Things Can Only Get Better

TB is definitely up for a Christmas Karaoke repeat. Thanks again to everyone who came down last Monday. As you may be able to tell, TB had a cracking night. As the Standard and Guardian reported, the hundred strong crowd belting out a rendition of Things Can Only Get Better was quite a moment.

No wonder the bear still has sore throat.

Something for the weekend... #93

Only in Canadia



That's what TB is talking aboot.

Wikio Lovin' Grows

TB has just noticed he has hit number eight in the

Wikio rankings

. Last month had a serious flurry of traffic over a couple of big stories so he imagines that had something to do with it. He doesn't particularly trust Wikio 100% as an accurate judge of influence. At the end of the day what matters is traffic and TB knows full well there are many, many, blogs below him in these standings that have a higher traffic flow than his own little corner.

Still, a big thank you to all those who have stopped by and especially those who have sent traffic this way.

Hermione's Conference Diary

The rain has been lashing and lashing down all day, dampening the spirits of the Hope-Change equines and canines, but not those of the humans who are still buoyant following what can only be described as a hugely successful Conference by anyone's standards. The appearance of Bono before Cameron's speech was, admittedly, rather odd in a most alarming way, and Chris Grayling is going to be a bit more cagey on camera for a little while, but one can't have everything, and indeed these were just small blips on a week that has left our young hearts verily running free, though our champagne glasses do not overfloweth.

It was also fantastic to see so many old friends, Tory Bear himself obviously included, and make a few new ones along the way. The Leeds CFers have apparently become huge Hermione fans this week – and can certainly count on a bit of help with their vital campaigns in that end of the country. At the very least I shall most certainly be assisting with the effort to get Balls out for a Tenner - just as soon as the damned European Parliament get on with paying me properly. Lucky, perhaps, that I don't have to declare any donations, with a name like that.

It is of course an absolute tragedy that the Irish felt compelled to change their minds on Lisbon at the end of last week. Disgraceful attempt by the Beeb and friends to draw us all on the Europe question, but our refusal to do so shows less that we have been whipped effectively, more that we're fully behind the new group, the European leadership, and Dave's plans going forward on this one. I hear also that Vaclav Klaus has come up with a lovely little method for delaying Czech ratification until we can have our election – he's asked for an addition to the text. As the Europeans adore both talk and due process, this should tie things up nicely for quite some time, buying us precious months in which we can hopefully turf this awful government out.

One of the oddities about the European Parliament – and I would love to know whether it's similar in Westminster – is that it's entirely possible to work there without knowing very many of the MEPs even within our delegation; you simply never see them. Hence a rather embarrassing moment for two female assistants on Monday night: as we girls are wont to do, they got chatting to an older lady in the toilets, just outside the European reception in the Midland. Eventually she asked them 'are you going to the European reception?' They replied that they were, and asked if she was too – she was. Knowing that it was invitation only and that she must therefore have some connection to Europe, they asked 'Oh? What do you do?” Unfortunately the reply was “I'm an MEP.” Cue aghast faces, followed by “You don't know who I am, do you? But I know you.” Cue even more aghast faces. One of them tells me that, as the only two female MEPs she doesn't know by sight are Kay Swinburne and Vicky Ford, and figuring it therefore to be a 50/50 situation, she tried to save the conversation by saying matter-of factly “Kay Swinburne”. “No”, said the lady, “I'm Julie Girling”. Makes sense – Kay Swinburne has a Welsh accent.

Still, it could have been rather worse, and was for Roger Helmer. Luckily he's quite used to being the comic character of the group so can probably shrug off this little incident, but he and his assistant were walking out of the secure area just as D.C. was walking in. “Hi Roger!” said Dave brightly “Mmhmm” replied Roger, in a rather dismissive manner. He took three more steps, turned to his assistant and asked “Was that- ?” “Yes”, she replied. “That was David Cameron.” She wouldn't be Rogers first assistant to sigh slightly wearily at times.

Good work by a certain blue bear to get the party started with karaoke on Monday night. What a shame Pickles didn't grace the scene, as it seems he's quite a singer, but I shall leave it to TB to colour that particular picture. I will say, though, that the youth wing of the party seemed very much to be alive and well this week; for once I wasn't the youngest person in the room at a Conservative event by more than 40 years. Youthful looks were definitely on our side during Dave's speech too – securing me a seat on the floor. Nice to know the party value us for something, even if it is to make the party look better. Still baffled by Boneo, though.

