successes of Crewe and Henley the National Campaigns Coordinator Patrick Sullivan is your most highly rated member of the NME:

So the joke goes that the Tories didn't win by-elections and then they put Patrick in charge, well TB wouldn't go that far but you have to hand it to Mr Sullivan - he is doing an excellent job so far. Having tested out methods and found a solid formula during the Ealing by-election last summer, CF national campaigns have gone from strength to strength, especially for Boris and in Crewe. While de-camping around the country to fight on the front, Patrick has also juggled the pressure of relaunching the StudentLife committee, of which he is the co-chair. He has clearly got his name recognition sorted and it seems work hard,play hard is a winning formula! Approval Rating: 68.4%
Well done to Richard and Patrick for their approval ratings about 50%. Plenty of room for improvement amoungst the other members though - was hardly a glowing report. TB won't be doing these monthly but they will be held every so often. The final result for Chairman Michael Rock is 72.4% of respondants think he is doing a good job (giving him a score above 5/10) - solid.

Still to come from the survey are some re-election figures for the NME and a look at possible candidates for next time round, as well as the verdicts on Michael Lunn and Social Action.

TB is getting lashed this weekend so don't expect too much.

You can wear it if you really want...

Thank you to yet another co-conspiritor who undertook the public service of leaking Tory Bear this truly awful t-shirt planned for Fresher's Week. On the front it has You can get it HERE (if you really want) and the back says Join the Party! with the logo.

Cringe is an understatement.






Simple question.. would you be seen dead in this?

I didn't think so.

+++LGBTory will joining Boris at Pride+++

Interesting Facebook message from ABB. Seems LGBTory is actually doing something and will be joining Boris at the front of the London Gay Pride parade tomorrow... Even the most cynical of members must realise that this is a pretty significant moment.

Not for LGBTory but for the Party as a whole.


Update
: TB has been in contact with Anastasia who is rather excited at the plethora of banners, balloons and tshirts CCHQ seems to have forked out for.. She said:

"I am over the moon and incredibly proud of everyone involved with LGBTory and everyone at CCHQ who helped make this happen. I can't stop smiling."

Let's hope it doesn't rain tomorrow.

A message to the voters of Glasgow East....

Thursday, 3 July 2008

Cheers Zac...

And so to Richmond for Zac Goldsmith's summer party. Despite being billed as one of the top CF events of the summer sadly Zac neither sunk a Pitcher nor played the Piano as the venue promised.




Tory Bear can't help but laugh at despite the fact the PPC for Richmond is worth some £300m he still smokes rollies! Achingly trendy!

Seems Mr Goldsmith was quite the hit with the ladies this evening too... Another CF bottle opener up for grabs for the best caption to the photo above posted in the comments section...

Congratulations are also in order to CFs in house impersonator Mr Max Litwenik - recently renamed "Max Lit" (- any relation to Tony?) Max's Facebook status yesterday said he was "attending the richmond drinks tomorrow mainly for the free liquor"
It seems he made the most of it too:

Good lad.

Thumbs up for the Rock and a look to the Future...

Ok time for the first preliminary survey result... Will be saving the NME index until the poll closes but lets have a sneaky peak at some of the Chairman stats.

To the left are the answers to "Please rate Michael Rock's performance as Chairman so far"

Given that 50.7% of the respondents so far voted for the Rock the top heavy results are to be expected. 20.3% of the 70 respondents so far give him a five out of ten. As many people rate the Rock a Hero as they do a Zero.. but most CFers seem to rate him pretty highly on the scale. 71.9% voted between 5 to 10 out of ten - sound.



Next we have a rather interesting split in the NME with two very clear front runners emerging for "Which of the NME do you reckon has the best chance of becoming Chairman?" ---------->

Patrick Sullivan is the front runner but Christian May is hot on his tail. The divisive ABB has clearly got some core support out there but given some of the comments left on the survey she needs to sort out her bossy demeanor before she will start to win over the mass vote.

Tory Bear put his journalist cap on and got in touch with the leaders of this poll-

The charming and friendly Christian "hot news, firm views" May grumpily said:

"The tory bear blog clearly amuses a few CF members, and having been shown these survey results I can now count myself amongst them."

Well Christian your blog certainly provided many an hour of
amusement
for TB.

Christian also refused to comment on the potential conflict of interest that would arise if he did stand for Chairman and continue his new job as Shane Greer 2 at YBF.

Mr Sullivan was much more helpful:

After you published that picture of me with my hair alight, I'm not exactly sure why I am talking to you my furry friend but thanks for getting in touch –

As for your poll that has me ahead, well firstly I would like to say that I am flattered that there are those out there who think I’d make a good CF Chairman. However, I have so much on at the moment that the next round of CF elections seems a million years away. My main priority at the moment is getting on with doing my job. What I will say is that I am in the process of working on exciting new plans for electing Conservatives in our Students’ Unions and within the NUS, which should be great fun! "

TB likes the sound of this NUS stuff - always a fan of giving the left a good kicking, tough crowd though. A rather enigmatic response from Mr Sullivan especially given the rumour that he has his eye on the top of another organisation, much bigger than CF...


And other runners? News reaches me that a Craig Cox comeback is in the early stages of development and according one respondent Wed, 7/2/08 3:44 PM:

"Neil Martin is running next year - worse kept secret."

