How Low Will Alastair Campbell Fall?

It’s a new low in terms of hypocrisy and barefaced lies when Alastair Campbell

has a go at the media

for giving Cameron an easy ride. He says the media are being mean to Gordon Brown and won’t ask Dave about drugs. Which leads to TB to wonder if Campbell is back on the sauce? He cannot be serious.

This is coming from the man whose ruthless stance as media Pied Piper drove a man to suicide. But hey! You know, some diaries here, a “v-log” there and he’s everyone’s favourite insta-pundit now. How can Campbell dare suggest that the media are going too hard on Gordon when he devoted years in opposition to systematically trashing Major’s reputation and undermining him at every turn, something his credibility as a politician has taken more than a decade to recover from.

And the media going soft on Cameron? Oh please, he has been tried and tested and has passed the test. Accept that people want him to lead; the media know Brown is on the way out, they know he is useless and frankly they know he is toast. Was it any different when Campbell was harassing hacks, making and breaking careers, dominating the tabloids? No of course it wasn’t. Blair didn’t get his early holier-than-though, check me out, nice guy image by accident did he! Just this week Campbell admitted to a group of students at Glasgow University that the only flaw in the Malcolm Tucker portrayal of him was the fact he didn’t swear as much, so forgive TB if he calls this bullshit out in no uncertain terms.

The entire rant by Campbell smacks of desperation, smacks of bitter resentment that his mortal enemies have learnt from his mistakes and he is clearly finding it hard to accept that frankly some new kids came along who are better than him.

Time to go back to the porno novels mate.

See What You Can Do

TB went to the Millennium Dome for the first time last night, or to give it its correct name, the 02 arena. He had a fantastic time and it is a stunning venue, not only for the facilities, interior, ease of access etc,

but as tweeted at the time

, on a deeper level too. The building is the perfect physical embodiment of the Labour Party's decade of destruction in office. Like New Labour, it was a hollow shambolic shell that was built first, and then it was decided what would fill it. The glossy exterior was in fact a poor veneer that failed to hide what a spectacular vacuous failure it was while it was run by the state. It was spun, promoted, twisted but ultimately failed.

Then they sold it off to a private company, introduced market forces - there is now a thriving almost high street like array of bars and restaurants, each competing with one another and seemingly doing a roaring trade. A little bit of freedom from the state and an escape from sheer incompetence on the part of the government and suddenly, almost over night the building is a success.

There's a lesson there somewhere.

A Woman's Right to Choos

Sister Bear's

latest column

for the Evening Standard is sure to set the tin-foil hat brigade (they know who they are,) right off. Will they be able to handle the fact that she quotes Nadine Dorries? Dear lord, it must be further proof of the big right-wing conspiracy:

"Unwittingly I had strayed into a war zone: this week the TUC said it would like to see heels, which it terms “sexist” and “inappropriate”, outlawed in the workplace. Suddenly I'd been elevated not just by a key few inches but to the status of an activist.

As though her Louboutins were about to be impounded, Tory MP Nadine Dorries raged in the blogosphere: “I feel like a lone voice speaking out for every woman … Don't worry, girls. I will not give up on this. The unions will not have their way and defeminise us.”

There is something irresistible in the idea that one of the final acts of Brown-era dreariness could be the banning of heels."

All those rants by TB seem to have paid off!

He keeps telling SB to start her own blog...

Jonah strikes again:

The poor little dude from Diversity falls foul of the curse of Gordon Brown..



Looks extremely painful and made all the worse by the cuddle from Balls Brown and Mandy afterwards.

Poor kid.

H/T -

Comrade Blaney

What's Pickles fishing for?

Intriguing nugget from in Hansard from yesterday:

[291215]

Mr. Pickles: To ask the Minister for the Cabinet Office what payments Ms Polly Toynbee has received from her Department in the last five years; and for what purposes.

Angela E. Smith: There is no record in the Department’s accounting system of any payments made to Ms Toynbee over the last five years.

[291000]

Mr. Pickles: To ask the Minister for Women and Equality what payments (a) the Government Equalities Office and (b) the Equality and Human Rights Commission have made to Ms Polly Toynbee; and for what purposes.

Maria Eagle: The Government Equalities Office and the Equality and Human Rights Commission have made no payments to Polly Toynbee.

Polly on the payroll wouldn't really be a surprise though.

Another day...

...and another

shameful Labour blunder

. The stench of decay surrounding this entire government is becoming unbearable. Not a day passes without a lie exposed, dishonest tactics highlighted, or on this case pure incompetence blown wide open for all to see.

