Friday, 4 July 2008

You can wear it if you really want...

Thank you to yet another co-conspiritor who undertook the public service of leaking Tory Bear this truly awful t-shirt planned for Fresher's Week. On the front it has You can get it HERE (if you really want) and the back says Join the Party! with the logo.

Cringe is an understatement.

Simple question.. would you be seen dead in this?

I didn't think so.

+++LGBTory will joining Boris at Pride+++

Interesting Facebook message from ABB. Seems LGBTory is actually doing something and will be joining Boris at the front of the London Gay Pride parade tomorrow... Even the most cynical of members must realise that this is a pretty significant moment.

Not for LGBTory but for the Party as a whole.

: TB has been in contact with Anastasia who is rather excited at the plethora of banners, balloons and tshirts CCHQ seems to have forked out for.. She said:

"I am over the moon and incredibly proud of everyone involved with LGBTory and everyone at CCHQ who helped make this happen. I can't stop smiling."

Let's hope it doesn't rain tomorrow.

A message to the voters of Glasgow East....

Thursday, 3 July 2008

Cheers Zac...

And so to Richmond for Zac Goldsmith's summer party. Despite being billed as one of the top CF events of the summer sadly Zac neither sunk a Pitcher nor played the Piano as the venue promised.

Tory Bear can't help but laugh at despite the fact the PPC for Richmond is worth some £300m he still smokes rollies! Achingly trendy!

Seems Mr Goldsmith was quite the hit with the ladies this evening too... Another CF bottle opener up for grabs for the best caption to the photo above posted in the comments section...

Congratulations are also in order to CFs in house impersonator Mr Max Litwenik - recently renamed "Max Lit" (- any relation to Tony?) Max's Facebook status yesterday said he was "attending the richmond drinks tomorrow mainly for the free liquor"
It seems he made the most of it too:

Good lad.

Thumbs up for the Rock and a look to the Future...

Ok time for the first preliminary survey result... Will be saving the NME index until the poll closes but lets have a sneaky peak at some of the Chairman stats.

To the left are the answers to "Please rate Michael Rock's performance as Chairman so far"

Given that 50.7% of the respondents so far voted for the Rock the top heavy results are to be expected. 20.3% of the 70 respondents so far give him a five out of ten. As many people rate the Rock a Hero as they do a Zero.. but most CFers seem to rate him pretty highly on the scale. 71.9% voted between 5 to 10 out of ten - sound.

Next we have a rather interesting split in the NME with two very clear front runners emerging for "Which of the NME do you reckon has the best chance of becoming Chairman?" ---------->

Patrick Sullivan is the front runner but Christian May is hot on his tail. The divisive ABB has clearly got some core support out there but given some of the comments left on the survey she needs to sort out her bossy demeanor before she will start to win over the mass vote.

Tory Bear put his journalist cap on and got in touch with the leaders of this poll-

The charming and friendly Christian "hot news, firm views" May grumpily said:

"The tory bear blog clearly amuses a few CF members, and having been shown these survey results I can now count myself amongst them."

Well Christian your blog certainly provided many an hour of
for TB.

Christian also refused to comment on the potential conflict of interest that would arise if he did stand for Chairman and continue his new job as Shane Greer 2 at YBF.

Mr Sullivan was much more helpful:

After you published that picture of me with my hair alight, I'm not exactly sure why I am talking to you my furry friend but thanks for getting in touch –

As for your poll that has me ahead, well firstly I would like to say that I am flattered that there are those out there who think I’d make a good CF Chairman. However, I have so much on at the moment that the next round of CF elections seems a million years away. My main priority at the moment is getting on with doing my job. What I will say is that I am in the process of working on exciting new plans for electing Conservatives in our Students’ Unions and within the NUS, which should be great fun! "

TB likes the sound of this NUS stuff - always a fan of giving the left a good kicking, tough crowd though. A rather enigmatic response from Mr Sullivan especially given the rumour that he has his eye on the top of another organisation, much bigger than CF...

And other runners? News reaches me that a Craig Cox comeback is in the early stages of development and according one respondent Wed, 7/2/08 3:44 PM:

"Neil Martin is running next year - worse kept secret."

TB also had an rather amusing chat with Matt Richardson today about the prospect of another slate "Forward Together Again - Because CF deserves a second chance." Given that 66.2% of those polled responded saying they wouldn't vote for Matt again he better get back on the CF scene pretty pronto if it's going to be second time lucky...

