Good Morning, it's polling day...

Aaah haa. TB is very sorry he didn't make it up to Norwich for the by-election campaign but by all accounts it has been a solid effort. Best of luck to Chloe Smith who looks set to be returned as the new member. Looking

at this

reminded TB of about this time last year when he and a few others were in Henley for that campaign, and polling day was particularly fun:

If anyone comes up with something better this morning in Norwich then send in the pics...

What's on your mind?

TB is enjoying his holiday. Lots of grilling and sipping ice cold brewskis in the New Jersey sunshine. His mobile isn't working and he is rarely at a computer. That's where you lot come in...

Anyone fancy writing a guest post should get in touch. Five to six hundred words max and the funnier the better. Conspiracy theorist nutters please don't waste your time even sending stuff.

Go on... help TB... send him something good and it will appear up here.

"I'll have what she's having..."

TB is having a wicked time in New York, but today's lunch deserves a post of it's own. You haven't lived until you've had a sandwich from

Katz's Deli

in the Lower East Side. Home of that scene from When Harry Met Sally, Katz's Reuban sandwich was quite simply the greatest thing TB has ever eaten. He was lost for words for a good hour.

Enough said.

Coulson bitchslaps Watson

TB hasn't had the chance to watch the whole of Coulson's breeze through the select committee, but this cutting put down of the retired attack dog Tom Watson is fantastic:



Ouch.

Bear in the USA

TB has only just found time to catch up on a computer. His mobile isn't working here, and that if anything is adding to the fun. Within hours of touching down TB was sipping beers in a hot tub.. it's a tough life. So what is he missing?

It seems McBride has reared his ugly head once again. His nauseating return was a poor attempt to begin the redemption process that, if anything, only served to remind people what a spinner he really was. His interview with the Guardian was appropriately conducted in a pub...

Clearly where Damian has spent the last three months hiding if the photo is anything to go by.

Dave and Tony

Peter Oborne's column

today is a must read:

"Indeed, although from a rival party, Tony Blair actually supports many things that Conservatives cherish deeply - above all the alliance with America, the financial independence of the City and the importance of free markets in world trade."

Only one man can stop President Blair - but is Dave really so adverse to the idea?

Start spreading the news...

...TB's leaving today. Like the Republican preppy look?

It's going to be a slow weekend here as TB is now very much on his way to New York. He will be catching up with an old buddy, doing a wee bit of fundraising and also working on something rather exciting. He should still have time to get the odd thing up here though. Will then be training it down to Washington to meet up with the

YBF posse

at the

Leadership Institute

for some good right wing and media indoctrination before heading to the

Young America's Foundation

conference.

So time to crank up the English accent and attempt to recreate that wonderful scene from Love Actually.

Ed: PS - TB (pictured) has been on quite an adventure recently. After he was shamelessly kidnapped from a CF event by a young lady and ultimately only rescued by the coordinated hostage rescue efforts of Mark Clarke and Matt Richardson, the bear has been all over London it seems. Thank you to everyone who has contributed in some way to his wardrobe in the last few weeks - be it the Henley boater, the bikers leathers, or even the cool new trainers. Much appreciated and there is a fashion show to follow...

Wine + Email = Banter

After Guido's gentle piss take of Ed Vaizey

yesterday

, it seems that he has responded, sort of:

Something tells TB that a certain amount of booze was consumed before that first email was sent.

You can follow

TB's favourite feminist

, who was apparently a member of the party once upon a time, on Twitter

here

.

Quote of the Day

"Jogging is for people who are not intelligent enough to watch breakfast television".

-Ken Clarke

Via

Paul Waugh

#plot

Well it was pretty much inevitable that TB was going to spend his last day at work for six weeks feeling a little under the weather. Last night's drinks were a roaring success and was great to put names to new faces and sink pints with old ones. Thinking the karaoke might have to become a monthly thing...

Another morning sipping the diet coke eh.

Drinkies...

The joke about Conservative Friends of Ireland seemed to go over quite a few heads but either way TB is sure much Guinness will be consumed.

If you want to join the big right-wing conspiracy drinks then ping over an email for the location and we will be there from six. TB will be the the handsome dark haired one with the harem of blondes on his arm.

TB has been made responsible for setting up the hash tag for the evening on Twitter -

#plot

Guest Post - Christian May

Having mentioned Laurie Penny earlier today, it seems she annoys someone else too:

LabourList

came about as part of an attempt to counter the growing success and influence of

ConservativeHome

. However, whereas the latter hosts serious policy discussions and conducts interesting research, the former has simply become a forum for disgruntled left-wingers to rant and moan. One article in particular sums up this approach.

Laurie Penny

, a 22 year old "blogger and activist" has written an extraordinary piece on the recent "

Every Family Matters

" report from the superb

Centre for Social Justice

. By way of introducing Penny, let's look at her

LabourList biography

: "Likes include: boots, books, fags, tea, socialist feminism. Dislikes include: bigotry, green peppers, people who think short people are funny." I don't know Penny's height, but I do get a chuckle out of seeing Hazel Blears behind a podium.

Her article has the catchy headline: Undermining reproductive freedoms, sellotaping together unhappy couples and bribery - the Tory agenda for Happy Families, and it pretty much sets the tone for the rest of her rant. It’s littered with clever little phrases like “Torygeddon” and “evilly recalcitrant plans.” Honestly, you’d think we Conservatives were planning to slaughter the first born. (Mind you, this is the level of rhetoric and debate that we’ve come to expect from a dying Labour movement).

