A Wonderful Piece of Fan Mail

TB features in this week's

GuyNews

episode:



You can get a new episode every Monday, or on Friday's by joining the mailing list

here

. One particular reader who received his Guidogram on Friday wasn't very happy. The passion of this hatred has seriously impressed Tory Bear and has fired him up even more to do what he loves doing... winding people up. He especially loves how the anonymous hater presumes TB wants to be a politician:

He must be doing something right.

Over TB's Dead Body

You couldn't

make it up

:

The nation’s sleeping arrangements are to come under scrutiny in the next countrywide census, it has emerged.

The 2011 survey will include questions on the number of bedrooms in a person’s home, as well as the name, sex and birth-date of any overnight visitors.

Nick Hurd, the Shadow Cabinet Office Minister, yesterday called it a “snooper” census, hitting out at “invasive and intrusive” new demands."

“Just because the Government has the legal powers to ask these questions does not give the State the licence to ask anything they want.

“These bedroom snoopers are yet another sign of how the Labour Government has no respect for the privacy of law-abiding citizens.”

Good on Hurd, but TB doesn't think he has gone far enough in slamming this obscene invasion of privacy. What the hell is going on? Since when was in within the mandate of the state to know what we get up to behind closed doors? Who comes and goes through TB's home is strictly the business of him and his guests, there's not a hope in hell of him volunteering this information.

Now don't get TB wrong, he knows how useful census data can be in tracing long lost connections and has no problem volunteering his name and address for this, and only this purpose, however a line has very very much been crossed here. For a government to feel it is necessary to track relationships between it's citizens is mind boggling, what possible use could this data be?

Are they building a National Spare Room Database, as Ollie in the Thick of It once suggests for a bit of policy on the hoof? Perhaps it's a database of prolific shaggers, the National Fornication Files? Or is it something more sinister than that? TB will be putting a line through this section of the census if it is passed by MPs and suggests that you all do so also.

They can't fine us all.

That Depression Gaffe

TB was most amused when he read on his blackberry yesterday about the PM's podcast about fighting the economic depression. He was fairly certain that if he had been at a computer he would have been able to find something amusing there. As the Telegraph

reported

this morning there was indeed a bit of a cockup though they didn't include the picture. Luckily for us all though, the ever eagle-eyed

Red Rag

did:

No surprise that the order came from very high up to have this pulled. It's as if they are trying to give us opportunities to take the piss...

Idiots.

The End of Hermione H-C

It is with great sadness that TB has to announce that this will be Hermione's last posting from the heart of darkness. The powers that be eh...

Another week, another Strasbourg. I was in England last weekend too, so no time to go to the dry cleaners; this is getting stressful! Suddenly I have newfound respect for all those vacuous stars in Hello! - it must be quite trying, constantly living out of a suitcase. Maybe they're worth their outrageous salaries after all... then again, maybe not. I could buy Rococo a dozen rugs for the price of one of their dresses – BUT, I digress. Straz weeks are, by their very nature, much faster paced and therefore more exciting than Brussels weeks. Plenary happens, so there's the interest generated by the votes. Lunches and dinners are often social affairs and offer opportunities to really talk shop – as everyone is staying in a hotel, there's incentive to eat out. I suppose there is an element of novelty too, and then there's the fact that the offices are smaller – assistants and MEPs sharing the one room, which gives a less formal, more 'communal' feel. You often see groups of MEPs in one office merrily chatting away about some point or other, which just doesn't seem to happen very often in Brussels. I might add here that whoever designed the buildings in Strasbourg was an evil genius. It's hard to do justice to the layout in a purely descriptive way, but if I say 'imagine one of those Escher pictures with the impossible stairs', you'll get the idea.