Well seeing as the elections aren't until next April - possibly even next September it's going to be a long old race... You know where you will get the news first though. Happy days.

Tory Bear laid bare

The last 24 hours has seen quite the flurry of activity at ToryBear HQ...

My inbox has been pinging nonstop with emails that range from support, to inquisitive "who are you!?" and then of course there is the standard damn right abuse.

And nice try to that ever ambitious bonnie lass who had a crack at tracing my IP address..

On this note I want to clear up a few things:

Firstly I am not John Moorcraft haha, nor am I on the Exec - I am a small blue teddy bear who likes to cuddle DC- the picture is a dead give away.

Secondly Tory Bear has no malicious intentions. It is my firm believe that CF has been over run by too many greased up little piglets who take themselves far too seriously and it is my number one goal to inject a sense of humour into the organisation.

Thirdly Tory Bear is not looking to create divisions or snipe from the side lines. I am an active CFer and have the best interests of the organisation at heart. At the same time there are some serious flaws that need to be highlighted and in order to protect the debate that I hope will emerge on this site, I will not be revealing my identity so not open myself to allegations of being part of this or that clique, or supporting this faction or that etc.

I hope this has cleared a few things up and that you enjoy the site... I will be publishing the first swath of results soon.

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Competition #1

There is one of the rare and hard to get (ha) CF bottle openers up for grabs for the first person to tell Tory Bear which prominent CFer thinks girls pyjama bottoms and a bow-tie is a good look...

Update: A clue for you... He has seen both Britney and Christina live..not once but twice dear readers...

Answers below...

Thank you to my co-conspirator who emailed this picture... there was a much more controversial picture also sent in, but TB is going to sit on that one for awhile...

+++ apologies +++

Have been playing around with the layout and design of the blog today, so sorry for any disruption this may have caused.

Cocked up the html so it might look a bit funny for few days but working on it...

Save the Rhino...

CF's very own Obi Wan Kenobi is back and blogging at

John has spent the last four years living life in the fast lane. The man has been to the edge and back undertaking a research project into the "contemporary young conservative movement," making Pete Doherty look like a little sissy.

With the disappearance of the old Moorcraft blog and the emergence and subsequent fading out of the
Political Rhino
and now the emergence of a new Moorcraft blog, you have to admit John that it looks a little suspicious. Happy to take your word for it though...

Which begs the question where has the Rhino gone?
Come back... unless of course you are busy with something... 27,000 words must take an age to proof read ; )

Joking apart Tory Bear is looking forward to your report and good luck with it all...

You can read previews of John's study at the new Moorcroft blog in the coming weeks.

CF Exec ratings - June 08

Please take ten seconds to complete this survey of the CF Executive's performance so far...

Click Here to take survey

If you have no interest in CF please don't bother...

Results soon...

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

The Next Generation...

So the Tory young and beautiful were out in force tonight at the Adam Smith Institute's annual lash up on a boat...

Tory Bear managed to fight his way through the swarms of brash American interns who spent the evening arguing about the many different ways they would like to see Barack crash and burn, to find an almost dry bar...

Quote of the night - "McCain '08...yeah more like 1908"

"The Next Generation" - as the evening was billed whooped in a near delirious delight as the boat sailed past City Hall... the screams of "Boris...BORIS!!!" were quite haunting.

The big hit of the night was naughty boy
Howard Flight
who was corrupting the CFers with his tales of
tax cutting
and how to piss off Michael Howard... Tory Bear has never seen so many business cards be whipped out...

This one is going on my wall though:

Other gossip from the evening:

Well it seems that "CF Top Totty" (according to John Moorcraft cough...I mean
Political Rhino
,) Alexandra Swann has managed to stop talking about Surrey for more than eight seconds... She has a new favourite topic of conversation - her recent contraction of the highly contagious and infectious MarClar disease... woof!

Buried the hatchet?

It seems that CCHQ bad boy Michael Lunn (the civil service of Conservative Future,) has buried the hatchet with desert island tory Claire Hilley... On Facebook at least!

After the
of last years CF elections with Lunn actively trying to get Hilley fast-tracked as Chairman supposedly on the orders of DC and Spelperson the shit hit the fan when the plot descended into a who leaked what saga commendably pursued Watergate style by

Good to see that they have kissed and made up.

Tory Bear wonders whether Mr Lunn will attempt a similar stunt in next years elections.. word on the street is Hilley wasn't the only young ambitious female CFer approached and asked to run...

