Jonah strikes again:

The poor little dude from Diversity falls foul of the curse of Gordon Brown..



Looks extremely painful and made all the worse by the cuddle from Balls Brown and Mandy afterwards.

Poor kid.

H/T -

Comrade Blaney

What's Pickles fishing for?

Intriguing nugget from in Hansard from yesterday:

[291215]

Mr. Pickles: To ask the Minister for the Cabinet Office what payments Ms Polly Toynbee has received from her Department in the last five years; and for what purposes.

Angela E. Smith: There is no record in the Department’s accounting system of any payments made to Ms Toynbee over the last five years.

[291000]

Mr. Pickles: To ask the Minister for Women and Equality what payments (a) the Government Equalities Office and (b) the Equality and Human Rights Commission have made to Ms Polly Toynbee; and for what purposes.

Maria Eagle: The Government Equalities Office and the Equality and Human Rights Commission have made no payments to Polly Toynbee.

Polly on the payroll wouldn't really be a surprise though.

Another day...

...and another

shameful Labour blunder

. The stench of decay surrounding this entire government is becoming unbearable. Not a day passes without a lie exposed, dishonest tactics highlighted, or on this case pure incompetence blown wide open for all to see.

Newspapers should never ever be able to run this sentence:

"The minister in charge of prosecuting criminals has been employing an illegal immigrant."

It gets worse:

"Lady Scotland could theoretically be prosecuted under laws that she is paid to enforce.

Even unknowingly employing an illegal is still an offence, punishable by a £10,000 fine, under legislation that she helped steer through Parliament as a Home Office minister in 2006."

Cue flying Nokia.

He Lied and Lied and Lied

And his party went a long with him...

Given that we now know the truth about the fact Labour had been planning 10% cuts, sorry 9.3% cuts, all along this camapaign, which was crap at the time, looks even more pathetic now:

Let's see how long before it disappears off the Labour website.

UPDATE 2300: Seems Labourlist, to their credit, have been

dissing

this campaign

for months.

Shame their leader has his head in the sand.

Was it Darling?

"We have never seen this level of detail on a budget situation before." -

Channel 4

"Officials are far from happy about the Tories getting hold of confidential documents, and they haven't ruled out calling in the police" -

Guardian

There seems to be an air of astonishment about the Tories game-changing coup in getting hold of the most sensitive of sensitive Treasury documents. Some are arguing that it is proof that Osborne's famed mystical Treasury mole is alive and well. TB spoke to a friend earlier who used to work in the Treasury and he assured him that the ability to copy, not necessarily see, but copy a document like that was limited to a small amount of extremely senior people. Something about this document is different. This is by far the most significant leak yet and way beyond anything the Tories have been able to get their hands on thus far.

Darling really has had the raw end of the deal in the last two years, having had to pick up the pieces of his predecessors criminal economic hokery pokery. He stood his ground after an attempt to move him and is getting bolder and bolder by the day. It was well reported that he was against the lines that Gordon was using about Tory cuts vs Labour investments, no doubt because he had actually read this document. It has been speculated on before that Darling could be the one to eventually bring down the nutter next door...

Could this be the first stirrings of a plot to destabilise the Prime Minister in the run up to Labour Conference?

Prove he is a liar. Tick.

What's next?

Are Muse tories?

TB has been checking out the new Muse album. The band that were a stable part of his teenage years are back with more of what they do best. However the timing and words to their latest single, plus

this article

from

The Alternative Conservative

got TB thinking...



Another promise, another scene, another
A package not to keep us trapped in greed
With all the green belts wrapped around our minds
And endless red tape to keep the truth confined

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

Rise up and take the power back, it's time that
The fat cats had a heart attack, you know that
Their time is coming to an end
We have to unify and watch our flag ascend

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

Very sound.

Liberal Youth Attempt Brewery Event

TB has eyes and ears everywhere and was particularly amused to hear from a certain northern lass about the Northumbria University Freshers Fair. Seems the cosy consensus between Lib Dems and hardcore socialist is dead:

"Just saw chairman of lib youth fall through a table while standing next to a member of the socialist workers. Was he pushed, did he fall? Very funny to watch him thrash about!"

A suitable image for the whole organisation really. Bet that got loads of members signed up. Word reaches Tory Bear that Liberal Youth are "Carbon Offsetting" this year's freshers fairs. FFS. We all know what good that

nonsense

does. What a pathetic stunt.

They just can't stop wasting money.

Good riddance.

Once again Cameron is at his best when he is at

his boldest

.

So long Eddie.

You 'avin a larf?