And what a speech it was. I shall let the critics and the journalists tear it apart, and of course history will judge it in time no matter what we say today or tomorrow. There is no doubt that there was a vibrant mood in Manchester this year; enthusiasm but not egotism; confidence but not cockiness. Dave's speech rounded it off nicely. For those of us who had just sat through four days of (very uplifting) discussion of policy, Cameron's philosophy heavy speech did the trick nicely. I'll be honest, I may well have had a tear in my eye at one or two points, but don't tell anyone, will you?

Another day or two of respite in Britain, lapping up Strictly whilst I have the chance, then back, from Conference Bubble to the Brussels one. Not looking forward to facing the federalists on their home turf, but at least back home, with Dave firmly at the helm, things can only get better.

TB is still cracking up Helmer's accidental snub to DC. Vintage.

Nobel Rage Prize

Was it really a surprise? Well, yes, the Nobel Peace Prize lost all credibility when it was given to Gorbachev over Ronald Reagan, to Al Gore as a consolation prize. However TB isn't sure anyone had thought it had sunk this low. Let us get a couple of things straight. Obama spouted off a few times on the campaign trail about diplomacy before happily continuing to bomb Pakistan as well as oversee god knows how many covert operations the American government is running. Don't get TB wrong with that statement.

To have him nominated for this badge is as laughable as it is pathetic. Nominations closed within weeks of him becoming Commander in Chief of the forces of the world's most rapidly declining, and thus aggressively cornered super-power. How can a man be awarded for his understanding of peaceful solutions when he can equate the IDF and Hamas on the same moral standing. It's a real shame that the Peace Prize will never, ever, again be taken seriously again. Register your upset

here

.

The warning signs were always there though, they did give it to Arafat.

Elvis Lives!

And he's a big advocate for lower taxes these days.

The

TPA

's Mark Wallace, a true karaoke king.

Photo

Nick Pickles

Singing for Change

Karaoke photos are starting to appear as people get home from Conference. Already some classics of TV's Shane Greer and ConHome's Jonathon Isaby just appeared on the

Total Politics website

:

Nick Pickles

, PPC and photographer extraordinaire was snapping away all evening so TB imagines he will have a few more classics.

Lazy Hyena

has a couple. TB was sure people were filming on phones too. Oh dear.

Watch this space...

PS. Just heard some hilarious wicked whispers. Heard the ones about the parliamentary researchers, the threesome and the CCTV? No TB hadn't yet either...

SB keeps good company!

There's Dave, Vaizey, Boris, little Nick Clegg and even Sister Bear discussing poetry heroes

here

.

She's more and more plugged in than TB by the day!

Quote of the Conference

"I did not have sex with Derek Draper."

-James Macintyre, New Statesman Political Correspondent

Conference Cold

It has been said before that the less clothes you wear in CCHQ the more important you are. Ranging from suits and ties at the bottom rungs to Steven Hilton's casual black t-shirt and jeans look. A new pecking order has been established at conference though - Dave Flu. As Manchester '09 progressed more and more senior staff were apparently going down with conference lurgy, with Dave himself not 100%. The more ill you were the more obvious the contact you had with the big players.

TB is laid up this morning with a combination of wine-flu and a streaming cold. Can't be said he fits in to the contact with the big players category. More getting caught out without an umbrella at 4am almost every evening. Conference was a blast and was great to meet so many readers and even put faces to a couple of previously unknown sources. Bit of a detox required.

He's sorting his life out today but will get plenty more gossip out of the bubble as it comes back to him.

Exclusive: What did Dave Say to Sam Cam?

After a blinder of a speech, an optimistic, passionate Reaganite call to arms, Dave and Sam Cam graced the stage. Cameron’s mic was killed in the main hall but not on the all the telly feeds.

Dave: “I’m coming to get you,

are you alright?

Kiss

There’s your dad and my brother up there.

Right, ok come on then lets say thank you to everyone”

They then moved into the crowd. Lots of thank you and good to see you. As well as:

“I really enjoyed giving that speech. So much of what I wanted to say.”

“Thanks for last night, Michael” to someone in the crowd,

TB wonders who that was!

