Saturday, 29 August 2009

A week is a long time in...

Ladies and Gentleman, TB would like to introduce a charming lady friend Hermione Hope-Change. Hermione works for an MEP and will be reporting weekly from the European Parliament. Expect gossip, rumour and saucy tales from the dark heart of Europe...

Here we are again, the start of a new term. Was at home for the summer hols so took the opportunity to pop into Smiths for a new highlighter set and some colouring pencils which are neatly installed in my stationery drawer now. Also spent Monday arranging my pictures in the new office. Darling Boris is near the door so that I can look at him but still appear to be attentive when El Boss-man sticks his head around to keep me up to date with what Hannan's been up to.

Speaking of Hannan, sweet Dan, I can't for the life of me understand why they ban Facebook in some offices. I was one of the first people to know, for example, that last month he said something about idolising Enoch Powell. And rightly so – the NHS wastes veritable rivers of blood through maladministration yearly, I'm told. Maybe I should organise a Parliamentary blood drive; show the country we're behind the health system too.

Although frankly I'm not sure I have time to take on another project. These Committees are terribly complicated, and half the time the reports are in French or even Czech. I know it's a dreadful stereotype and one mustn't subscribe to them apparently, but the French secretariat staff are so bloody rude. I swear the only work they ever do utilises an emery board. And it's not just a bias due to jealousy on our part because we don't share their sense of style – one of them actually tutted at me the other day when I pointed out that my French teacher had recently said that my accent was definitely improving.

Am rather looking forward to Prague in two weeks for the European Conservatives and Reformist Study Week trip, and not only to watch Ratty, Kirkhope, Hannan and Helmer spend a week together in the same room (what a shame McMillan-Scott won't be there – the tension between him and Kaminsky would have been electrifying). Rumour has it that Ratty really bawled out Hannan and Helmer over the whole NHS debacle though, so we may yet have some entertainment. By the way, does anyone know the Czech for 'Thank you'? Or, for that matter, 'Glass of wine, please'?

Still no word back from Cosham Conservatives. I suppose they have a whole beauty pageant of applicants to look at by now, even that darned Tamzin Lightwater got in on the act. Still, I thought I was sporting a rather winning smile in that photo. Just the sort of image Cosham needs after duckponds...

Hermione will be back next Saturday.


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