TB gets many requests for replicas of his fine self to be made available to his avid (!?) fans. Out of sheer curiosity in the run up to conference he decided to check out some merchandise sites on t'web. When he found a specialty bear site he asked for sample of their wares. They sent him this:

They're taking the piss right?

Talking of Lehman connections...

Political Scrapbook

, a lefty gossip mill, is trailing a story this afternoon of some donations from people who used to work at Lehman Brothers to the Conservative Party. All very interesting. However Labour should really check that their own house is in order before turning their attacks on Tory connections to Lehman. It's been awhile since anyone has had a go at Paul Myners, but they started it...

The Financial Services Secretary Lord Myners was the man who signed off Fred Goodwin's pension, much to the disgust of Labour grassroots. He was also

ironically

Chairman of the Low Pay Commission. Ha. If we are going to have a go about political connections to Lehman, let's start here. In June 2007 Myners joined the board of GLG Partners, a hedgefund

fined three times

for insider trading.

And who are GLG Partners exactly? Well lets just say that their four founders

all worked at Lehman

and the failed investment bank used to own a 20% share in the company. One thing having donations from staff of an organisation, quite another having a government official on the teet. Myners relationship with Northern Rock also makes for

an interesting read

.

Nuff said.

Quote of the Day

Well it was

actually from yesterday

but still hilarious none-the less:

Well, I've never been someone who myself has been interested in running up personal debts or borrowing huge amounts of money.

-The Rt Hon right on Gordon Brown MP

Caption Contest:

Gordon seems to have

woken up

to the need for cuts finally. Unlike Mandy it seems he might be actually able to say the word. TB has obtained this exclusive image of him practicising for his big speech to the TUC later today:

Do your worst... prize for a genuine laugh out loud.

Conference Karaoke and Drinks

After the roaring success of TB's conference party last year, this time he thought he would try something a little different:

UPDATE: seems that TB's paypal is cocking up. Working on it. In the mean time ummm get excited.

Get your advanced ticket for just a fiver - which gives you the chance to reserve songs. Special guests including MPs, bloggers, CCHQ staff and MEPs have already been confirmed. Some very unlikely faces too! Don't miss out, space is pretty limited so TB recommends you reserve your ticket now.

For various reasons that will make the evening more relaxed, TB won't be revealing the location of the party until nearer the time. It is however close to the conference venue and will let us stay until the wee hours.

That's Monday, on Wednesday TB will be hosting a drinks reception for bloggers, tweeters and anyone else who fancies it in the VIP room of the

Party for Change

. These warm up drinks will run from 7.30 until 9pm and means you will miss the queues for the main event. If you would like to come along to this then please do drop him an email and he will pop you on the list.

Looking forward to seeing some familiar faces and lots of new ones on both Monday and Wednesday of conference.

Mandelson - Yesterday's Man

He has been brought down by dodgy mortgages, lies and sleaze yet managed to bounce back, but there is finally a weapon to bring Lord Mandelson down for good.

It's called Google.

TB couldn't work out why the hell Mandelson thought he could get away

with his dig at Nick Robinson

this morning. He tried to embarrass the BBC's Political Editor but this backfired spectacularly when within ten minutes Robinson came back on air to quote Hansard at Mandy leaving him utterly humiliated. Mandelson can't have realised Robinson would be able to do this that quickly and get back to him by the end of the interview slot.

This aside, Mandy's performance on Today was vintage. He dominated, didn't answer a single question and even managed to discuss Labour cuts without saying the C word. However he is clearly living in the past. There was a time when Mandelson and Campbell had the press by the balls and were able to spout lies and not strictly accurate one liners, knowing full well that if the hacks wanted to keep their access they wouldn't question it.

All very Tucker.

However those days are gone and it seems Mandelson hasn't yet knelt at the alter of Google. He hasn't yet realised that his bullshit will be called out instantly. People have information at their fingertips and are not afraid to use it. Mandelson isn't stupid. He knows full well that the Labour investment/Tory cuts line was tried and it failed, so his blatant attempt at rewriting history was not from memory lapse.

His game is up.

The Right to Bear Arms

Tom Harris MP

isn't too keen

on the idea of Americanising British politics. His ever vigilant right of centre commenters have jumped on this with an Monday morning

history lesson

. As ever these sort of arguments can be cleared up with a clip from Family Guy:



Nah just kidding, they were way sounder than that.

Back away from TB's paws though.

Three Words Cameron Must Say to the Unions

TB tends to let PT's

cartoons

speak for themselves, but this one hit a nerve. It has become clear that the TUC

have met

with Cameron twice in as many months. At their conference this weekend they have been spreading lies and fear in order to try get Brown to dance to their tune. Not only have these anti-democratic bully boys issued veiled threats to Labour about cutting funding, they have also, rather desperately,

threatened

a future Conservative government with the prospect of riots and organised civil disobedience. They can destroy Labour at the purse strings but they have nothing on the blues.

