Prepare for Another War

So it's sort of official, Bad Al is back. Brown was still as wooden and weird as ever at PMQs yesterday, the only difference being that he had some decent arrows in his bow for once. Campbell has been doing some what of a victory lap this morning, less than subtly taking credit for this apparent resurgence. He even popped up on LBC and had the audacity of discussing Andy Coulson in the context of bullying. Is this the very same Alastair Campbell forced out of his job after overseeing the most poisonous and corrupt decade in British politics?

This former pornographer, alcoholic and bullyboy doesn't exactly have a great track record in which to launch his attacks from. Last time TB checked Andy Coulson wasn't detained and forced to hospital by the police for his and others safety. In his hack days Campbell was famed for punching fellow lefties, cutting his teeth as a thug in preparation for his future enforcer role. You would think there were already enough basket cases in the bunker.

With this background of thuggery, Campbell took to his role of summoning all the dark arts of the media against his masters enemies like a duck to water. Shouting and screaming down the phone, threats to end careers, emotional and actual blackmail, and a stubborn refusal to ever concede any point. How did the famous Iraq quote go again? "Come on, you don't seriously think we won't find anything?"

TB is at a loss to explain this collective bout of amnesia that has broken out across Westminster. How many people have managed to survive driving a whistle-blower to suicide and been able to bounce back as a knight in shining armour at an hour of need. Even his homage Malcolm Tucker hasn't killed anyone.

For Campbell to be brought back into the fold is almost as explosive as the return of Mandy. Ever the careerist, Mandelson's return was easy to comprehend, but Campbell has nothing to lose, he is there for one reason and one reason only - to play dirty. At times the New Labour foursome swore never to be in the same room as each other again but then desperate times call for desperate measures. It is clear that Mandy has lost the argument that the toff line won't work and who better to oversee a kitchen sink operation than then poisonous and hateful man who wrote the rule book. Campbell went before because he was a liability, things must be in utter chaos if the Brownites, who were so often at the receiving end of Campbell's dirty tricks, have been forced to beg him for their help.

This is going to get nastier than anyone can imagine.

Wickedio

Everyone's favourite

"wifey"

has nabbed a sneak preview of the

Wikio

rankings for this month. They are not out officially until Saturday. TB has moved up another place to sixth:

1	Iain Dale's Diary (=)
2	Guy Fawkes' blog (=)
3	Liberal Conspiracy (=)
4	Labourlist (=)
5	Liberal Democrat Voice (=)
6	Tory Bear (+1)
7	And another thing... (-1)
8	Old Holborn (+1)
9	Harry's Place (-1)
10	ConservativeHome's ToryDiary (+37)

More.

Something tells him that Tom Harris might be taking some more pictures soon...

Guess the bear is going to have to take on Lib Dem Voice next. Problem being that they are a multi staffed website. He'll give it a crack though! He better up his game a bit.

TB is amazed and chuffed with his hundred thousand visits last month. Thank you!

Think She'll Have the Bear?

Calling all rats

! Anyone want to join a sinking ship? You will gain an exciting insight into the last few months of a Parliamentary career:

"an volunteer intern"?

Clearly a grasp of basic English is not essential for the role, just as long as they can tweet eh Kerry?

Hear Bear Here

You can now listen to TB chatting away on this week's

House of Comment

podcast. Always fun to spar with the

Monkey

and in excellent company with

Stuart Sharpe

and

Mark

of Reckoning fame.

Click the player to tune in.

UPDATE: Gordon Lied to the House

Gordon Brown claimed Spain is in the G20. He said "Spain is now in the G20" Spain is not in the G20. Here is the

G20 website

:

An apology is due...

PMQs verdict: It seems the bunker staff have got Gordon's dose right. He was without notes and aggressively managed to land some blows for once. However they were as pathetic and off-putting as they were rehearsed and practiced. The strategy is beginning to emerge.. Whack Dave for going to Eton. Ha if that's the best they can do...

It didn't work at Crewe - it repulsed even Labour's core vote and it certainly won't win across the country. A massively entertaining PMQs after many many dull outings. Cameron had a good point on the recession, and the bunker line was a classic, but for once Gordon managed to fight back. No war but class war eh.

Oh and thanks Zac. Dick.

GuyNews

has the moment in all its glory

Winners!

TB forgot to ever chose winners for the last two caption contests. Alan Duncan one was less funny but this made TB chuckle:

See this watch? It's Mandy's!

