Woops.

Someone should really sit Labour Chief Whip

Nick Brown

down and explain to him just what all this twitter malarkey is all about. It seems Gordon's enforcer might have made a bit of a first-day-on-twitter-error:

So lets just get this straight. The Chief Whip is using to

Twitter to tell

other Labour MPs when the election is going to be.

Well now we know.

Quote of the Day

TB just spotted this little gem in the first edition of the

Standard

:

“No one should pick up a peerage with his P45 — least of all Mr Martin, who has so damaged our democracy.”

-Liberal Democrat peer Lord Oakeshott

T-Shirt of the Week: Carswell edition.

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Yours for a tenner

here

.

Have you seen this man?

MPs beware if this man approaches you in the corridor. He is dangerous, has previous and will say anything he thinks you want to hear. Tom Harris

says

the race is on, so it must be true, and guess which name he is banding around?

John Bercow must be stopped at all costs in his ridiculous attempt at becoming the Speaker. He's been at it for years, buttering up Labour benches with blatant overtures like this:

Even if it means not having a Tory in the chair, this turncoat and spineless slime ball must be stopped.

Quote of the Day

Foulkes has made a complete arse of himself over the last few days. He should go and spend more time with his three salaries.

-

Iain Dale

Shock: Man has balls to resign.

TB has woken up with another cracking hangover and though he has been milling around the flat whimpering and drinking orange juice for a bit, only just managed to handle SkyNews. And what fantastic news there is. Seems Douglas Carswell needs a medal for ousting the Speaker. No doubt Foulkes will be on television in a minute saying this was a big conspiracy of public school, southern chaps who are just in Parliament for japes and banter and don't like Glasgow riff raff like Michael Martin. What utter bollocks. The Speaker went because he was a crooked thief way out of his element and out of control.

So a man who has lost the support of MPs, his own party, his own officials, the press and the people of Great Britain resigns. How novel!

Over to you Gordon.

The final furlong...

Seems that team Dave and CCHQ have gone into the final stage of opposition. From now on the focus of the Conservative message will be to demand an election at every opportunity. Add your support by signing the petition to call for an election

here

.

The problem with the European polls may be the impact that UKIP has, but to be honest they won't be playing much of a threat in a domestic election. TB can't help but feel that the threat that the BNP pose is being hyped up and certain elements of the Labour party are getting a little too hysterical about it. TB has faith in the British public and maybe he is just being naive when he feels that once people actually get into the voting booth there won't be the feared mass exodus to what is essentially just a racist version of the Labour Party. People are fed up with politicians and fed up with Labour, they have brains though. As far as TB can tell people just aren't going to bother to vote rather than go to the fringes.

As for the local council elections... well the problem comes in the fact that the Conservatives won so many bloody seats last time round that the ones that are up for grabs are strongholds for other parties. Fingers crossed though that we can increase our share of the vote and seats but don't be expecting a landslide.

To use a well hated and cliched phrase, at the end of the day there is only one election that matters and that is the one that Gordon Brown needs to accept is inevitable and have the balls to call. He will go down in history as the one of, if not the worst Prime Ministers in history, yet he still has a chance to leave with a little dignity.

No one likes to kick a man when he's down but Gordon would be a fool to think that this country will stand for another year of his amateur and dangerous shenanigans. He takes decisions on a whim that are only for the benefit of himself, not even his party and err country? What country? Brown needs to get in the car and go see the Queen. He might even retain a scrap of dignity if he did.

Something tells TB that this is going to be messier than that though.

Unbelievable.

TB was out and about but just managed to get to a television in time to see the car crash TV that was Michael Martin's statement. Not only was it clear that he wasn't reading his own words but the questions afterwards were brutal. He had no idea how to handle the debate and had to rely on clerks. Surely he would have known what questions would be coming up and would have at least had a decent answer prepared if he thought he was going to go down with a fight.

The ball is very much in Dave's court. An official nod towards Carswell's motion from DC and it's all over for the Speaker.

Crunch time for the Speaker.

What's Michael Martin saying to Gordo?

Douglas Carswell's motion of no confidence has come from nowhere and now looks as if it could spell the end for Michael Martin, a man to bring shame to the esteemed position he holds. Carswell and Dan Hannan have had a profound effect on British politics in the last few months. The have shown not only the

ideas

but have the balls to put their money where their mouths are.

Isn't it time we started listening to them?

More Labour lies.

Fraser Nelson

hits the nail on the head:

"What David Cameron would do is give £200,000 to 3,000 millionaires." That's a lie, rather than an exaggeration. He's referring to inheritance tax, the "millionaires" he refers to would be (how you say?) dead and rather than "give" money, Cameron would propose that the state would not take it from them. The word "lie" is often overused, so let me put it this way: if this claim were made in a document regulated by the London Stock Exchange, then Mr Brown would go to jail. But this, alas, is the type of person we're dealing with: someone who plotted his way to No10 and who tries to stay in power by spreading lies and smears about his opponents. 

Toast.

