Look out Zac Liberal Youth is coming

TB understands that Richmond Conservatives are bracing themselves for an onslaught of Liberal Youth activists this weekend. London Liberal Youth campaigns guru Edwin Loo will be coordinating a multiple pronged leafleting attack in order to try stem the tory tide of support behind Mr Goldsmith.

Saturday is set to go down in campaigning history as the best attended event of any political party:

The tories are clearly terrified! Peter Smallwood from London CF said "I think this just goes to prove what a joke Liberal youth has become. Myself and London CF were pleased to run a successful campaign day. It was a joint effort between a determined London CF Team and a dedicated Membership. This comparison once again shows that the Lib Dems aren't the answer and only the Conservatives can clear up Labour's mess"

Well that should wipe the irritating little grin of Loo's face.

Tom Miller really is scum.

TB doesn't lose his temper lightly but posts such as this are a step to far:

"Thursday, April 02, 20o9

More G20

Further to

yesterday

, unconfirmed, but I'm hearing that police have killed a protestor.

- Miller 2.0 at

10:59 AM

"

Who the hell does this little shit think he is? Yesterday evening after a farcical day, a man died of natural causes, as the newspapers and wires reported. Whenever large amounts of people congregate together at sporting events or concerts etc, statistically someone is more than likely to fall ill and sadly sometimes die. As Tom's beloved

Guardian reported

, it was the protesters who were hurling missiles at the police medics as they tried to resuscitate the dying man. The man had collapsed through natural causes and everything possible in the circumstances was done to try help the man but sadly it was too late.

How dare Miller somehow suggest that the big bad police had "killed a protester". This is the lowest of the low, scummy spin and he should hang his head in shame. Lest we forget who Miller is - Dolly's heinous

henchman

at LabourList and a

candidate

for the executive of Young Labour.

TB thinks the voters of the South East region where Miller is standing might have something to say about the filth and lies he is peddling.

That's more like it...

TB was pretty disappointed with Sarah Brown's

tacky choice

of Topshop clothes for Obama's kids when she went to visit the White House. So what a relieve it to see that one politician's wife can judge the right tone for this sort of thing and actually get a meaningful and appropriate gift to give to a child who has the world in the palm of their hands.

Sam Cameron

gave

Michelle Obama a copy of The Railway Children and an illustrated Stories from Shakespeare for Malia and Sasha Obama. Both books are perfect for children of that age and reflect this nation's glorious literary heritage. The fact that Sam Cam feels these are appropriate gifts bodes well for the future of British youth. Instead of a generation growing up studying Shrek for their SATs or doing their A-Level English coursework on Harry Potter, under a Conservative government, with a little gentle encouragement from the PMs wife, perhaps we can get back to the childhood classics being installed at a young age.

Instead encouraging the classy and well turned out Michelle Obama to dress her kids like some British plebes in order to flog cheap and tacky British goods on behalf of your mate Philip Green, perhaps Mrs Brown should have looked a little deeper at what this country's history has to offer children.

Sam Cam 1. Sarah Brown Nil.

Who is Dan Han?

To celebrate

that video

hitting two million views, TB has a new T-shirt up for grabs for the bargin price of a tenner:

Get yours

here

.

"Twitter? It's only for narcissists and wankers"

In an excellent bit of marketing for the film In the Loop, it seems that someone had the bring idea of putting a fake Malcolm Tucker account on Twitter:

You can follow "Malcolm"

here

.

Definitely worth it, though not for prudish, stuck up types.

The counter revolution will not be televised.

Nic Conner is a good friend of the bear and TB still owes him one for the excellent couple of nights of partying he hosted at his house during the Henley by-election last summer. Just spotted this rather good account of his day at the counter swampy protests yesterday on the

CF website

and thought it deserved to be shamefully nicked reproduced in full:

You have to give it to the Anarchists and Communists, this protesting lark is hard work. When I got up this morning I had no idea what was install as this would be my first protest. After my morning shower I popped on my suit, picked up my copy of Hayek’s Road to Serfdom and headed to Reading train station to get the train into London.

