Bag-Carrier Invasion of the News International Party

This section from TB's favourite Labour lady-blogger

Sadie Smith's

conference round up made him chuckle:

The news of the the Sun's "Labour's Lost It" editorial started doing the rounds about 9pm the previous evening, at precisely the same time that the News International chaps - and this was a courageous decision in retrospect - hosted their champagne reception for the most important and influential people at Conference.

In the next room was the Co-op party, a good do by all accounts. Both events were proceeding pretty much as planned until some enterprising comrade in the News International do realised there was a fire door that linked both parties. Outraged, as we all were, at the Sun's attempted hatchet job, this individual opened the joining door and, with the rallying cry, "free champagne this way!" caused a minor riot as a stampede of the hoi polloi took the News International reception by storm.

I was at a dinner outside the Conference centre but heard an account from a friend who was a witness of the insurrection. It was reported to me that a comrade was caught wandering off with a glass of champagne, only to be accosted by a News International woman who demanded to know whether Moet was being stolen.

"Er, yes," replied the criminal, without blinking.

"Well," huffed the woman, "I think that is very immature."

This coming from from a corporation that the next day would publish a teenager in blue panties declaring her love for David Cameron struck us all, after the event, as hilariously rich."

Anyone thinking what TB is thinking?

Well, will see if he can blag an invite first...

And it won't just be Labour slurs...

As TB mentioned in his previous post, the kitchen sink is coming. While Nigel Farage isn't a tory, he is one of the most articulate and shrewd defenders of freedom out there. So obviously the Lib Dems are all up for smearing him with

baseless and pathetic shit

:

Lib Dem Voice claims to be a sensible website, a conversation etc with Lib Dem members. It hardly does itself justice by running slurs such as that. The cheapest of cheap shots.

No wonder nobody reads it.

The Kitchen Sink is Coming

Sunny Hundal, head honcho of Liberal Conspiracy,

says

:

"There needs to be an increasing drive towards investigative blogging, finding news and digging up dirt on the opposition. Just writing opinion is no longer enough. Left-wing blogging has to focus on two things: collating and publishing news, and doing distributed investigative journalism. More on this another time.

Not only will it get dirty and partisan – I’d say that is exactly where we need to be."

Dirty and partisan eh?

Last time Tory Bear heard anyone recommend that as a game plan it was our dear Derek, and that didn't go too well. The left have become increasingly desperate in the last few weeks. While obviously some attacks are

done with a sense of humour

, Kerry McCarthy "Twitter Czar" and her harem of minions are getting bitchier and bitchier, as are the likes of Chris "sailing close to the libel wind" Paul of

Labour of Love

, a bitter and clearly very warped individual.

The whole Labour supporting movement, bar, ironically,

LabourList

which has been rather sensible recently and some more serious policy types (Will Straw and Jessica Asato come to mind) are really beginning to clutch at straws. Expect the Damian McBride School of Political Campaigning™ to really come of age during conference. TB imagines dirty and partisan

James Macintyre

, who got his fingers burnt pushing Hundal's Hannan-is-a-racist meme to be a key figure in this mud slinging.

Do your worst, it only proves what everyone knows already - Labour is fighting like an failing opposition party, in a state of utter desperation.

Murdoch Two, Brown Nil

Without the excellent

campaign by Sky News

Gordon would still be cowering in his bunker. Instead the nation's voters are going to get the chance to see the real choice of Cameron or Brown, with periodic interruptions from Clegg who will no doubt be loving the publicity boost and another chance to pump out hollow and shallow promise of gold, knowing full well he will never have to implement them.

Blair would have been perfect for this, but Brown, given his recent TV appearances could well crack up live on television. His personal disdain for Cameron is well known and putting them head to head, not once but THREE times is going to be popcorn worthy.

It was Sky wot won it.