Newspapers should never ever be able to run this sentence:

"The minister in charge of prosecuting criminals has been employing an illegal immigrant."

It gets worse:

"Lady Scotland could theoretically be prosecuted under laws that she is paid to enforce.

Even unknowingly employing an illegal is still an offence, punishable by a £10,000 fine, under legislation that she helped steer through Parliament as a Home Office minister in 2006."

Cue flying Nokia.

He Lied and Lied and Lied

And his party went a long with him...

Given that we now know the truth about the fact Labour had been planning 10% cuts, sorry 9.3% cuts, all along this camapaign, which was crap at the time, looks even more pathetic now:

Let's see how long before it disappears off the Labour website.

UPDATE 2300: Seems Labourlist, to their credit, have been

dissing

this campaign

for months.

Shame their leader has his head in the sand.

Was it Darling?

"We have never seen this level of detail on a budget situation before." -

Channel 4

"Officials are far from happy about the Tories getting hold of confidential documents, and they haven't ruled out calling in the police" -

Guardian

There seems to be an air of astonishment about the Tories game-changing coup in getting hold of the most sensitive of sensitive Treasury documents. Some are arguing that it is proof that Osborne's famed mystical Treasury mole is alive and well. TB spoke to a friend earlier who used to work in the Treasury and he assured him that the ability to copy, not necessarily see, but copy a document like that was limited to a small amount of extremely senior people. Something about this document is different. This is by far the most significant leak yet and way beyond anything the Tories have been able to get their hands on thus far.

Darling really has had the raw end of the deal in the last two years, having had to pick up the pieces of his predecessors criminal economic hokery pokery. He stood his ground after an attempt to move him and is getting bolder and bolder by the day. It was well reported that he was against the lines that Gordon was using about Tory cuts vs Labour investments, no doubt because he had actually read this document. It has been speculated on before that Darling could be the one to eventually bring down the nutter next door...

Could this be the first stirrings of a plot to destabilise the Prime Minister in the run up to Labour Conference?

Prove he is a liar. Tick.

What's next?

Are Muse tories?

TB has been checking out the new Muse album. The band that were a stable part of his teenage years are back with more of what they do best. However the timing and words to their latest single, plus

this article

from

The Alternative Conservative

got TB thinking...



Another promise, another scene, another
A package not to keep us trapped in greed
With all the green belts wrapped around our minds
And endless red tape to keep the truth confined

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

Rise up and take the power back, it's time that
The fat cats had a heart attack, you know that
Their time is coming to an end
We have to unify and watch our flag ascend

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

Very sound.

Liberal Youth Attempt Brewery Event

TB has eyes and ears everywhere and was particularly amused to hear from a certain northern lass about the Northumbria University Freshers Fair. Seems the cosy consensus between Lib Dems and hardcore socialist is dead:

"Just saw chairman of lib youth fall through a table while standing next to a member of the socialist workers. Was he pushed, did he fall? Very funny to watch him thrash about!"

A suitable image for the whole organisation really. Bet that got loads of members signed up. Word reaches Tory Bear that Liberal Youth are "Carbon Offsetting" this year's freshers fairs. FFS. We all know what good that

nonsense

does. What a pathetic stunt.

They just can't stop wasting money.

Good riddance.

Once again Cameron is at his best when he is at

his boldest

.

So long Eddie.

You 'avin a larf?

TB gets many requests for replicas of his fine self to be made available to his avid (!?) fans. Out of sheer curiosity in the run up to conference he decided to check out some merchandise sites on t'web. When he found a specialty bear site he asked for sample of their wares. They sent him this:

They're taking the piss right?

Talking of Lehman connections...

Political Scrapbook

, a lefty gossip mill, is trailing a story this afternoon of some donations from people who used to work at Lehman Brothers to the Conservative Party. All very interesting. However Labour should really check that their own house is in order before turning their attacks on Tory connections to Lehman. It's been awhile since anyone has had a go at Paul Myners, but they started it...

The Financial Services Secretary Lord Myners was the man who signed off Fred Goodwin's pension, much to the disgust of Labour grassroots. He was also

ironically

Chairman of the Low Pay Commission. Ha. If we are going to have a go about political connections to Lehman, let's start here. In June 2007 Myners joined the board of GLG Partners, a hedgefund

fined three times

for insider trading.

And who are GLG Partners exactly? Well lets just say that their four founders

all worked at Lehman

and the failed investment bank used to own a 20% share in the company. One thing having donations from staff of an organisation, quite another having a government official on the teet. Myners relationship with Northern Rock also makes for

an interesting read

.