When I finally arrived at the Bank of England; after getting lost in the city, I found my fellow Pro-Free Market Capitalists. At the start it was just us, the media and some happy dancing hippies, so we reserved a lot of press attention. We had numerous photos taken and interviews with the worlds press, which was a good chance for us to use our YBF media training. I am not holding my breath though to see any of it broadcast as it looks like the UK press has taken a different editorial slant on todays G20 demonstration, but do look out in the papers to see our message getting out there.

Whilst we where chatting to Tim Montgomerie of Conservative Home, who came out in a suit, a sudden barrage of noise filled the air and like if to appear from thin air the protest was upon us. At this time we where standing on a island in the middle of the roads which was joined to the entrance of the Bank of England (museum, but don’t tell the protesters as they seemed to think it was the Bank itself) in the center of the island was the statue of the great conservative PM Wellington.

We headed to the edge of the island to the great crowd control barriers they put up. I stood with banner and Hayek in hand ready to stand up for Freedom, Liberty and the Great British way but only the media walking with the march seemed to notice. After that side filled up the other side of the island became full so we ran over there. There we met our first form of conflict. People where shouting to us “Capitalism is not working” but they soon were on their way after telling them that their Sony camera, the clothes they are wearing and the march they are on are all because of capitalism and the freedom which comes with capitalism.

We started getting people coming over and asking what we were doing or why we were supporting capitalism, we got into some excellent debates! The hard liners we never win over but after explaining our stance to people we began to win over the crowd; so much so we had a chap in Che Guevara tee shirt come over and hold up our banner.

It’s been said one of the biggest problem with right wing politics is that it is not explained to people so people don’t understand what we stand for. We told them we would like to get the Government’s nose out of economics and bring in an independent Bank of England with the power of regulation it had century’s before New Labour. It seems that the majority of the people we spoke to agreed with us and like us they do not understand why they did not fix the roof during the sunny days.

After listening to music from Billy Bragg; including Red Flag, (I found out from a radio interview on the way home he was bring out a new album and in true communist style was out to promote his album to make more millions) we decide to leave. Walking through the crowds we did not experience any agro. We found ourselves at the police barricades where ‘no one may leave’. We waited for 3 hours amongst the protesters, journalists and innocent bystanders. One poor lady thought to make use of the area being pedestrianized to cut through to an interview but when she got to the other side she was not aloud to leave. For the next 3 hours we chatted to the protesters, converting Communists to our way of thinking. People tried to make a run for it by running through the police line but they just ended up get arrested. A communist chap started chanting ‘Sorry I care about my children, Sorry I care about my country, Sorry I did not take a wee before coming here’ after the police would not let him through to go to the WC.

We finally got out and went home past anti-capitalists in Starbucks. It was a great day and we did not have any bother. I must say the violent protesting the BBC are reporting was non existent from what I saw and looking at the footage of the RBS trashing (which is ironic as it is now state owned) you see 6 trouble makers surrounded by a press pack egging them on. We mange to convert some lefties to sound thinking and got our message out. We saw some real extremists like a group who had banners saying “MI5 was behind 7/7′ and people calling for the abolition of money.

Today we were a non party political group, just some individuals who joined up under the common idea of freedom and pro free market capitalism. We had a fun and productive day. If you are keen to join us on a counter protest one day I know the Freedom Association is looking to do more so keep your eyes open for future events.

If you would like to write a guest post for Tory Bear then email him.

Tweet o'the Day...

TB is enjoying the Mayor of London's

Twitter feed

. Especially Boris-esque classics like

this

:

Does anyone actually know if it's really him or one of his press officers?

FFS

Now TB knows that some of you get grumpy when he blogs about Edinburgh University, well more specifically about

EUSA,

but this is in an issue that goes far beyond local student politics. It has come to TB's attention that the outgoing leaders of the organisation are... wait for it... as a parting gift... attempting to have the Daily Mail banned on campus.

As TB commented to a eager Edinburgh journo last night, it's as if they want an uprising on their hands and do these things to make people go militant. Well luckily the plans have gone down like a cup of cold sick on both the left and the right and TB will now turn to his old sparring partner, a Labour hack and blogger

Super-Man-Can-Fly

. While TB has few problems with the Mail, it's often light relief, even the left are up in arms at this ridiculous move:

"If I do not like a publication I do not call for its removal but instead exercise my democratic rights and do not purchase it. I give my money instead to papers and organisations I agree with. Taking the choice away from students smacks of intolerance and totalitarianism. Trust in your constituents instead of trying to ban them from engaging with such garbage.