Anyway, last weekend all of us in the anti-federalist camp were rather deflated by reports that suggested Klaus would be signing the Lisbon Treaty within a fortnight or so. It all seemed so bleakly final. Little wonder, then, that any rumours that it was not so (and there were many) were flying around throughout the corridors and lifts like something out of Harry Potter. Could Cameron really be in extended talks with those in Prague Palace? Could that shiny red retro phone sitting on Hannan's desk really be a hotline to the man himself? Could the 'train that has gone too far' really be stopped and put into reverse? Time only will tell. Call me the eternal optimist, but I'm holding on to the betting slip I bought in Dan's latest sweepstake (honestly, that boy should have been a bookie), that says he'll not ratify before the election... That may well prove be two euros badly spent, mind...

Events in the Hemicycle are always talked up as being utterly gripping when the reality is often somewhat different (albeit that the voting is astonishing in it's sheer pace pace). But this week those flowery epithets were well deserved when the left tried to force through a declaration denouncing the Italian Press as corrupt. As it happened, I dined on Wednesday night at a charming Indian restaurant with a few Italian friends who were understandably livid. We had to cool them down by feeding them raita (which they'd never heard of. Apparently they don't really 'do' Indian food in Italy). I sadly missed the event itself but it seems to have been nail biting stuff. First came the detailed votes which the left kept winning, often by a majority of only 10 – 20 or so. By the time they drew to an end those on the left were unable to contain their glee, verily bouncing around in their seats, clapping and cheering. How uncouth. However, the groups had gone for, as one chap later put it to me, 'nuclear options' – all or nothing votes. Five lefty liberal groups = five more votes. Not everyone in the Hemicycle appeared to know this; some on the right disappeared at that point thinking the voting over. Nonetheless, curiously, one by one these nuclear options were defeated, albeit with slim majorities. One, two, three, four, all fell by ever decreasing majorities, until only the ALDE challenge remained. Ukip accidentally abstained. Others had not voted. The count came in. 338 / 338 – the motion fell, the 'No's had it, and the right was victorious. Later that evening, I introduced the Italians to the delights of Indian food, and we celebrated with poppadums and beer.

Sadly, as I draw to the end of this blog post, I must step out from behind the laptop, shake off the mantle of Hermione, and speak as myself. This week has been rather dramatic for many reasons – Lisbon, Italians... and on a more personal note, this blog. It has come to my attention that friends of mine have been warned to distance themselves from me for fear of 'being tainted'. I am always happy to take full responsibility for my own actions, but I draw the line at asking others to shoulder a burden of responsibility that is not their own.

When I first came to Brussels I knew almost nothing about the European Institutions. I had a vague notion that a Parliament existed, but I couldn't tell you how many MEPs represented the South East (my region), let alone name any of them. To me, Europe was 'that issue that the Tories used to argue over, but has been largelyresolved by now'. So, although this blog, when pitched to me, was intended as a sort of 'gossip from the front line' of the European Parliament, I have in fact been attempting to use it to make the European Parliament just that little bit more accessible. By bringing a bit of light banter to proceedings, I'd hoped to turn names and pictures on a website into personalities, with all their quirks and foibles. Unfortunately, that is not the spirit in which some people in the Parliament have read this blog, and so for that reason, and with great regret, I must draw it to a close. But I have enjoyed writing it, and so I shall return to my hitherto rather neglected own blog (I do hope Tory Bear won't grudge me a quick mention!)

donnaedmunds.blogspot.com

, and do hope you'll take a look every now and then. Just not in the next few days – I'm going to be in Israel.

A bientôt! (Did you hear that accent? My dishy tutor Phillippe would be so proud!)

Donna.

Yes Please

If anyone fancies buying Tory Bear a present then how about the wireless Blackberry

charger

? He has no idea how it works,

this article

is less than specific, but it sounds like it could be an incredibly useful bit of kit:

Or maybe something he'd use once or twice and get bored off like most other gadgets. Either way it is exciting that the technology is improving.

One day his battery will last forever, one day.

Miliband Cursed

Cheers Klaus

TB is increasingly confident that Czech President Václav Klaus might just be able to pull

this

one off:

In a submission to the Czech Constitutional Court, which will decide tomorrow whether the treaty is compatible with the country’s constitution, Mr Klaus has suggested that it should be subject to a referendum.