HHC

I saw a man on a scooter rolling down the corridor yesterday. What a stroke of genius! Why didn't I think of that? Apparently Westminster has eight miles of corridors (I read recently – I know not why). I actually have no idea how the European Parliament matches up, but it can't be far off. There are many downsides to this – not least the dawning horror when you realise you've left your pass on your desk at lunchtime (the cafeteria is guarded with zeal matched only by our infamously harsh year 11 prefects at school) – but this week I once again had the 'pleasure' of showing a visitors group around the Parliament, and naturally its rather grandiose size leads people to expect a long tour. “This is the Hemicycle.” I said. “They never really use this, because most of the plenaries happen in Strasbourg, but you can take a look... Oh, they seem to be using it today. Only MEPs are allowed in... although I see my colleague is there at the back, taking notes.” “Is there anything else to see?” asked one of the visitors “erm..., well mainly it's offices, if I'm honest.” “Right. Well where can we get some coffee then?” Clearly a visitor with his priorities in order.

At the end of a stressful week (one of those in which by Tuesday you're asking with genuine incredulity: 'how can it not be almost the weekend already?), a rather hectic Friday. But we still managed to find a slot in which to goad the Federalists – surely a mandatory pass-time on the day Ireland votes? First out of the gates were the pro-Europeans, with a lovely little rant against The Sun. Apparently Trevor Kavanagh sounds like Gerry Adams circa 1974 and Labour haven't lost it. Of course Team Hannan weren't having any of that, pointing out the sheer cheek of telling the Irish that they'd got it wrong the first time around and would have to have a second go. Cue a lovely little rant from an Irish EPPer, with the particuarly choice paragraph “The Irish will vote again because the Irish government preserve the right to put any question they see fit to the people. We are not being told to vote again, we are voting again because it is in our best interests. If the people decide to vote No then the people must be full sure that this is what they want.” So you see, it's not that the Irish actually meant to turn down Lisbon, they just didn't realise what they were doing, so the nice government have given them a second chance to rectify that mistake. Good old Irish government.

Incidentally, if they vote No again will this turn into a yearly event? We could start having anti-federalisation parties, with fancy dress and lots of Guinness.

I'm afraid my hellish journey on Southern Rail has taken it out of me rather, and Rococo is champing for a nice long gallop across the downs. So you'll have to excuse me until next week – must take time for a soothing hot chocolate before braving the best of the British weather. See you at Conference!

Ready for Change

TB is off out tonight to interview errr JLS on the back of their two Mobo Awards. Blogging will be light, but in the mean time he thought he would leave you, via

ConHome

, with what is seemingly going to be the theme of next week's conference:

243 days to go.

Was it worth the round trip?

The times they are a'changing...

TB never thought the day would come when IPPR, New Labour's favourite think tank, would be ingratiating themselves so obviously with the Conservatives. Clearly more switched on than the Labour Party grassroots, IPPR are playing footsie with Conservative Future:

"To open up the debate, ippr and Conservative Future are asking party activists for their ideas and opinions on how politics needs to change and the big issues facing the party and country. We will put your views directly to the politicians at our events. We feel this is particularly important in a climate where political trust has been badly battered. So we need to bring people into the heart of the debate. In this instance that means party members and others, not just the people who usually attend conference or the people on our panel. We want to include your views directly in the discussion."

There is more info

here

.

Joking apart there are some fairly interesting questions asked in their survey

here

.

You spend six months...

...looking for a decent cartoonist and then you end up with two:

This one from

Lazy Hyena

, a new anarco-feminist lady-blogger.

Busted!

TB was wondering when

this

would surface. As for the picture... well, enough said.

Who said TB was never on message!

Sorry Chums!

The error messages on the new

myconservatives.com

are genius:

Rumours swirling that Pickles has

joined Twitter

. Sky says it's fake, plugged in tories more confident...

UPDATE 12.39: Nothing like the

dulcit tones

of TV's Shane Greer on a Friday afternoon.

Prescott Goes Fourth

And on and on and on. TB didn't make it to the end of this video:



It's just a din.

Just in case you missed it...

Lad.

Another One Bites the Dust

It seems to be a recurring theme of the week, over promoted Labour drones being given a bloody good kicking on television. First it was Miliband Jnr and last night Ben Bradshaw took a thumping from not only Dimbleby and Starkey on the panel, but from the audience as well. Just a little fact check Ben, you probably should have got one of your minions to show you

this poll

before you quoted Wednesday's figures as proof the Sun had no effect:

Bradshaw went on to claim he was a child during the Polanski scandal, he was 17. Despite being Secretary of State for Culture Media and Sport he displayed an utter ignorance of cinema that was a "bit before his time."