Engaging is what must be done and is a much more mature approach, than going in a huff and stamping ones foot. We must challenge the Daily Mail. We need to demonstrate where their hate goes, the weakness of their arguments, the falsehoods of their evidence and examples. You do not win debates with censorship. We, on the left, should trust in the power of our arguments to defeat the Daily Mail. We can demonstrate that what they put forward is wrong with faith in our beliefs. To try and ban it is a sign of weakness and ideological deficit.

I believe that true political people do not hide behind bans and censorship but have the faith in their politics to fight for their cause. Not simply make the opposing viewpoint disappear because that is the route of the tyrant.

EUSA must not attempt to ban the Daily Mail but instead have faith in student's ability to decide for themselves what is right or wrong."

You can read the rest of the rant

here

. This piss take course of action defies all logic. It tacitly says that students are morons and therefore their glorious student union must decide what they read and what views they should subscribe to.

It's getting to the stage where TB can't even be bothered to get angry with this lot any more. Time and time again ridiculous and unnecessarily patronising ideas are banded about. Whether it be the need for "liberation officers" (welcome to the 1980s!) to attempts to ban a student society on account of the fact that they were pro-life. Two more months and he is in the real world and away from this farcical control.

TB just feels sorry for those he'll leave behind.

UPDATE: 18.38: TB just had to bite his tongue while speaking to an extremely hostile and rude hack at the Scottish Daily Mail newsdesk about this. You know if you listen before going off on one you might have realised TB was defending your rag you bloody idiot!

Barack could you pass the er er salt...

Nice touch from

Sam Coates

(of the Times variety.) He's managed to get hold of the seating plan for tonights casual supper party:

TB hopes Merkel gives Obama indigestion as she savages his ridiculous plans.

Blaney solves the US economic crisis:

Just spotted this at the

Ministry of Sound

:

Dear Mr. President,

Let's call this the "Patriotic retirement" :

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force, so why not pay them $1 million a piece severance with these stipulations :

1) They must leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed .

2) They must buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They must either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

Should do the trick.

Dead Duck tantrums

The Liberal Democrats just don't get it. They are due to get a savage kicking in the next election and look like fools when they go around with their "Shadow" team pretending that they actually have a chance of forming a government. Such illusions of grandeur can be seen in Nick Clegg's pathetic yet comical hissy fit that he didn't get to go for a cup of tea with "The One":

"I am really annoyed. As it was not a state visit I understood I wouldn't get to see him. But when I found out Obama was meeting the Queen and David Cameron I got on the phone to David Miliband to ask him what was going on. Frankly, it doesn't look good for Cameron to see him and for me not to."

Hate to break it to you Nick, Obama is meeting Cameron because he is going to be the next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland and frankly doesn't have time to meet the convener of a jumped up pressure group.

Hat-Tip -

Richard Kay

Caption Contest...

Via the excellent

Hopi Sen

TB has learnt that this picture of Dave has been

awarded

the Press Awards Photograph of the Year:

Not only is he an Ian McEwan fan but like all the best people it seems DC is a double parker too.

Good man.

It's not all swampies you know...

Sound.

Photos-

Tim Montgomerie

Anagram of the week...

Just spotted this

little gem

from Mr Hannan:

I AM GORDON BROWN = MAD ON BORROWING

Where there is discord, may we bring harmony...

As the dust settles on the Liberal Youth elections, may TB take this opportunity to congratulate their moron-in-chief James Harrison for getting elected to their committee on Bagshaw's coat-tails. Harrison is Scotland's most eminent "

video-blogger

" and on account of having few or no friends, decides to broadcast his inane views to the world on a near daily basis. Bless.