Getting laid - Fail.

"A man who tried to hire a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son's virginity as a present was spared jail today.

The Polish national drove the boy to a red-light district in Nottingham, suggesting he pick a woman they saw standing at the roadside.

But the 42-year-old father was arrested because the teenager had chosen an undercover police officer, Nottingham Crown Court

heard

."

Fail.

That bloke off the telly...

TB didn't manage to catch any of these appearances but it seems that Michael Rock, the Conservative Future national chairman has been rather high profile these last couple of days...

Shane Greer better watch his back.

Bilderberg Group meet.

Full conference report tomorrow morning but is

this

why George Osborne had to rush off from Perth yesterday afternoon?

Welcome to the Dave show...

TB has had a busy morning, starting with a full Scottish breakfast in bed. Was interviewed by the Sunday Herald about blogging and the meeja and TB's new branded cotton bags for life...

Bus loads of people are arriving for Dave's big speech at three o'clock. The Perth Concert Hall is remarkably similar, a mini version even of the Birmingham Symphony Hall where DC gave him last barnstorming conference closer. There isn't the same tense buzz that there was at Birmingham but there is defiantly an anticipation that finally the Scottish party is a force to contend with.

TB and his partner in crime have managed to crash the press section so enjoying the free wi-fi and finally able to catch up on emails and gossip etc.

Incase you were wondering what the massive jumbo-tron Dave is all about, well it was a video introduction from yesterday. Yes a twenty foot by sixty DC is pretty scary.

Will be live blogging the speech. First up Michael Gove, who is the proud new owner of one of the TB bags.

+++LIVE BLOG+++ 14:00: Ok so got kicked out of the press section, weirdly about five minutes after publishing on here that TB was there. Odd.

+Now surrounded by an entire class of schoolkids who are debating the merits of the SNP and Tories. The soundest ten year old in Perthshire just came out with this classic "We need liberty and lower taxes. The Conservatives will bring all this"

14:22: Gove apologies for expenses and turns it straight around. "DC firm, clear moral leadership this week"

14.27: Weee aaare Unionists... Sparta style.

14.29: "Where there is discourse may we bring harmony." For real.

14.48: Cringe. The conference chairman is doing a whip around. Pretty shameless.

15.15: It's serious and austere Dave today. Low key entrance, and gloves straight off. "Flipping homes? I've flipping banned it" To Salmond: "You may have two salaries but you don't have a leg to stand on"

15.18: Thrift, thrift, thrift.

15.19: No seats for the press mob.

15.21: Conservative government will publish every single piece of government spending online and quango salaries.

15.24: "I am a child of the modern world, I get it!" First time TB has ever heard a politician make that sentence believable.

15.28: DC will go to Holyrood once a year to be quizzed by MSPs. Good idea.

15:31: "I know you have lost faith in these politicians, but don't lose faith in politics."

Hope not despair. Another blinder by Dave.

Right, to the station...

Good morning.

Day two in now less than sunny Perth. Apologies for the lack of posts, TB's internet dongle isn't picking up much signal. Will do a full round up when he gets home tonight and lots to tell.

So which MSP and Spectator journalist got together for a midnight sing along on the guitar in the conference bar?

Scottish Conservative Conference

Tory Bear just finished university. Holy shit.

Well that was fun while it lasted. Having escaped the exam hell, instead of getting drunk like he normally would he got straight on a train up to Perth and is now enjoying stunning views of the Kingdom of Fife and Firth of Forth in all their splendid sunny glory. TB will be covering the conference with any juicy goss, news etc. He's also meant to be going on the radio tonight so will put up a link if that goes ahead.

TB needs to check in to the hotel and will then report back with some news. That's if the pass he applied for on Tuesday night has turned up...

Watch this space.

Someone call the police...

This is

fraud

, plain and simple.

Man-Flu

TB always knew man-flu was a real and very dangerous threat. At any one moment a man can be taken down with it and forced to retire to his bed for at least 36 hours of whimpering. The only known cure for man-flu is hot scotch mixed with Lemsip and a constant supply of Tunes fed to him like grapes at a Roman orgy. And now finally here is the proof of it's existence. Those days when women could say "man-up, it's just a cold" are very much over.

It's science.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

Last exam tomorrow morning, TB is in the library for the last time ever today so won't be able to give the story that will break tonight his full attention.

But let's just say...

They're closing in

.

This isn't over yet...

The

Tax Payers Alliance

have teamed up with FOI heroine Heather Brooke to make sure that the other million receipts not already exposed by the Telegraph get into the public domain uncensored. The Commons powers that be are using the frankly weak excuse that MPs security is at threat if their addresses are put in the public domain, however given the care and responsibility the Telegraph have taken in not allowing this to happen, their argument has be rendered completely void.

Frankly there is no way that the Telegraph would have had time to scour all of the information they have acquired. TB is confident there is plenty more scandal to be exposed. Heather and the TPA are urging everyone to sign up to their petition calling for an immediate releases of all the uncensored receipts.

Do it.