Thursday, 22 October 2009

You are selecting a candidate...

Imagine for a moment if you will, that you are on the selction panel to choose a PPC for your local seat. You are down to the final three:

Candidate A associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists, had two mistresses, he also chain smokes and drinks eight to ten martinis a day.

Candidate B has been kicked out of office twice, rises from bed at 11am, used opium in college and drinks champagne, brandy, and whiskey to excess every day.

Candidate C is a decorated war hero, vegetarian, doesn't smoke or drink, and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.

Which would you choose? TB will expand in the comments later.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've seen this one before. A is Churchill, B is Roosevelt, and C is Hitler.

Tory Dan said...

Candidate B sounds my sort of person, very Alan B'stard!

Anonymous said...

If all female (and at least a 7/10) the fittest, else Candidate C.

But then I'm shallow

Rage Against The Dying of the Light said...

Surely A is Roosevelt and B is Churchill?

Anonymous said...

Well definitely not C, veggies just can't be trusted.

Chris K
said...

A is Roosevelt and B is Churchill.

ToryBanter
said...

If B is Churchill he never was at a college as Harrow is a school. But I think your right it's him or Randolph.

Hitler was more than a veggie he was a vegan! Just shows all swampy's are evil.

I don't think Charchill would be a A-lister or even get on the candidates list as he to much of of his own man.

The King of Wrong
said...

Just about everyone would blatantly pick Candidate Hitler, but it's a somewhat biased test as it doesn't take account of how they come across as a person.

Of course, I'd never vote for a teetotaller - I just don't trust anyone who doesn't like at least an occasional drink. It's illogical, but quite primal... a nagging feeling that they want to be apart from the group and keep their defences up.

Sara Scarlett
said...

In all seriousness Candidate B.

Extramarital affairs make me sick and Candidate C sounds like an extremely dull chap.

Brian E. said...

But you've said nothing about their education or qualifications which I would consider to be amongst the most important criteria.
Logically one should go for the third candidate, but a few years ago I met a highly decorated war hero, and sorry, but he was as thick as two short planks! I am also suspicious of people who claim to be vegetarians and don't drink.
I think I'd pick the first; he's clearly politically incorrect. I have no problems with mistresses or drinking Martinis and I always read my stars in the newspaper. If he smokes, that's his problem, as long as the smoke doesn't come in my direction. And as for crooked politicians, surely all MPs associate with crocked politicians simply due to the fact that that they are in the House of Commons!

Conand
said...

A is stated as being male. So in the interest of balance I have to rule him out.

Anonymous said...

C sounds like an utter tede - would fit in well with those currently being selected.

B wins - as others have noted, its Churchill.

Frank Davis
said...

Candidate B any time.

Anonymous said...

C sounds like a sanctimonious shit.

Though being a war hero is in his favour.

[btw, if you are doing Churchill/Roosvelt/Stalin, Churchill was also a war hero - and in no fewer than 4 wars!

And frankly Churchill is overrated and Roosevelt was a shit too.]

Anonymous said...

You left out candidate D - attended a seminary, I believe...

Think This
said...

It was pretty obvious who they all were....

SA said...

Sorry, TB, in copying and pasting this old chestnut, you've also repeated some old left-wing myths about Churchill which are untrue.

He NEVER took opium at Harrow, or at any other time, this is simply untrue - it's based on the admission of his Harrow contemporary Leo Amery that he took opium at Harrow, and a 1950s Labour journalist speculated that maybe his Churchill had at the time. There's no credible evidence for it, and it's highly unlikely.

As for the getting up at 11am point, that's a myth too. Churchill's daily routine seldom varied between the 1900s and the 1950s. He would get up at 8am, take a one-hour nap between 4pm and 5pm, and then go to bed anytime between 1am and 3am.

His alcohol consumption was often exaggerated - mainly by himself - and the main source accusing him of heavy drinking is the 1987 biography 'Churchill's War: Volume I', by that reputable historian David Irving.

Oh, and Hitler liked to claim he was a vegetarian, but privatey ate meat from time to time - check out Ian Kershaw's definitive two-volume Hitler biography.

Hard cheese, TB

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