So there it is the future of Liberal Youth. Not a bunch of lookers it seems. In his previous post TB mentioned that Bagshaw had some serious work to do build some of the bridges that have been burnt in this shambled and embarrassing election. Tonight an already exasperated source has got in touch to report that it's not going to well so far:

“Looks like Vicky's hit the ground running with both her and her London lieutenant Edwin Loo going into overdrive announcing their plans for campaigns - which is odd because the VC campaigns doesn't seem to be involved - and though he seems to be keeping a lid on it in public with just a few veiled comments on the forums, if I know anything he'll be fucking livid that his portfolio's being walked all over before the new term even begins. Ben pretty much ran Sara's campaign until the infamous heckle so it looks a bit like Elaine's trying to manage him out already. Start as you mean to go on, eh?”

Elaine has nailed her true colours to the post - Rather than spending a few days contacting her newly elected committee, nursing some tense relationships, she has swanned off to Blackpool to get pissed with her labour mates "observe" the NUS conference. Nice waste of £300 if you ask this bear but hey you can take the girl out of Labour Students, but you can't take the Labour students out of the girl.

TB has spies in Blackpool and will be reporting any goss or banter. Don't hold your breath though. It's apparently dull.

Very, very dull.

Thank you for the music...

There has been much rejoicing across the free world today as Elaine Bagshaw was returned as Liberal Youth Chair. That's right kids, we have another year of banter and jokes at the expense of this authoritarian, incompetent and obnoxious woman. The former New Labour hack has successfully managed to stamp out the opposition to a leadership style that many have found some what testing. Interesting to note the very high number of voters who wished for nominations to be re-opened and when that figure is added to the votes for Bagshaw's opponents, she managed to squeak through with just a four votes. Pretty much half the organisation (that bothered to vote, and my my that is a low turnout for what is an apparently "Liberal generation"!) don't want Bagshaw and she is going to have to some how rebuild the bridges that she and her heinous henchmen have burnt in this election.

These elections have upset the Liberal Youth apple cart in a big way

. Not only has Bagshaw treated her membership with contempt but she has also severely pissed off the staff at Liberal Democrat HQ. The news of her victory has seemingly been greeted with weary acceptance, especially as most of the voters sent back their ballots before TB started livening things up and revealing just what an idiot Miss Bagshaw can be.

And what a farcical election it was. The whole organisation was leaking like the Titanic. There was a flurry of briefings and counter briefings and anonymous tip offs that made CF look like a bunch of amateurs. If the real Lib Dems were such keen media operators, the dead duck party might actually get some press coverage from time to time. Looking forward to seeing Bagshaw exact her revenge on those who doubted her and restore her iron fist on the membership.

So lets all charge a glass and toast this victory. It's going to be a brilliant year.

NewsBiscuit on cracking form:

Adult movie star Lustie Blowes is facing questions over her future as the industry’s leading hardcore actress after ‘mistakenly’ claiming the cost of her husband’s Sky TV subscription to the BBC Parliament channel on her pornography expenses.

The embarrassing mistake came to light after her husband, Nigel Blowes, admitted to watching three hours of political material, including Prime Minister’s Question Time, Andrew Neil’s Straight Talk and a special report on the Parliamentary Standards Commission. Porn producers say the matter has undermined the credibility of Mrs Blowes, who is said to be ‘mortified’ by the error.

‘Nigel is deeply ashamed that he watched this material and the sordid, grubby business of politics was allowed into our home. It was a momentary lapse in his judgement and he assures me that he usually only ever watches hardcore pornography like any normal married man.’

Never fails to make TB chuckle.

+++VICKY POLLARD WINS+++

Liberal Youth Election results just in:

Muhammed Elias Ali -- 4
Elaine Bagshaw -- 148
Sara Scarlett -- 92
R.O.N -- 44

developing...

"Who is Ian Thomas?"

In the words of Eric Pickles when the Parliament security told him about

last night's incident

outside his party, TB was wondering who Ian Thomas was too. The papers have named him as the forty year old head of Suger Media, an Islington based company. Sadly their

website appears to be down

at the moment, but like any good media honcho should know, the internet lasts forever:

Here's what the

Google Cache

had to say about Mr Thomas:

The

publisher

of the

Student Times

who clearly can't handle his Brentwood brewed beers is known for his flamboyant personality....

Bit of an understatement really if flamboyant means triggering an security scare and getting pepper sprayed.