The mystery of the ridiculous hat...

Anyone wondering why Conservative Future's esteemed National Campaigns coordinator was seen sporting such a ridiculous hat on TelegraphTV's feature on Boris campaigning in Henley?

Equally baffling was the new skin head look Patrick Sullivan seemed to have adopted for polling day- I would have said that this wouldn't go down in well in Henley but given that this is the constituency that contains more BNP supporters than Labour I'm not so sure now...

Well the answer isn't too hard to find if you have a sneaky peek at the plethora of celebratory facebook albums from the countless CF hacks who decamped to Henley for election week:

Patrick we salute you.

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

no shit...

Thursday, 12 June 2008

Wouldn't see Gordon this on a random Thursday evening...

He must have had a shite day but he's on good form and these CameronDirect things are a great idea... (The moderator is a bit of a bitch though, distinct lack of a sense of humour!)

Very Obama...

As is the new donation policy plan:

Does Ashcroft donate as much or as little as he likes?

DD debacle

I’m torn, on the one hand you have to respect DD for his decision today to resign – even those it would have angered must have got a little swept in the evocative spiel about the Magna Carta and the CCTV state!

However on the other hand this is a bit of a spanner in the works, that is likely to flop spectacularly if Labour does not put up a candidate. David Davis has taken scalp after scalp as Shadow Home Secretary and the prospective Tory front bench is now significantly weaker. DD was our attack dog who could be relied upon to throw the punches.

I often lament of a lack of honour in this modern age, no great battles left to fight, nothing left to die for, so I can’t condemn David Davis and I will be there on the streets campaigning for him, campaigning against this tyrannical government. However I can’t help feel some reservations and sadness that the Shadow Cabinet will suffer and ultimately the image of the Party as a prospective government, with a leader in control, has taken a big big hit today.

Friday, 30 May 2008

Tory Bear is going on holiday... no posts for a week... but come back soon

Thursday, 29 May 2008

"Your town, your street, your home. It's all in our database."

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

This advert is totally and utterly unacceptable. Read between the lines - "if you don't pay your tax we will kick down your door and lock you up."

What the hell is happening to the nation that invented liberty and justice and freedom?

This is a time when our civil liberties are being rapidly eroded, this is the country where citizens can be arrested and detained without trial for longer than in any other European nation. Next it's ID cards, biometric passports and jumbo TVs in town centres.

The similarities to 1984 would be funny if they weren't a clear and present danger.

Welcome to Brown's Brave New World - when the state isn't mollycoddling us and wrapping us in health and safty bubble wrap it tries to scare the shit out of us with the rapid rise in shock tactic tv and press adverts:

First it was boozers

Then it was stoners:

And then one of the most outrageous adverts I have ever seen:

The role of a Government should not extend much past justice. Instead of spending millions of pounds on these ridiculous scare tactic campaigns, why not invest some money reviewing the legal circumstances that result in 9 out of 10 rapists never being convicted?

This unelected executive presides over the plethora of faceless, nameless civil servents keeping the people under control. Millions of pounds every day is wasted attempting to control the minds of an entire nation, which leads you to wonder - what are they so afraid of?

This morally and ideolgically bankcrupt government is rotten to the core.

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

The Greasy Pole

The Guardian
that: "Eyebrows were raised when Straw pulled out of a planned broadcast interview on Friday in the wake of the byelection defeat. It is not clear when he will next appear on the media. "Jack Straw is strangely silent," one senior Labour figure said. But this speculation was dismissed by Straw supporters. "Jack doesn't even own a grey suit," one friend said."

Well that's not quiet true is it...

Correct me if I'm wrong but that suit looks pretty damn grey to me.

I wonder when Jack will put it on next. This is a man of ruthless ambition and the definition of greased up piglet. Beginning life as horrible NUS hack he made it to the top of that ladder (always a sign of dubious character as there is no way you reach that position without back stabbing and trampling- nice guy's finish last at NUS.) He now has the chance to seize upon the ultimate goal, be it only for two years or so.

I imagine the suit is back from the cleaners ready for it's most important outing yet...

Do you hear the people sing...

In 2000 the fuel protestors gave New Labour its first signifiant kick in the balls, in 2008 they have the chance to put it out of its misery. The country must get behind the fuel protesters - however much disruption they cause our daily lives - they should be given our full support.

No panic buying.
No moaning.
Avoid the M4!