Would be funny if these idiots weren't actually in charge.

No

The Irish have a chance today to stop the EU from becoming the political equivalent of John Leslie.

No meant no the first time. Best of luck to the No campaign today.

Blaney's Blarney Order

Congratulations to TB's comrade at arms Donal Blaney tonight for dragging the law kicking and screaming into the 21st century. The nation's media is reporting how, along with the help of one Matthew Richardson, Blaney has become the first person in the world to serve an injunction via Twitter. More important though are the implications that this ruling will have for anonymous copyrighted attacks:





Donal has

just blogged

: "Today is a great day for the overwhelming majority of well-meaning, decent people who use the internet and a bad day for bullies. It is, as I have said in the media, the day the scales of justice were tipped back in favour of innocent victims. I am proud that my firm, Griffin Law, has set precedent and made law today.

Now let's see which left-wing blogger is behind this: I am sure the same names spring to your minds as spring to mind..."

One to watch...

UPDATED: Who is this TB guy anyway?

The suits went to the cleaners this morning, the mane is getting a trim, hotel booked etc. Hundreds of little blue teddies are ready to invade Manchester. TB is surprisingly organised for conference this year. He even upgraded the karaoke venue this afternoon enabling space for another thirty or so... Got your ticket yet?

TB is seemingly going to be a busy little bear next week. Through the wonders of

Fringelist

you can see what events he is rocking up to and involved in

here

. You can also see exactly what is going on across the fringe and create your own profile, and more importantly - blackberry/iphone accessible schedule.

Some highlights though:

Sunday:

Conservative Future Conference

with training by

YBF

- TB will be there most of the afternoon and evening. Was great last year and set to be even better this time round. TB will be speaking for half an hour or so about bloggery type things.

Monday:

From 10am till 1pm TB will be debating toryness on the

Victoria Derbyshire Show

on Radio 5. Be sure to tune in if you're not in Manchester.

Lots going on in the evening from the

Pub Quiz

to the

CF curry night

followed of course by TB's Karaoke. This will be taking place in the Studio Club below Chicago Rock, 23 St Peters Street - opposite the main conference venue. It kicks off at 11pm and will go till the small hours. Lots of special guests lined up... Get your ticket here for a fiver, or a tenner on the door.

Tuesday:

Bright and early TB will be on a panel debating the role of the BBC in the new media age. This is happening at 10.15 in the

Freedom Zone

. Full details

here

.

At 2pm he will also be at the Sunlight Centre's

Disinfecting Parliament Debate

and then hopefully getting a long overdue drink with

Dizzy

.

Wednesday:

Before the Party for Change TB and

@Timforchange

will be hosting a Tweet Up and bloggers chinwag in VIP room of the Party for Change. More details

here

. Will be good to put some faces to names and skip the queues before the main event.

No doubt he will be loitering around other events and propping up the bar in the Midland. You can't miss him, he's about a foot and a half tall and covered in blue fur.

myconservatives.com

Telegraph

have been given the first glimpse:

"

MyConservatives.com

, which goes live at 10am, will build on the lessons the Party has learnt from websites such as My.BarackObama.com, by allowing individual users to organise “microcampaigns” and set specific fund-raising targets for online donations. It will also let people telephone canvass from home as well as organise and sell tickets for events online."

Game on.

Last Orders for Labour

TB has eyes and ears everywhere. As if Stephen Twigg throwing some shapes on the dance floor at the Labour Students "Disco" last night wasn't funny enough, the scene at the Grand Hotel Bar will make you chuckle. First there was the singing around the piano:

Then TB's sources told of the heartbreaking scene at 5am, when the bar finally closed. Drunk hacks began banging on the tables, stamping their feet, wine soaked voices in unison shouting...

"Four more years, four more years, four more years."

Eduction Eduction Eduction!

A new low for Labour in their latest

Party Political Broadcast

:

3/10, see me.

Cheers for the anonymous tip-off.