A rousing end to conference. The cpc09 hashtag on Twitter soared up the rankings to number one, intensely embarrassing for Labour’s Twitter tsar Kerry McCarthy. They could barely get Gordon’s speech in the top ten. Ouch!

Right TB is off to be a talking head.

Tony Bear

TB is sure he isn't the only one with a sore head this morning. "Tony Bear" had a great one at last night's Party for Change and a standard conference last night round off in the Midland. This conference has flown by and despite the best attempts of the BBC has been a roaring success. Chris "did no get the memo" Grayling was a bit of a blip but as expected some imagery of Dave jogging is dominating the news agenda. Last day is a bit all over the place but here are some snaps from last night.

It wasn't just TB and co who have a penchant for some conference karaoke it seems. Pickles sung "Here Comes the Sun":

The Sun's already here chum!

Dunky Watch

TB mentioned Alan Duncan's less than obvious loitering around the press the other day, it seems his hard work is finally paying off.

Nottingham Conservative Future

finally gave him his moment in the limelight:

Seems Paxo was busy!

Party for Change

Don't forget to come join TB for a drink at the Party for Change tonight. He is hosting a little reception in the vip room of The Printworks at 8.30

He might even sing again...

The Guardian's John Harris...

...is an utter tool. TB has clocked him doing the rounds with his camera attempting to cut it as a lefty stitch up artist. He's no Don't Panic.

Funny that the conversations he overheard Harris having with "norms" didn't make it into the video. The cutting room floor will be littered with tory supporting answers and quotes. TB did have to smirk though that having taken the piss of Harris, well his hair, he has decided this conference season to play on it with his blog title "

Harris's Fringe

"

He even changed his profile photo!

The Bubble

The telly in TB's room is finally working! He's having a very civilised morning with a surprisingly decent coffee and Sky News. For once he was able to sleep in without missing some shameless chance for self-promotion. It was a strange one last night, lots going on but everything very hush hush. The suites at the Midland are no doubt buzzing. A stream of aides and shad cabbers were heading up to the higher floors all evening. Access denied to the bear, except one. Mum's the word.

Given last week's blinder, the News International crash was always going to be ambitious. The blonde on the door was charming but ultimately firm, at least TB wasn't so desperate that he used the "I'm Andy Coulson" line - "Oh really, why does your pass say James then?"

TB managed to get a decent sleep for the first time since about last Friday but word is reaching him that not everyone had the same idea. Three hacks, who he won't cringe by naming them, decided by 5am it would be an excellent idea to just keep drinking until the the 7.30 round of fringe events. Hannan's early morning speech was apparently worth still being trashed and turning up to as part of an seventeen hour conference bender. TB is impressed by their stamina and terrified at how keen they are!

The mood here is fantastic, no cock ups as of yet. There are journos desperate for this to go tits up and have been plying tory boys with gin and trying to get them to say stupid things. It's not that people are being deliberately on message, more that the message has the support of every level of the party. Dave is on form and has a hell of an enthusiastic bunch behind him. The Mirror's actions this morning were a disgrace. Their hacks are having a great time but should get out of journalism and head to a pr company.

"Evil Tendencies" - updated.

It was always going to be a tough gig for the New Statesman's political editor James Macintyre. Having just weeks ago smeared the Conservatives as "institutionally racist", James was doing his best to charm the crowd at their reception on Sunday night. First up Dale was cornered for a chat, but others went in for the kill. Mr denied smearing and indeed swore he hated Draper,Mcbride and even Gordon, who he claimed had "evil tendancies." What was he so adamant to deny to TB though?

Amazing how champagne can loosen the tongue eh!

Caption Contest

This gem from TV's

Shane Greer

cracked TB up:

A seat for karaoke guru and ConHome's co-editor Mr Isaby? Pah!

Over here!

Alan Duncan cuts a lonely figure as he strolls backwards and forwards across the media scrum zone between the conference venue and the hotel. TB clocked him attempting to catch BBC hacks eyes for a good ten minutes, they seemed to be more interested in chasing the Shad Cabbers for comment though.

Horrible job, who'd want to be an MP these days.

Back Hander..

The rumours are flying that

Keep Right Online

are in the pay of YBF. TB has the proof:

Wish someone would pay TB.