Let’s deal with some of the specifics in her “article” for a moment. Apparently, Conservatives want to see ‘men in the office, women in the kitchen.’ Not sure where she got this one from, but it just shows her out of date and out of touch she is. Moving on, we learn that “Cameron and his cronies simply do not LIKE women who live independent lives, or single parents, or gay people, or people with alternative notions of what a free and happy family constitutes." Is she referring to the same ‘cronies’ that support same sex marriage, favour equality and have today announced plans to make it easier for people to care for disabled relatives? It would appear so.

There’s absolutely no depth or focus to her rant. It’s just a collection of student union style debating points. Here’s my absolute favourite: Referring to the planned tax break for married couples, she says “that kind of logic is cargo-cultism, and it’s lazy, and it’s stupid, and it won’t work because it’s stupid.” In other words, “Toreez smell and I don’t like them because they’re smelly and they smell.” I think Penny should grow up. Her views are out of date, unhelpful and riddled with inverted snobbery.

The Centre for Social Justice has come up with more proposals for helping the worse off than a decade of Labour government has managed. The left simply don’t like the fact that the problems that they’ve claimed as “their own” (unemployment, deprivation, youth crime etc) are in fact best tackled with conservative policies, as opposed to quangos, targets, officers and committees.

Penny concludes that she doesn’t want live in a country run by Conservatives. Who is going to miss her?

Ed: On your bike love.

Go on...

TB would be very grateful if you could please vote for him

here

.

Nothing like a Dale list to make it all worth while.

Shame...

Seems chippy little Tom Miller is now stopping people reading his insane ravings on his "

Newer Labour

" blog. Presumably his border-line communist outlook and unwavering support for Chavez doesn't quite fit the

Game Changer

image where he is now a "consultant".

Quite what he consults on is a mystery, but it seems TB is going to have to find some new lefty bloggers to wind up. The irratating and batshit crazy

Laurie Penny

and tory-boy-thumper

Grace Fletcher-Hackwood

immediatly come to mind.

Let the games begin...

On the street where you (don't) live...

Net curtains twitched in Peckham last week when a camera crew turned up, yet again, outside Jacqui Smith’s sister Sara’s house. Jacqui’s “landlord” popped her head out of the window to establish the identity of the mysterious film-makers but didn’t have to wait too long to find out who they were. Sara hadn’t realised she was talking to her sister’s sworn enemy, Chris Galley, who is mounting a private prosecution against the former Home Secretary over her misuses of expenses.

Even with the sister’s tantrum edited out, the online video has managed to pull in over £8,000 worth of donations to Galley’s legal fees in just 24 hours.

Originally printed in the

Evening Standard

.

Awkward Kodak Moment of the Year

Ed Balls is clearly on a bit of a charm offensive with the lobby pack.

He posted

this picture tonight from his summer drinks reception at the Department for Kids and Families and Children and the most definitely not the Treasury (DCSF).

TB isn't sure who looks the most uncomfortable. Lansdale might just have it. Blinky is a tool of the highest order and this lot know it.

No sign of Fraser Nelson at the party!

Bring Jacqui to Justice

The

Sunlight Centre

desperately needs your help to raise the funds for their court action against Jacqui Smith. As revealed in this morning's

Daily Mail

they are privately prosecuting her for fraud.

Former Home Office mole Chris Galley is

leading the charge

. Having spent months working just metres from Jacqui Smith and having access to her diaries, he isn't convinced by her protestations that she spent more time in her sisters spare room than in her family home in Redditch.

Please donate to the Sunlight COPs

here

.

(Before the lefty tin foil hatters get stuck in, TB will declare at this point, as has been said many times, that he works for the

Sunlight Centre

, which is a non-partisan, not for profit organisation.)

Well at least someone is...

Rather embarrassing really.

H/T -

WCT

It's just a big right-wing conspiracy...

This Thursday, 6pm, will see the inaugural AGM of the CFI - The Conservative Friends of Ireland at a yet undisclosed location in Westminster. If you feel that you qualify to join such an esteemed society then do drop TB an email for an invite.

Joking apart TB is off to the states and France for six weeks so will be good to get some drinks in before he heads off. Would particularly like to put some faces to a few names - get in touch if you fancy joining us.

Dizzy, Guido, The Devil.. Could get turn into a heavy night.

Sam Tarry's Lies:

Seems nobody bothered to send the chairman of Young Labour the memo that pulled the plug on Labour's deceitful and malicious lies that only the Tories would be the ones cutting after the 2010 election.

Here is what was just mailed out to the members:

Subject: Campaign Weekend in Norwich North

Hi its Sam Tarry here, National Chair of Young Labour,

I'm asking you to come and get stuck into the Tory's [sic.] this weekend with Young Labour - We're fighting a close by-election this week and the dividing lines have been drawn. These are tough times indeed - but Conservative planned cuts will ravage our public services and decimate our communities - we know that only Labour will keep investing to help ordinary working people. So come and help deliver that message on the doorsteps on Norwich this weekend.

With bullshit like that Gordon would be proud but maybe Sam should look at little closer at the briefing notes from Victoria Street. Even

Wes Streeting

the NUS President, and fellow receiver of said briefings, has managed keep up to date and on message recently.

Labour are clearly getting desperate in this by-election to the extent that Tarry throws the kitchen sink at the tories by linking to the now infamous Don't Panic video and then has to resort to begging his rapidly declining membership to come along.

Not exactly the most positive of campaigns being run by Young Labour. What a surprise.