The bar was higher for Gordon pouting at the sailors and the clear winner had to be:

(Interviewer) - 'so what would you say is your favourite type of sailor Mr. Brown?'

(GB) - 'well I like...er...English sailors..b-b-British sailors...er...American sailors...Italian sailors...Indian sailors and Chinese sailors...er...traditional saliors...all sorts really.'

Get in touch James and KRO for your copy of

The Yes Minister Miscellany

.

Feeding the Inner Geek

The office desk is nearly complete:

Just need a red phone.

Red on Red?

As the dust settles on yesterday's little expose TB is left wondering if the "civil servant" in question has done nothing wrong why then has DEFRA forbidden her to speak to journalists eh? This made TB laugh:

Very good friends TB hears. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out where TB's fun and games came from yesterday. London Young Labour are in a factional ferret sack. The more right-wing Labour Student faction were smarting at the loss of the coin toss, despite bussing in rent-a-crowds. Despite his

loud protestations

it's funny that David Green didn't reply when TB asked him if, while he himself did not leak the story, whether or not he could account for his campaign team...

A couple of points David. TB refuses to be lectured by anyone from actively seeking office in the Labour Party on decency, Quigley is a servant of the state, thus her employment status is very much in the public interest and come on - rule number one of blogging. When is a smear not a smear?

When it's the truth.

House of Comments

TB will be taking part in the House of Comments podcast tonight at 7:30 if you are bored and near a computer. Imagine Civil Service impartiality will be discussed.

Listen

here

.

Tom Harris MP is Mean

TB has an extremely sore head after the Fabians bash last night. He really should have eaten something before he went out. The long night ended with a comradely chat in Strangers but it seems a

certain blogging MP

didn't appreciate his early christmas present:

Poor wee bear.

Civil Servant Pulls Anti-Tory Blog & Blocks Twitter Account

If it was impartial all along why the need for this?

Now you see it:

Now you don't.

Background here and here.

Updated - DEFRA Statement

"Staff at certain grades can take part in national and local political activities provided they do not occupy sensitive posts. We can confirm that the civil servant in question is not in a politically restricted role. The Civil Service code sets out the duties and responsibilities of all civil servants, whatever their jobs. Defra takes the impartiality of its employees seriously and is confident that impartiality has not been compromised in this case."

Interesting...

Some further questions:

What is her job?

Why then was "the civil servant in question" allegedly prohibited from attending Labour Party conference this year due to the sensitivity of her role in briefing ministers?

So Defra is fine with their civil servants writing for an

officially endorsed Labour website

?

How do the following not compromise impartiality:

"I pay my union dues (I'm a proud Unite member) and a couple of quid to Amnesty. I'm also shelling out for my Labour Party membership, plus Compass and the Fabian Society."

Compass and Fabian both actively lobby departments such as Defra.

From

the blog

:

"I'm beginning to think it's time to revive tactical voting. I disagree with the Lib Dems on substantial issues. That's why I'm not a Lib Dem, interestingly enough. Still, if I live in a constituency where it's a choice between a Lib Dem and a Tory MP, where the Labour candidate is unlikely to get a look in, I'd strongly consider voting for the Lib Dem candidate."

"In 2005, I had the dubious privilege of a meeting with Davey C, then Shadow Education Secretary, along with university classmates. (Yep, Dave and I have the same degree from the same Oxford college. Only I didn't get a first.) I asked him his feelings on proportional representation. He slammed me down fairly comprehensively in that charming oh-what-a-silly-young-Irish-woman, don't-ask-me-difficult-questions sort of way."

Conservatives - "They'd be funny if they weren't so dangerous."

Plus TB's favourite: "Every time I hear anything about the Tories these days, it reminds me of

this

."

How can they be confident impartiality has not been breached when this impartial civil servant is so clearly repulsed by the prospect of a potential incoming Conservative government?

Where does calling Tories c**ts fit in that impartiality thing? Will she be able to form the "same relationship with those whom you may be required to serve in some future Government"?

TB didn't think so either.

UPDATE 16.15: DEFRA Senior Press Officer Sima Parmar has refused to comment on why Quigley was not allowed to go to Party conference. Funny that.

For those faceless anonymous commenters, with a limited number of IP addresses, who are asking why TB wants this person fired, let him make a couple of things clear. He has no desire to see this person fired just the blog and the Young Labour chairmanship to go while she is taking the taxpayers shilling.

