We're All Going To Die!

Lembit is at it again with the Early Day Motions:

1962
TRACKING NEAR EARTH OBJECTS
21:7:09

Lembit Öpik
Lynne Jones
Peter Bottomley
Frank Cook
Mr David Drew

* 5

That this House notes the collision of a large object with the planet Jupiter, causing an impact scar in the Jovian atmosphere the size of the earth; believes it is a matter of scientific fact that earth will, sooner or later, be hit by a large near earth object capable of destroying a significant proportion of life on earth; further notes such an impact would be more damaging to the British economy than the failure of a bank, but that the Government has spent more on preventing the bankruptcy of Royal Bank of Scotland than the entire cost of tracking and diverting any near earth object capable of incinerating the United Kingdom; and calls on the Government to implement all 14 recommendations of the Near Earth Object Task Group which published its report and recommendations in 2000.

It's fine Lembit, everyone knows Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck will save us.

The Gags Don't Work, They Just Make It Worse

It's not just the media that is changing, but seemingly the control people can have over what is said that is changing too. A year ago the Trafigura scandal might have been picked up by a few blogs, but this morning there have been literally thousands of people discussing it openly on Twitter. This would never have happened had the Guardian been allowed to quietly go on and publish what they had to say.

Mr Eugenedies

is right to employ the

Barbara Streisand theory

:

"One day these highly-remunerated libel lawyers are going to wake up and realise that they aren't being paid in guineas any more and that, thanks to this thing called the Interwebs, they can't shut down freedom of speech the way they used to in the old days. On the contrary; as Barbara Streisand found to her cost, 99% of people don't give a shit about 99% of stuff, right up the moment when you start waving your arms up and down telling them to stop reading about it."

Can see this story going down as a case study for a long time to come.

Trafigura Dumped Bad Stuff

So wait, it's not like that hasn't been reported? Gag TB?

TB would love to be a fly on the wall during the Trafigura/Carter-Ruck conference call that will undoubtedly be taking place this morning. The plan to keep the naughty little secrets that Carter-Ruck are no doubt being paid all sorts of millions to keep under wraps, has backfire spectacularly. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to try gag a British newspaper from covering Parliament should have watched that great episode of State of Play with Bill Nighy as the pesky newspaper editor.

Nothing like a handful of bloggers short of stories on a Monday night to put a spanner in the works though. Kudos to

Guido

,

Alex Massie

,

Next Left

,

Tory Politico

and

Political Scrapbook

as well as thousands of the twitterati for firing this one up.

Can anyone think of anything funny to rhyme with Carter Ruck?

TB loves the quote on the front page of the

Carter Ruck website

. They actually boast at what a walkover the Guardian is:

Clearly they took their own advice and didn't "mess with Carter Ruck." TB on the other hand has no money:

Question 61

, to be asked on Wednesday 14 October, by Paul Farrelly MP for Newcastle-under-Lyme:

To ask the Secretary of State for Justice, what assessment he has made of the effectiveness of legislation to protect (a) whistleblowers and (b) press freedom following the injunctions obtained in the High Court by (i) Barclays and Freshfields solicitors on 19 March 2009 on the publication of internal Barclays reports documenting alleged tax avoidance schemes and (ii) Trafigura and Carter-Ruck solicitors on 11 September 2009 on the publication of the Minton report on the alleged dumping of toxic waste in the Ivory Coast, commissioned by Trafigura.

What's all the fuss about? The Guardian should get some balls and Carter Ruck should take a long, long, hard look in the mirror before they damage their entire profession.

Spectacular fail on their behalf. As is so often the case - attempting to silence a story only makes it spread far far quicker!

Another victory for the blogosphere.

New Video: Jacqui is Still Lying

TB has been playing around on his now near fried computer this evening. This is in no way polished, but he was just trying some new things out:

The shamelessly stolen music caused some issues on youtube too. Sorry

Mr H

...but you have to admit the words fit!

Quote of the Day

"I only had to pay back six grand."

-Derek Conway

The former tory MP was

speaking

to to Jon Craig in light of Gordon's astonishing theft of over twelve thousand pounds of taxpayers money. Conway was disgraced, a career ruined.

Gordon is set to make millions when he is finally defeated by the voters.

Eat Your Heart Out Liam Byrne

Governor Arnie posted a picture of his breakfast on Twitter that was picked up by

Hattie Garlick

. What a legend:

TB doubts Liam Byrne, a man notorious for his

pernickety demands

for his meals served by his staff gets this level of service. Look at the love and care that has gone into preparing that breakfast!

Better rewrite that memo Liam.

Don't Panic Hit the Lords

TB imagines that there will be a video to follow, but Heydon Prowse of

Don't Panic

fame will be sticking this poster to the side of the House of Lords at 3.30 this afternoon in protest at Lord Taylor and Truscott of "give us a couple of grand for amendments to the law" fame:

Not sure what Foxtons will have to say.

Stop Whining, Start Signing

My my my what a busy first day back at school it's been. Researchers and bag-carriers, who have pretty much had the Palace to themselves all summer, have been taken somewhat aback by the various shit-storms that have broken this morning. Those gin sodden afternoons on the terrace must seem like a world away right now.

Most of the trauma seems to be coming from the fact that Thomas Legg is actually doing his job properly and thus enforcing the rules. There seems to be much discontent, and even a whiff of rebellion in the air as MPs, right the way up to Gordon, are complaining that the rules have been changed retrospectively. This is utter bullshit though. One overbearing rule that has always been there was that any expense claim must have been "wholly, exclusively and necessarily incurred for the purposes of carrying out their duties as an MP." This isn't a new rule, this was the rule. It seems a few home truths are starting to hurt.

