Aww.

They actually bothered coming down to the entrance to the secure zone:

Solid effort.

Tune into Radio 5 Live at 12

If you aren't at

#cpc09

. Click

here

to listen to TB on the Victoria Derbyshire show.

Highly impressed the hashtag had reached the 4th most popular topic on twitter.

And we don't even have a twitter czar.

Poor Kerry McCarthy. No seat come May and an utter failure at her job to promote her party on that interwebby thing.

Sunday

So perhaps the 7am Google Breakfast was ambitious. So conference has been open for less than an hour and already it is the ninth most talked about subject on Twitter in the world. TB had a cracking first night - thank you Labour controlled Manchester Council for the fish and chips and lashing of err pudding wine. TB quickly made his way to the New Statesman party to cause some ructions. All in all a success, he ended up chatting to James Macintyre, their controversial political editor for a good half an hour. It could be described as a broad conversation and TB isn't yet sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for him.

The CF drinks were a blur of old faces, and more importantly lots of new ones. For a party that is often viewed as aged, there are a hell of a lot of passionate and extremely articulate and on message Cameroons here who make even TB feel old. The evening ended in style in Midland with an even bigger flurry of old faces and Lord Strathclyde up to his usual tricks - whispering in a young lady's ear.

The Midland is lobbyist central, and given it's six quid for a G&T TB can't say he's disappointed.

The Stage is Set

and yeah.. it's awesome.

Conference Totty Watch - Episode 1

There were some pretty damn funny stories to come out of Birmingham conference last year. This hilarious one has been doing the rounds, but TB never thought it would be the one to

make it into a newspaper

:

The sting, news of which has been passed around political circles, was hatched while Ms Squire was enjoying a round of evening receptions. At one, she was approached by a middle-aged delegate who told her: ‘You must come back to my room.’

Despite Ms Squire’s refusal, the man continued to press his case, eventually thrusting one of his room cards for the Birmingham Hyatt into her hand and saying: ‘Come to my room at 3.30am, when the parties are over, and I will give you the time of your life.’

Ms Squire, who was a model and journalist in South Africa and New York before joining the campaigning group, accepted the key – but with no intention of taking him up on his offer.

She then went to another reception, where she was pestered by a second, younger man in similarly persistent terms.

Exasperated, she eventually reached for the first man’s room card and smiled: ‘OK. Here is the key to my room. Come up at 3.30am and I’ll give you the time of your life.’

She was left in little doubt that her ploy to bring the two ardent men together had succeeded when she encountered one of them the following morning, who expressed his fury about his early-hours meeting."

You have been warned boys. Though you all know what to do with your conference rumours!

NO2ID Rally

Conservative Future

has a long history of supporting the NO2ID Campaign and given the Labour Government is using Manchester as a guinea pig for this unnecessary and wasteful scheme it seems there a plan brewing.

Manchester's huge student population will be some of the first victims of the scheme with the Government planning to refuse student loans from those who don't sign up for the 'voluntary scheme'. So CF is hitting the streets.

The rally is Tuesday 6th October, 12.30pm at Albert Square (next to Manchester Town Hall.) Damian Green MP is speaking at 1pm. Michael Rock, Chairman of Conservative Future states “working in conjunction with the NO2ID team, we're aiming to have the largest CF rally to date, incorporating the 'Reclaim your DNA' message and bringing together local students and workers, Conference delegates and MPs.If you value your ID, your DNA and your freedom then I urge you to come along, get involved and send a message to this out of touch Government."

TB will be there, and can he just say, the new CF press operation is getting slick.

Just Bears and Bags

Not really any room for anything else in the case:

6am start. Bed.

Thieving Paws...

Hmmm TB is sure he has read that story somewhere before. At least the Evening Standard referenced where they got it from when they covered it.

Invoice on the way Monkey.

