Another Labour President in Drunken Nightclub Assault

In what seems like years since university, TB always does chuckle when news reaches him of old faces and red hacks.

Thomas Graham

is President of the Edinburgh University Student's Association. He is also a Labour Party pole climber and holds office in Labour Students. Hilariously with his recruiter hat on he once tried to get TB to join Unite. Like so many in careerists who would not be able to survive in the real world, Graham now has his eyes set on an role within the National Union of Students. His chances of election next month took a big hit last night though.

Despite the fact Graham and his other sabbatical Vice-Presidents have just announced a restructuring of the students association model, with inevitable redundancies, nobody was expecting a tired and emotional President to start swinging the axe in the later part of Saturday night.

A paralytic Graham was escorted out of the student run Potterow venue last night by bouncers who found him behaving aggressively and very, very drunk. Instead of taking it on the chin and getting in a cab he decided to throw his weight around a bit. Not only did he declare, at the top of his voice repeatedly, that the bouncers in question would be fired on Monday morning, reports that he assaulted a fellow student are being investigated. Not only an embarrassment, Graham has completely abused his posistion and made himself a laughing stock. Needless to say the bouncers who were doing what they are paid to do are safe in their jobs. Things aren't looking good for the wayward President though.

Labour hacks have a track record of this sort of thing. Nottingham's Labour President was lucky to get away with head-butting someone outside a club, and who could forget when Manchester Labour's poster girl Grace Fletcher-Hackwood punched a student, while elected to a role responsible for "student welfare". She had to

resign

her sabbatical position at York. TB can see little reason why the precedent set in York isn't applied to this situation.


If he does end up going and loses out at the NUS elections, it sounds like Thomas Graham would be most at home with the rest of the thugs at Unite.

Guy News

"Maggie's"

An intriguing spot in the Standard

diary

. This sounds like a laugh:

Nightclub entrepreneurs Charlie Gilkes and Duncan Stirling are soon to launch Maggie’s, a new Eighties-inspired club in Chelsea, in honour of Lady Thatcher. David Cameron may be reluctant to embrace Thatcherism but London’s hip and trendy young things certainly aren’t.

The club, on Fulham Road, will pay homage to the decade of kitsch, and Lady Thatcher, who lives within walking distance, has been invited to the opening night next month.
Lucky club-goers will hear famous speeches from the Iron Lady playing in the loos.

Thatcher memorabilia will vie for space on the walls, along with such paraphernalia as A Team action men and A-ha platinum discs. Timmy Mallet, John McEnroe and Bananarama will be depicted in a giant mural.

It will apparently be open in time for the election, but more importantly, will it be in time for TB's birthday?

UPDATE: Check out the

website

:

Cheers Gordon

Via 

Iain Dale.

Tweet o'the Day

Looks like TB jumped the gun there. Andrew Rawnsley's scathing

put down

of Kerry McCarthy would have qualified for QotD:

Brilliant.

Quote of the Day

"“Ban Mephedrone!” urge cocaine and ecstasy dealers"

-

ASI blog

Guy News Preview

It was a long night in the Guy News edit suite, but check out TB's musical finale:



Rest of the episode out later to

subscribers

.

Another Charlie Chump Moment

Another long day and probably an evening in the Guy News edit suite but what a great spot by

the Fink

:

In yesterday's 

interview with Will Straw

, Charlie Whelan appears to have given up being a spin doctor and a political organiser and become, instead, a pollster.

He claims that it is not true that a third of Unite members are planning to vote Conservative because his own survey showed it was only about 8 per cent. It never occurs to him to wonder if their might be an interviewer bias in answers to a survey conducted by his own officials.

He describes the contrary evidence as:

Some Tory paper did a bogus poll of Unite members

But the poll was actually a 

balanced and representative survey

 of 1,023 members of the union conducted by Populus last year.

So presumably every poll that shows the Labour resurgence can be dismissed as bogus eh Charlie boy?

Quote of the Day

"As someone who grew up in the Communist Party, I’m pretty disciplined."

-Whelan tells

Will Straw

He Just Can't Stop

There is no love lost between Mandy and Whelan. Ever the socialist, when Mandy resigned, Whelan cracked out the champagne in the Red Lion. Given the election is just weeks away though, you would think Whelan might bite his tongue before briefing bloggers who are on the payroll about his old foe. Whelan has accused Mandelson of "getting upset" and "getting out of the pram" in an interview to

Left Foot Forward

.


Such unity at the heart of the bunker!

Write the Theme Tune, Sing the Theme Tune

Talking campaign tunes:



Vote Lib Dem or the strangled dogs get it.