Britain has moved on from the days when it was strangled by the tyranny of the minority. The unions no longer have power over the government. If they want to resort to violence, let them. Retribution must be swift and quick. Zero tolerance.

The Conservatives have fought and won against the unions before over government spending and we will win again. They cannot be allowed to once again gain credibility and power over government decisions on the back of threats. Cameron must have three simple words for them...

Bring it on.

National Cupcake Week

"Cupcakes are a decadent, affordable, small piece of luxury, offering instant gratification in these dark and depressing times."

According to

The Independent

, the cup-cake industy is now worth £7.3 million. They are very much in vogue. Mummy Bear has been saying it was going to happen for years:

There was only one way to celebrate the first day of National Cupcake Week tomorrow.

"Hell hath no fury like a taxpayer ignored"

When

"two million"

people march on Washington, you would expect there to be some decent coverage around the world about it. While that estimation might be a little high, this was a real protest, borne out of anger and frustration not some nonsense lefty coalition of union idiots provided with placards masquerading as individuals:

"The demonstrators numbered well into the tens of thousands, though the police declined to provide an estimate of the size of the crowd. Many of the participants came on their own and weren't part of an organization or group. The magnitude of the rally took the authorities by surprise, with throngs of people streaming from the White House to Capitol Hill for more than three hours."

Predictably there is practically nothing from the British press about this, who despite being humiliated and mocked by Obama, remain mute as his administration's authority collapses before their eyes.



As you can see from this video the President's opponents and

some of the speakers

at the Washington protest have articulated and honed their message in the last few months. The chaos that the Republicans are in has given rise and prominence to the grassroots of the conservative movement instead. Their lines are most definitely applicable over here as well:

"You will not spend the money of our children and our grandchildren to feed an overstuffed government," Rep. Tom Price (R-Ga.) said of the Obama administration, drawing raucous applause. "Our history is decorated by those who endured the burden of defending freedom," Price said. "Now a new generation of patriots has emerged. You are those patriots."

The TUC are threatening

that there will be riots in the streets if government spending is cut here. TB isn't so sure.

At this rate it will be the other way round.

It was the Bear wot won it.

He's never one to blow his own trumpet too often, but TB did have to chuckle at this email he got from a Liberal Youth mole:

"This is a victory for people power - and TB's blog. By showing how messy these things can be in public, we've forced Elaine to give the members their forum back."

That's right, Liberal Youth Chairman Elaine Bagshaw is on the back foot and in full retreat. She has restored the Liberal Youth forums after her once loyal membership decided to show her just how unpleasant it could be to air their laundry in public. The number of people still giving their full backing is now minuscule. Even ultra-loyal Edwin Loo - London LY hack and devoted Bagshaw follower during her re-election has

broken cover

:

"Just to add to the controversy (I do love a good bitch-up)..If Elaine stands again I might just have to try and get her sectioned to save the party from another year of underwhelming crap. Same goes for Sara Scarlett although I'm quite sure she's having too much fun destroying everything from PPC's to Party Policies in her blue frock to take heed....

This pathetic navel-gazing is going to be the downfall of Liberal Youth. Most of the main party (Councillors, some legislators who will remain unnamed) agree off the record that this 'youth movement' has managed to degenerate into a useless, bureaucratic quagmire."

Ouch, well the forums are back so TB is expecting most of the dead-duck party bitching to return back there, but fear not yellow chums...

He'll be watching.

Quote of the Day:

So many gems from

Fraser Nelson's column

in the News of the World this week, but these ones really stuck out:

"It seems crazy apologising for the way gay computer pioneer Alan Turing was treated in 1954 — when Gordo was three years old. Our PM was 49 when he sold the nation’s gold reserves for $275 an ounce. It passed $1,000 last week. Where’s our apology for that?"

"Voting Tory, he will say, will “risk the recovery”. Britain is crawling out of recession, but it might not do if the Tories make lots of cuts. Brown will say that his “stimulus” (ie borrowing binge) will save us. And that if the Tories get in, then the rollercoaster lurches down again. Economists have a word for this theory — junk. Completely made up. There is not a shred of economic analysis behind it."

"It’s an act of vandalism — on the prospects for future generations. All because a PM could not bring himself to cut spending now. This is the real insanity. Throwing mobile phones around the room is the least of it."

Read the whole thing

here

. Talking of Turing, Brown has answered the fourth most popular petition on the No10 web...

Time to address the first?