Guest Post - Top 10 Sexiest Male MPs

TB commented last week that with the state of the Blair Babes 12 years on, it was no surprise that the UK didn't do too well in the rankings of the worlds sexiest female politicians. This however upset Tory Bear's favourite lefty feminist Gabi Jones, from the Women of the World organisation. TB has clashed with Gabi in the past,

very publicly

in the letters section of a student paper over the old "Life's better under a conservative" poster. So for the sake of sexual equality and what not, TB will let Gabi brighten up your Tuesday morning with a round up of the UK's sexiest male politicians...


As a long-time reader of Tory Bear, I am very excited to have been invited to compile a list of the top ten sexiest British male politicians. For a long time I have been criticised for my dreadful taste in men – something I fervently dispute – but with such an attractive lot representing us, this list is filled with the best of British.

1. Ed Vaizey – Conservative, MP for Wantage & Didcot

Rolling in at number 1 is the Adonis of Westminster, 40 year old Ed Vaizey. After seeing Ed’s numerous appearances on The Wright Stuff, I have fallen for his undeniable charm and charisma. Ed looks good in a suit, has a gorgeous voice and a slight receding hairline – what more could you actually want? I just wish I lived in his constituency. Sigh.

2.

Adam Afriyie – Conservative, MP for Windsor

In terms of justifying my choice, I think this amazing photo is reason enough. Body-wise, Mr Afriyie is the Elle McPherson of male politicians. I’d go running with him any day.

3. David Cameron – Conservative, MP for Witney

I appreciate this is turning into a bit of a Tory-fest but maybe life is better on top of a Conservative? Tory leader David is confident, powerful and arrogant – AKA very, very sexy. However, it’s clear whenever DC is with his wife Samantha and their children that he is caring, compassionate and quite a nice guy. Shame he’s married…

4. Daniel Hannan – Conservative, MEP for South East England

Never having heard of Daniel before his infamous attack on Gordon Brown in Strasbourg, I am putting him high up at number 4 completely for that speech. Good public speaking is always a turn-on and Daniel’s eloquence, presence and anger combined make him a very desirable man – at least on YouTube. Some might say he’s going a bit bald but I think on the right man, a bit of thinning on top can actually look quite good and Daniel certainly pulls it off. Did I mention that speech?

5. Adrian Ramsay – Green, Deputy Party Leader

Okay, maybe I’m cheating slightly because Adrian isn’t actually elected to parliament yet, but it looks likely to happen in the near future. Finally, a left-winger to add to this list! Adrian is young, handsome and joined the Green Party at just 16. Set to unseat Charles Clark in the next election, Adrian might make Westminster that bit more attractive. My leftist heart is beating fast.

6. Jeremy Hunt – Conservative, MP for South West Surrey

And we’re back to the Tories – I think I might be flattering the egos of quite a few TB readers here… Mr Hunt is another politician with a divine receding hairline; add his language skills and charity work to that… Well, you just would. Apparently Jeremy runs regular surgeries with his constituents; I might just move to Farnham.

7. David Lammy – Labour, MP for Tottenham

David Lammy doesn’t exactly scream sexy, but he’s got something about him. Not too good at general knowledge, I’m guessing that his strengths lie elsewhere…

8. George Osborne – Conservative, MP for Tatton

He’s arrogant as they come and I really should dislike him, but George Osborne is yet another Tory that I find myself extremely attracted to. Maybe I should concede defeat to my lust for Tories and sign up? On second thoughts…

9. Tobias Ellwood – Conservative, MP for Bournemouth East

Tobias has this, ‘I raised lions and lived in Africa for a long time’ Born Free-ness about him. Actually, he was born in New York and raised in Austria; always a fan of well-travelled men, I definitely approve of this. I’m also a big admirer of the receding hairline / thick head of hair combination.

10. William Hague – Conservative, MP for Richmond

Admittedly, Mr Hague isn’t exactly a looker, but he does have the sexiest voice in Westminster and for that alone he deserves a spot in my top ten. What I would give to have him whisper in my ear.

This list is overwhelmingly leaning to the right, okay; I admit I have a thing for Tories. Maybe it’s their infuriating politics? I think my friends were definitely justified in buying me one of TB’s own ‘I kissed a Tory… and I liked it’

t-shirts

for my birthday…

You can follow Gabi on Twitter

here

.