The President, who is the only head of state yet to sign the treaty, attacked the EU notion of “shared sovereignty” as a contradiction that effectively means a loss of national control.

President Klaus made his written statement in support of a case against the treaty brought by 17 Czech senators, who have asked judges to rule that the agreement is unconstitutional because it transfers powers to Brussels. He also asked for a ruling on whether the treaty changed the terms of the Czech Republic’s accession to the EU in 2004 so significantly that a new referendum should be ordered.

The next beers are on the UK if he can.

Come on Czechs - do the right thing.

Quote of the Weekend

"I love being a libertarian, it's so much more fun than Islam."

-An anonymous Muslim delegate.

It's Back...

If you missed it last night make sure you catch the first episode of the new season of the Thick of It while it is

still on iplayer

. Can you see why TB was smirking now?

It is brilliant.

YBF6

Having a great time at Wellington College with the YBFers, follow TB's tweets here, or on the right hand side. Michael Forsyth's speech last night was excellent and congratulations to Emma Carr, this year's winner of the Eric Forth Award for Activism. Emma has done a wonderful job in the North East region and was quite the media darling of conference. Definitely one to keep an eye on.

Off to listen to Hannan, blogging will be light but follow TB's tweets

here

, or on the right hand side.

What is Power?

"You know, power is an interesting thing. I used to think political power was going to a political dinner. And then I thought political power was helping to put on a political dinner. And then I thought it was being invited to stay at the candidate's hotel in convention city. And then I used to stand in the hall outside of Sam Rayburn's suite at the political convention, and I thought that was something. And then I got to go into the living room of the candidate's suite, and I thought that was something. And then I found out there that all the decisions were made in the back in the bedroom. And finally, I was invited in the bedroom with the last eight or ten fellas, and then I knew I was on the inside -until I finally learned that they stepped into the john. In the end, just me and Jimmy Carter and Hamilton Jordan made the final decision in the john."

Robert Strauss
1972-1977 - Democratic National Committee Chairman,
1980 - Chairman of Jimmy Carter's Re-election Campaign

Dr Strange Eye

More

here

.

Busy Bear Berkshire Bound

Blogging hasn't exactly been top notch in the last few days and is only going to get worse as TB is off to Berkshire for the sixth annual

Young Britons' Foundation

Conference. He will be a busy bear for a couple of days, but fingers crossed he will find some time to keep the stories coming. Imagine there will be some gossip too. Oh and wish him luck for tonight.

Ta-ra for now.

Very Sound Video

CFTV

is really warming up:



Also that music is very familier. Any clues?

Quote of the Day

"He was nervous, trembling, acting with exaggerated gestures, grinning at inappropriate moments and at times incoherent."

-

Iain Dale

discussing Nick Griffin.

Errrh remind you of

anyone

?

#bbcqt Live Chat - Nick Griffin Edition

TB is not responsible for any views expressed here other than his own contributions.

Oh and Mods are Gods.

A Scene You Will Never See

You are selecting a candidate...

Imagine for a moment if you will, that you are on the selction panel to choose a PPC for your local seat. You are down to the final three:

Candidate A associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists, had two mistresses, he also chain smokes and drinks eight to ten martinis a day.

Candidate B has been kicked out of office twice, rises from bed at 11am, used opium in college and drinks champagne, brandy, and whiskey to excess every day.

Candidate C is a decorated war hero, vegetarian, doesn't smoke or drink, and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.

Which would you choose? TB will expand in the comments later.

Today and Tonight

TB is all over the place today sorting out his life, he will however be back tonight and hosting a Live Question Time Chat from 10.30. Come join for the shouting, the hysteria, the laughter, the tears, the fascists and the BNP.

Prediction: Griffin is going to look like the utter plank he is and the "Anti" Fascist authoritarian thugs will do their cause no favour. Also money says we will see this man.

Looking forward to hosting the fun and games tonight. You will be able to sync your twitter account to the chat room, if TB can make that work. Also email him if you fancy moderating.

Bring some beers.

He Was the Future Once

Via the excellent

Tory Politico