Nuff said.

Quote of the Day

Well it was

actually from yesterday

but still hilarious none-the less:

Well, I've never been someone who myself has been interested in running up personal debts or borrowing huge amounts of money.

-The Rt Hon right on Gordon Brown MP

Caption Contest:

Gordon seems to have

woken up

to the need for cuts finally. Unlike Mandy it seems he might be actually able to say the word. TB has obtained this exclusive image of him practicising for his big speech to the TUC later today:

Do your worst... prize for a genuine laugh out loud.

Conference Karaoke and Drinks

After the roaring success of TB's conference party last year, this time he thought he would try something a little different:

UPDATE: seems that TB's paypal is cocking up. Working on it. In the mean time ummm get excited.

Get your advanced ticket for just a fiver - which gives you the chance to reserve songs. Special guests including MPs, bloggers, CCHQ staff and MEPs have already been confirmed. Some very unlikely faces too! Don't miss out, space is pretty limited so TB recommends you reserve your ticket now.

For various reasons that will make the evening more relaxed, TB won't be revealing the location of the party until nearer the time. It is however close to the conference venue and will let us stay until the wee hours.

That's Monday, on Wednesday TB will be hosting a drinks reception for bloggers, tweeters and anyone else who fancies it in the VIP room of the

Party for Change

. These warm up drinks will run from 7.30 until 9pm and means you will miss the queues for the main event. If you would like to come along to this then please do drop him an email and he will pop you on the list.

Looking forward to seeing some familiar faces and lots of new ones on both Monday and Wednesday of conference.

Mandelson - Yesterday's Man

He has been brought down by dodgy mortgages, lies and sleaze yet managed to bounce back, but there is finally a weapon to bring Lord Mandelson down for good.

It's called Google.

TB couldn't work out why the hell Mandelson thought he could get away

with his dig at Nick Robinson

this morning. He tried to embarrass the BBC's Political Editor but this backfired spectacularly when within ten minutes Robinson came back on air to quote Hansard at Mandy leaving him utterly humiliated. Mandelson can't have realised Robinson would be able to do this that quickly and get back to him by the end of the interview slot.

This aside, Mandy's performance on Today was vintage. He dominated, didn't answer a single question and even managed to discuss Labour cuts without saying the C word. However he is clearly living in the past. There was a time when Mandelson and Campbell had the press by the balls and were able to spout lies and not strictly accurate one liners, knowing full well that if the hacks wanted to keep their access they wouldn't question it.

All very Tucker.

However those days are gone and it seems Mandelson hasn't yet knelt at the alter of Google. He hasn't yet realised that his bullshit will be called out instantly. People have information at their fingertips and are not afraid to use it. Mandelson isn't stupid. He knows full well that the Labour investment/Tory cuts line was tried and it failed, so his blatant attempt at rewriting history was not from memory lapse.

His game is up.

The Right to Bear Arms

Tom Harris MP

isn't too keen

on the idea of Americanising British politics. His ever vigilant right of centre commenters have jumped on this with an Monday morning

history lesson

. As ever these sort of arguments can be cleared up with a clip from Family Guy:



Nah just kidding, they were way sounder than that.

Back away from TB's paws though.

Three Words Cameron Must Say to the Unions

TB tends to let PT's

cartoons

speak for themselves, but this one hit a nerve. It has become clear that the TUC

have met

with Cameron twice in as many months. At their conference this weekend they have been spreading lies and fear in order to try get Brown to dance to their tune. Not only have these anti-democratic bully boys issued veiled threats to Labour about cutting funding, they have also, rather desperately,

threatened

a future Conservative government with the prospect of riots and organised civil disobedience. They can destroy Labour at the purse strings but they have nothing on the blues.

Britain has moved on from the days when it was strangled by the tyranny of the minority. The unions no longer have power over the government. If they want to resort to violence, let them. Retribution must be swift and quick. Zero tolerance.

The Conservatives have fought and won against the unions before over government spending and we will win again. They cannot be allowed to once again gain credibility and power over government decisions on the back of threats. Cameron must have three simple words for them...

Bring it on.

National Cupcake Week

"Cupcakes are a decadent, affordable, small piece of luxury, offering instant gratification in these dark and depressing times."

According to

The Independent

, the cup-cake industy is now worth £7.3 million. They are very much in vogue. Mummy Bear has been saying it was going to happen for years:

There was only one way to celebrate the first day of National Cupcake Week tomorrow.