Why is DEFRA Stalling?

TB has put some very simple questions to the DEFRA press office.

Firstly is Miss Quigley's role political?

If yes, then fine, move along. Nothing to see here.

But if not, as inferred by the press officer this morning, then how is her position as a regional office holder, not local, but regional office holder of the Labour Party acceptable as a non-partisan civil servant?

Secondly how does the fervent anti-Tory rhetoric on

her blog

fit into to the idea that she would be able to establish the "same relationship with those whom you may be required to serve in some future Government"? These aren't private political views when she is actively campaigning and promoting them online and around the country.

DEFRA claim to still be "looking into the matter". How long can it take?

Is she political or not?

Did Christine Not Get the Memo?

While TB waits for the DEFRA press office to call back he thought he would share this:

Impartiality

You must:
carry out your responsibilities in a way that is fair, just and equitable and reflects the Civil Service commitment to equality and diversity.

You must not:
act in a way that unjustifiably favours or discriminates against particular individuals or interests.

Political Impartiality

You must:
serve the Government, whatever its political persuasion, to the best of your ability in a way which maintains political impartiality and is in line with the requirements of this Code, no matter what your own political beliefs are;
act in a way which deserves and retains the confidence of Ministers, while at the same time ensuring that you will be able to establish the same relationship with those whom you may be required to serve in some future Government; and
comply with any restrictions that have been laid down on your political activities.

You must not:
act in a way that is determined by party political considerations, or use official resources for party political purposes; or allow your personal political views to determine any advice you give or your actions.

It's a riveting read.

Pressure Mounts on Goldie

The reaction to TB's post last week about the need for a new leader for the Scottish Conservative Party had mixed reactions. He was particularly amused by the amount of Labour people claiming she is the Tories best asset north of the border. If they are the ones that like her, things are clearly not going in the right direction. There was a combination of texts ranging from "I can't believe you said that!" to "thank god someone said that!" to "I can't believe you said that, people are going to think it came from me!"

TB already knew he wasn't alone in his thinking and yesterday's Sunday Herald had more:

Tory industry supporters, in common with other senior party figures, do not believe she is the leader the Conservatives need. One senior party insider said: “She fits none of the requirements of the modern Conservative party.” While the UK Conservatives continue to record substantial leads over Labour in UK opinion polls, the Scottish Tories are struggling to make an impact. At the last Holyrood poll, Goldie won 16.6% of the first-past-the-post vote, and 13.9% of the regional vote.

However, Cameron is believed to support Goldie as he cannot see an obvious alternative. One well-placed Tory source said Goldie’s inability to persuade Cameron to back more financial powers for Holyrood was an example of her ineffectiveness. MSPs were said to be taken aback at Goldie’s anger at the piece, with one insider saying that the Scottish Tory leader had been “furious”. A small number of culprits have been identified as the potential source of the leak.

TB gets the impression a ball is beginning to roll.

Good Morning Labour

This is Christine Quigley:

On Saturday night Christine was controversally

elected

as Chairman of London Young Labour. So what TB hears you cry...

Well TB understands Miss Quiqley better go tell her day job boss about her new very very political role. TB hopes she realises that it could potentially be against the law if she hasn't...

The Bear will be calling in an hour so to make sure everything is hunky dory.

developing...

Cartoon - Kerry Does a Derek Edition

Floreat Etona

Both

UKIP

and the

Libertarian Party

have this weekend chosen new leaders. Congratulations to

Lord Pearson

and Chris "

DK

" Mounsey respectively. Add them to the list of Old Etonian Party leaders. Alongside Dave they keep great company. Mr Mounsey was quick to dismiss that this is a coordinated big right-wing conspiracy...

"No it's a coordinated Old Etonian take over."

Exclusive: Simon Cowell and Cheryl Cole

Well don't ever say TB doesn't provide a comprehensive service. The sexual tension is pretty obvious, the little jokes and the hand draped on the back, and that's without the way he looks at her. TB's man in the know has just confirmed what he has long suspected - Simon Cowell is getting it on with Cheryl Cole. Good lad. TB has had this double sourced now.

Hello! and OK! better credit him!

Quote of the Week

"It's like the break up of The Beatles, during the fall of the Roman Empire, while fucking Jordan is divorcing that bloke. All happening in a tiny fucking terraced house."

-Malcolm Tucker

discussing

the current mood in No10.

Cough.