And of course...

No discussion about drugs policy is complete without some cake:

Claws Out for Miaow

Once the laughter at watching politicians trying to say "miaow miaow" with a straight face subsided, this morning's news becomes less funny. Both the government and Grayling have come down heavily on the currently legal drug mephadrone. Following the sad death of two teenagers, who were reportedly mixing the drug with heavy drinking, both parties have promised to ban a substance they openly admitted they had only just heard of today.

The Tories had the chance to redeem themselves for their science-denying backing of the government over the sacking of Professor Nutt, but have fallen back into old authoritarian ways. Incidentally Nutt acknowledges these new designer drugs cant be stopped and should instead be produced to pharmaceutical quality for peoples safety.

Given they knew nothing of something this morning, the fact the government could move so quickly and so determinedly is quite chilling. What ever happened to a considered decision based on evidence and research? Mandelson says he will look into the drug speedily. 

PMQs Review - Gordon Backtracks

The Unite connection is hitting Gordon hard. An interesting, shocking PMQs in which the Prime Minister accepted that one of his lies had unravelled and conceeded that he was in the wrong about military funding. The moment was years in the coming - cherish it.

Cameron was nifty and managed to box Brown round the ears as the PM was obviously flapping re BA. Something tells TB we will be hearing "Labour is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Unite union" again. As Cameron said, there is no denying Unite pick candidates, choose policies, elect the leader, and have special access to No.10. Hence Brown's refusal to answer anything on it.

Irritatingly the SNPs Angus Robertson's question about Steven "sniffer" Purcell was drowned out. He asked if Gordon had taken part in a conference call when deciding by-election candidates for Glasgow. Clearly Purcell's little problem came up in said convo. Brown denied taking part but they wouldn't have asked unless they were on to some thing...

Cameron 8 Brown 3 Clegg 4

Quote of the Day

I would never go as far as calling Charlie Whelan an "aggressive hooligan", "serial killer" or "killing machine" - but then, civil servants and senior Labour figures have already said that,”

-Michael Gove this morning in Transport House.

Playing the Mann not the Ball

TB choked on his afternoon Diet Coke when he read that John "First Class" Mann has threatened to sue a blogger for the heinous crime of calling him a "wanker":

(Click to Enlarge)

Well the author of "

Mannisms

" isn't going down without fight. The hilarious site that "keeps an eye" on everyone's favourite rent-a-gob is well worth a read.

Don't be wanker John.

Rumbled by the Beeb

BBC 15 Mar 2010 | 15:50 GMT | United Kingdom

CBBC airs its first ever ever in-house animation series 'Muddle Earth', CBBC's first ever in-house animation series begins debut run on BBC One, based on Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell's children's novel of the same name. Thirteen-part series follows the adventures of a the wizard and his human apprentice as they attempt to thwart the attempts of an evil blue teddy bear from taking over the land and is aimed at 6-9 year olds. Features music performed by the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra, another first for the channel, and the voice of Sir David Jason

TB isn't quite sure what he has done to upset the lefties.

Ultra-Sound

Fantastic news this weekend that both Tracy "It's cool to vote Dave" Emin, (well done Vaizey and all those lunches) and Gulf-war hero and general SAS legend Andy McNab have both backed Dave.

McNab told

The Sun

"I'm impressed. The Tories are the future." So you've been told.

And you wouldn't want to mess with either of them.

Closer to Free

There has been a fair bit of chat recently about campaign songs. While they undoubtedly have zero effect on the result, TB thought he would share his two cents. While he is grumpy that they would steal and slaugter such an epic tune, Labour would be stupid not to use Journey's "Don't Stop Believing". The Tories flirted with "You Can Get It If You Really Want" TB has a much better idea...

Everybody wants to live
How they wanna live
And everybody wants to love
Like they wanna love
And everybody wants to be
Closer to Free

Everybody wants respect
Just a little bit
And everybody needs a chance
Once in a while
Everybody wants to be
Closer to Free

Everybody wants to live
How they want to live
And everybody wants to love
Who they want to love
And everybody wants to be
Closer to Free

If there are more appropriate lyrics than the Bodeans "Closer to Free" to describe the partcular brand of conservatism Dave offers then TB would be very surprised. And finally a campaign free of U2.

Suggestions in the comments...

He Will Let You Down

It was a late night in the

Guy News

edit suite last night, but check out a sneak preview of this week's episode. TB, with a little help from Beau Bo D'or spliced this tribute to Johnny Crash:

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to get this week's episode this aftenoon.