Bag-Carrier Invasion of the News International Party

This section from TB's favourite Labour lady-blogger

Sadie Smith's

conference round up made him chuckle:

The news of the the Sun's "Labour's Lost It" editorial started doing the rounds about 9pm the previous evening, at precisely the same time that the News International chaps - and this was a courageous decision in retrospect - hosted their champagne reception for the most important and influential people at Conference.

In the next room was the Co-op party, a good do by all accounts. Both events were proceeding pretty much as planned until some enterprising comrade in the News International do realised there was a fire door that linked both parties. Outraged, as we all were, at the Sun's attempted hatchet job, this individual opened the joining door and, with the rallying cry, "free champagne this way!" caused a minor riot as a stampede of the hoi polloi took the News International reception by storm.

I was at a dinner outside the Conference centre but heard an account from a friend who was a witness of the insurrection. It was reported to me that a comrade was caught wandering off with a glass of champagne, only to be accosted by a News International woman who demanded to know whether Moet was being stolen.

"Er, yes," replied the criminal, without blinking.

"Well," huffed the woman, "I think that is very immature."

This coming from from a corporation that the next day would publish a teenager in blue panties declaring her love for David Cameron struck us all, after the event, as hilariously rich."

Anyone thinking what TB is thinking?

Well, will see if he can blag an invite first...

And it won't just be Labour slurs...

As TB mentioned in his previous post, the kitchen sink is coming. While Nigel Farage isn't a tory, he is one of the most articulate and shrewd defenders of freedom out there. So obviously the Lib Dems are all up for smearing him with

baseless and pathetic shit

:

Lib Dem Voice claims to be a sensible website, a conversation etc with Lib Dem members. It hardly does itself justice by running slurs such as that. The cheapest of cheap shots.

No wonder nobody reads it.

The Kitchen Sink is Coming

Sunny Hundal, head honcho of Liberal Conspiracy,

says

:

"There needs to be an increasing drive towards investigative blogging, finding news and digging up dirt on the opposition. Just writing opinion is no longer enough. Left-wing blogging has to focus on two things: collating and publishing news, and doing distributed investigative journalism. More on this another time.

Not only will it get dirty and partisan – I’d say that is exactly where we need to be."

Dirty and partisan eh?

Last time Tory Bear heard anyone recommend that as a game plan it was our dear Derek, and that didn't go too well. The left have become increasingly desperate in the last few weeks. While obviously some attacks are

done with a sense of humour

, Kerry McCarthy "Twitter Czar" and her harem of minions are getting bitchier and bitchier, as are the likes of Chris "sailing close to the libel wind" Paul of

Labour of Love

, a bitter and clearly very warped individual.

The whole Labour supporting movement, bar, ironically,

LabourList

which has been rather sensible recently and some more serious policy types (Will Straw and Jessica Asato come to mind) are really beginning to clutch at straws. Expect the Damian McBride School of Political Campaigning™ to really come of age during conference. TB imagines dirty and partisan

James Macintyre

, who got his fingers burnt pushing Hundal's Hannan-is-a-racist meme to be a key figure in this mud slinging.

Do your worst, it only proves what everyone knows already - Labour is fighting like an failing opposition party, in a state of utter desperation.

Murdoch Two, Brown Nil

Without the excellent

campaign by Sky News

Gordon would still be cowering in his bunker. Instead the nation's voters are going to get the chance to see the real choice of Cameron or Brown, with periodic interruptions from Clegg who will no doubt be loving the publicity boost and another chance to pump out hollow and shallow promise of gold, knowing full well he will never have to implement them.

Blair would have been perfect for this, but Brown, given his recent TV appearances could well crack up live on television. His personal disdain for Cameron is well known and putting them head to head, not once but THREE times is going to be popcorn worthy.

It was Sky wot won it.