Stop whining and get out the chequebook.

How to State the Bleedin' Obvious

"The arrest of Tory MP Damian Green as part of a Home Office leak inquiry was "not proportionate",

a report

has said."

Well no shit! Did that really take six months to work out. TB reckons every single person, red or blue, who saw the footage of the police trampling over the authority of parliament, mocking our entire democracy could have told you that the course of action was not proportionate.

More importantly, who is going to take the can back for it?

Sorry isn't good enough Jacqui.

Sky are

reporting

:

"Former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith must say sorry to the House of Commons, but will face no further action, after a watchdog found she had "clearly" breached rules on second home expenses.

The Commons Standards and Privileges Committee said that Ms Smith had "clearly" breached rules by wrongly designating her main home and ordered her to apologise to the House on this issue.

It is thought likely that Ms Smith will make her apology in a personal statement to the Commons later today."

Sorry! Ok so next time TB fraudulently claims 100k through fiddling paperwork he will just stand up and say sorry before walking into the sunset considerably better off. This isn't good enough. Luckily for the taxpayer it doesn't have to end here...



Bring Jacqui to Justice.

Thick of It Trailer

It's coming...



It's quite sad how excited TB is.

25 Years Ago Today

TB wasn't alive 25 years agoand can't imagine the profound effect of the Brighton bomb. He just watched this video he just spotted on

ConHome

twice though and thought he would share it:



The fact Martin McGuiness was given a pass and allowed to freely roam the Brighton Grand Hotel a couple of weeks back is atrocious.

UPDATE: BBC Tell the Real Inconvenient Truth

No more government scaremongering. No more righteous indignation from the left. No more Man Bear Pig. The

BBC have finally said

what most sensible people have been arguing for years:

"For the last 11 years we have not observed any increase in global temperatures."

For some reason TB isn't sure this truth will be allowed to ring out across the land. The bee is very much in the lefty bonnet. Why let the truth get in the way of a myth that allows more control over people and more importantly business and trade.

Expect plenty more videos of puppies drowning.

UPDATED 13.00 Found the video:



Bastards.

YBF6

Just when you thought your networking was done for the month, think again. From lunchtime on Friday, 23 October 2009 to lunchtime Sunday, 25 October 2009 at Wellington College,

YBF

will be running their annual conference

YBF6

. The speakers panel this year looks set to be fascinating:

Eric Pickles MP, Conservative Party Chairman
Daniel Hannan MEP, Co-Author of The Plan
Rt Hon Lord Forsyth, Former Secretary of State for Scotland
Gerald Howarth MP, Shadow Defence Minister
Andrew Rosindell MP, Shadow Home Office Minister
Greg Hands MP, Shadow Treasury Minister
Paul Goodman MP, Shadow Local Government Minister
Douglas Carswell MP, Co-Author of The Plan
Paul Staines, Guido Fawkes
Iain Dale, Blogger & Publisher
Jonathan Isaby, ConservativeHome
Nick Wood, Former CCHQ Head of Communications
Matthew Elliott, TaxPayers' Alliance
Douglas Murray, Centre for Social Cohesion
Simon Richards, Freedom Association
Alan Mendoza, Henry Jackson Society
Russell Walters, Conservative Way Forward
Peter Whittle, New Culture Forum

TB undestands there is also a possy of American ladies heading over for the weekend. What more could you want?

Ticket price includes all accomodation and meals at this intensive three day, two night course. TB strongly recommends you get involved and will see you there.

Buy ticket now.

Get Balls out for a Tenner

Competition was tough in the best business card of conference category. They ranged from horrendously naff - FYI black with just a name in gold, screams douche Mr A. Lobbyist. To overly keen - Barry Goldwater is a legend but his quote on the back of a business card - really? To just plain aggressive - putting your twitter name on your business card does not make you cutting edge and trendy it makes you look like a weapon.

In the end the simplest idea made the bear laugh. Nothing flashy, just a chuckle. The Get Balls out for a Tenner campaign being run by Tony Homewood, Association Chairman of Morley and Outwood tories is genius. He is trying to get

Anthony Calvert

in and the idea is very simple - on the business card it has all the bank details to transfer them a tenner to defeat Balls. TB understands that people were skipping this stage and just throwing tenners at the campaign throughout conference.

There are few people hated more than Ed Balls it seems!

Get not give send them a tenner?
A/C: 11322665
S/C: 30 90 57
Morley and Outwood Conservative Association

The Outcast on the Inside

Those of you who remember how the expulsion of Ralph "Ever heard of UKIP?" Buckle from the tories played out might find this series of photos rather amusing:

Seems Ralph, or

Tory Outcast

as he goes by now, had quite a laugh at conference.

Things Can Only Get Better

TB is definitely up for a Christmas Karaoke repeat. Thanks again to everyone who came down last Monday. As you may be able to tell, TB had a cracking night. As the Standard and Guardian reported, the hundred strong crowd belting out a rendition of Things Can Only Get Better was quite a moment.

No wonder the bear still has sore throat.

Something for the weekend... #93

Only in Canadia



That's what TB is talking aboot.

Wikio Lovin' Grows

TB has just noticed he has hit number eight in the

Wikio rankings

. Last month had a serious flurry of traffic over a couple of big stories so he imagines that had something to do with it. He doesn't particularly trust Wikio 100% as an accurate judge of influence. At the end of the day what matters is traffic and TB knows full well there are many, many, blogs below him in these standings that have a higher traffic flow than his own little corner.

Still, a big thank you to all those who have stopped by and especially those who have sent traffic this way.