TB also had an rather amusing chat with Matt Richardson today about the prospect of another slate "Forward Together Again - Because CF deserves a second chance." Given that 66.2% of those polled responded saying they wouldn't vote for Matt again he better get back on the CF scene pretty pronto if it's going to be second time lucky...


Well seeing as the elections aren't until next April - possibly even next September it's going to be a long old race... You know where you will get the news first though. Happy days.


Tory Bear laid bare

The last 24 hours has seen quite the flurry of activity at ToryBear HQ...

My inbox has been pinging nonstop with emails that range from support, to inquisitive "who are you!?" and then of course there is the standard damn right abuse.

And nice try to that ever ambitious bonnie lass who had a crack at tracing my IP address..

On this note I want to clear up a few things:

Firstly I am not John Moorcraft haha, nor am I on the Exec - I am a small blue teddy bear who likes to cuddle DC- the picture is a dead give away.

Secondly Tory Bear has no malicious intentions. It is my firm believe that CF has been over run by too many greased up little piglets who take themselves far too seriously and it is my number one goal to inject a sense of humour into the organisation.

Thirdly Tory Bear is not looking to create divisions or snipe from the side lines. I am an active CFer and have the best interests of the organisation at heart. At the same time there are some serious flaws that need to be highlighted and in order to protect the debate that I hope will emerge on this site, I will not be revealing my identity so not open myself to allegations of being part of this or that clique, or supporting this faction or that etc.

I hope this has cleared a few things up and that you enjoy the site... I will be publishing the first swath of results soon.


Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Competition #1

There is one of the rare and hard to get (ha) CF bottle openers up for grabs for the first person to tell Tory Bear which prominent CFer thinks girls pyjama bottoms and a bow-tie is a good look...


Update: A clue for you... He has seen both Britney and Christina live..not once but twice dear readers...

Answers below...

Thank you to my co-conspirator who emailed this picture... there was a much more controversial picture also sent in, but TB is going to sit on that one for awhile...

+++ apologies +++

Have been playing around with the layout and design of the blog today, so sorry for any disruption this may have caused.

Cocked up the html so it might look a bit funny for few days but working on it...

Save the Rhino...


CF's very own Obi Wan Kenobi is back and blogging at
moorcraft.blogspot.com


John has spent the last four years living life in the fast lane. The man has been to the edge and back undertaking a research project into the "contemporary young conservative movement," making Pete Doherty look like a little sissy.

With the disappearance of the old Moorcraft blog and the emergence and subsequent fading out of the
Political Rhino
and now the emergence of a new Moorcraft blog, you have to admit John that it looks a little suspicious. Happy to take your word for it though...

Which begs the question where has the Rhino gone?
Come back... unless of course you are busy with something... 27,000 words must take an age to proof read ; )

Joking apart Tory Bear is looking forward to your report and good luck with it all...

You can read previews of John's study at the new Moorcroft blog in the coming weeks.

CF Exec ratings - June 08

Please take ten seconds to complete this survey of the CF Executive's performance so far...

Click Here to take survey


If you have no interest in CF please don't bother...

Results soon...

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

The Next Generation...

So the Tory young and beautiful were out in force tonight at the Adam Smith Institute's annual lash up on a boat...

Tory Bear managed to fight his way through the swarms of brash American interns who spent the evening arguing about the many different ways they would like to see Barack crash and burn, to find an almost dry bar...

Quote of the night - "McCain '08...yeah more like 1908"

"The Next Generation" - as the evening was billed whooped in a near delirious delight as the boat sailed past City Hall... the screams of "Boris...BORIS!!!" were quite haunting.


The big hit of the night was naughty boy
Howard Flight
who was corrupting the CFers with his tales of
tax cutting
and how to piss off Michael Howard... Tory Bear has never seen so many business cards be whipped out...





This one is going on my wall though:

Other gossip from the evening:

Well it seems that "CF Top Totty" (according to John Moorcraft cough...I mean
Political Rhino
,) Alexandra Swann has managed to stop talking about Surrey for more than eight seconds... She has a new favourite topic of conversation - her recent contraction of the highly contagious and infectious MarClar disease... woof!


Buried the hatchet?

It seems that CCHQ bad boy Michael Lunn (the civil service of Conservative Future,) has buried the hatchet with desert island tory Claire Hilley... On Facebook at least!


After the
"scandal"
of last years CF elections with Lunn actively trying to get Hilley fast-tracked as Chairman supposedly on the orders of DC and Spelperson the shit hit the fan when the plot descended into a who leaked what saga commendably pursued Watergate style by
ConservativeHome
.

Good to see that they have kissed and made up.

Tory Bear wonders whether Mr Lunn will attempt a similar stunt in next years elections.. word on the street is Hilley wasn't the only young ambitious female CFer approached and asked to run...

The mystery of the ridiculous hat...

Anyone wondering why Conservative Future's esteemed National Campaigns coordinator was seen sporting such a ridiculous hat on TelegraphTV's feature on Boris campaigning in Henley?


Equally baffling was the new skin head look Patrick Sullivan seemed to have adopted for polling day- I would have said that this wouldn't go down in well in Henley but given that this is the constituency that contains more BNP supporters than Labour I'm not so sure now...







Well the answer isn't too hard to find if you have a sneaky peek at the plethora of celebratory facebook albums from the countless CF hacks who decamped to Henley for election week:


Patrick we salute you.