HHC

I saw a man on a scooter rolling down the corridor yesterday. What a stroke of genius! Why didn't I think of that? Apparently Westminster has eight miles of corridors (I read recently – I know not why). I actually have no idea how the European Parliament matches up, but it can't be far off. There are many downsides to this – not least the dawning horror when you realise you've left your pass on your desk at lunchtime (the cafeteria is guarded with zeal matched only by our infamously harsh year 11 prefects at school) – but this week I once again had the 'pleasure' of showing a visitors group around the Parliament, and naturally its rather grandiose size leads people to expect a long tour. “This is the Hemicycle.” I said. “They never really use this, because most of the plenaries happen in Strasbourg, but you can take a look... Oh, they seem to be using it today. Only MEPs are allowed in... although I see my colleague is there at the back, taking notes.” “Is there anything else to see?” asked one of the visitors “erm..., well mainly it's offices, if I'm honest.” “Right. Well where can we get some coffee then?” Clearly a visitor with his priorities in order.

At the end of a stressful week (one of those in which by Tuesday you're asking with genuine incredulity: 'how can it not be almost the weekend already?), a rather hectic Friday. But we still managed to find a slot in which to goad the Federalists – surely a mandatory pass-time on the day Ireland votes? First out of the gates were the pro-Europeans, with a lovely little rant against The Sun. Apparently Trevor Kavanagh sounds like Gerry Adams circa 1974 and Labour haven't lost it. Of course Team Hannan weren't having any of that, pointing out the sheer cheek of telling the Irish that they'd got it wrong the first time around and would have to have a second go. Cue a lovely little rant from an Irish EPPer, with the particuarly choice paragraph “The Irish will vote again because the Irish government preserve the right to put any question they see fit to the people. We are not being told to vote again, we are voting again because it is in our best interests. If the people decide to vote No then the people must be full sure that this is what they want.” So you see, it's not that the Irish actually meant to turn down Lisbon, they just didn't realise what they were doing, so the nice government have given them a second chance to rectify that mistake. Good old Irish government.

Incidentally, if they vote No again will this turn into a yearly event? We could start having anti-federalisation parties, with fancy dress and lots of Guinness.

I'm afraid my hellish journey on Southern Rail has taken it out of me rather, and Rococo is champing for a nice long gallop across the downs. So you'll have to excuse me until next week – must take time for a soothing hot chocolate before braving the best of the British weather. See you at Conference!

Ready for Change

TB is off out tonight to interview errr JLS on the back of their two Mobo Awards. Blogging will be light, but in the mean time he thought he would leave you, via

ConHome

, with what is seemingly going to be the theme of next week's conference:

243 days to go.

Was it worth the round trip?

The times they are a'changing...

TB never thought the day would come when IPPR, New Labour's favourite think tank, would be ingratiating themselves so obviously with the Conservatives. Clearly more switched on than the Labour Party grassroots, IPPR are playing footsie with Conservative Future:

"To open up the debate, ippr and Conservative Future are asking party activists for their ideas and opinions on how politics needs to change and the big issues facing the party and country. We will put your views directly to the politicians at our events. We feel this is particularly important in a climate where political trust has been badly battered. So we need to bring people into the heart of the debate. In this instance that means party members and others, not just the people who usually attend conference or the people on our panel. We want to include your views directly in the discussion."

There is more info

here

.

Joking apart there are some fairly interesting questions asked in their survey

here

.

You spend six months...

...looking for a decent cartoonist and then you end up with two:

This one from

Lazy Hyena

, a new anarco-feminist lady-blogger.

Busted!

TB was wondering when

this

would surface. As for the picture... well, enough said.

Who said TB was never on message!

Sorry Chums!

The error messages on the new

myconservatives.com

are genius:

Rumours swirling that Pickles has

joined Twitter

. Sky says it's fake, plugged in tories more confident...

UPDATE 12.39: Nothing like the

dulcit tones

of TV's Shane Greer on a Friday afternoon.

Prescott Goes Fourth

And on and on and on. TB didn't make it to the end of this video:



It's just a din.