Thursday, 31 December 2009

Quote of the Year

First published 9th October 2009:

"I did not have sex with Derek Draper."

-James Macintyre, New Statesman Political Correspondent

Happy New Year folks. TB understands
Political Scrapbook
has a pretty good quote of the year too.

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Archive - Dizzee Rascal for PM

First published 9th November 2008:

If you thought the weekend was nearly over then think again - turn the volume up and get the music pumping...

Incase you missed his stunning Newsnight debute, check out Tory Bear's mash up of Dizzee Rascal explaining why Obama won because of hip-hop and why he might very well run for office..

Remember where you saw the Dizzee4PM campaign first kids!

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Archive - Unto the world a child is born...

First published 6th November 2008:
Nice to see Guardian writer Jemima Kiss isn't too excited about the Obama victory on Twitter...

Archive - Ed Miliband Owned by Paxman

First published 29th September 2009:

The wunderkid Ed Miliband just got a vintage Paxman creaming
on Newsnight
. Imagine Blinky Balls crossed with the guy out of the South Park film. He kept saying "If you'd just let me finish, if you'd just let me finish.. errr let's not turn this into one of those interviews, can I finish?"

Eventually Paxman lost it and in exasperation said "yes yes I'm trying to let you finish, I want you to finish."

Popcorn worthy.

UPDATE 00.01: As
Alex Massie
pointed out to TB, the similarities to this are uncanny:

"This is like watching Bambi's mother be punched by John Leslie..."

Monday, 28 December 2009

Archive - Now Then Us Them

Archive - Exclusive "This isn't about George, or you, it's about the Labour Party"

TB had great fun covering the Rector election in his last term at Edinburgh. If anything just to be able to stick it to Labour and Lord George Foulkes on his patch every day. This one story gives the best background and most damaging intervention by the Scottish Labour party into what was essentially a student race. First published 30th January 2009:

Tory Bear has said it before and will say it again - the Labour Party from the very top, to the grassroots is in a pretty desperate state of affairs. Now you may have noticed that TB has been focusing somewhat on the Rectorial election at Edinburgh in the last few weeks and though some have suggested this isn't exactly high profile news, one campaign in particular has flagged up some fascinating insight into the inner workings of the Scottish Labour Party. Party elder Lord Foulkes has had a colourful career and is now looking to settle into a cosy retirement as a member of the Edinburgh establishment. However things aren't going exactly to plan.

Despite being the first candidate to declare, his campaign has got off to a rocky start and has only began clawing back, in terms of impact, in the last couple of days. The campaign team is dominated by members, past and present, of Labour Students but it seems that not all of them have been fully on board from the beginning. TB's sources tell him that it has taken some serious heavy handed techniques from the highest echelons of the party to whip Foulkes's team into shape. It has come to Tory Bear's attention from sources close to the top of the Foulkes campaign that a particular member of the Labour Students was taken aside in the Scottish Parliament and threatened not only by Foulkes but by Iain Gray, the chaotic leader of the Labour Party in Scotland.

TB understands that the individual in question, though a very active member of Labour Students was not happy to support Foulkes as he did not agree with his voting record or outlook on key issues. However Mr Gray can be quiet persuasive it seems: "It'd be a shame if you're career ended here" he apparently said, adding "George is very important in Scotland, and he has a long memory..." The individual in question, for the sake of their career, has now bitten the bullet and is signed up to the campaign under sufferance. No doubt "This isn't about George, or you, it's about the Labour Party" can be a forceful message when whispered in your ear by the Leader of the Party.

As one would expect Gray's not so charming gate keeper denied the story as "nonsense" but there was a slightly more chaotic and nervous reaction from Foulkes's office when TB put this story to them earlier today. (This is what happens when you employ students to run your office, as is seemingly the case with Foulkes's continued employment of Matt McPherson, his campaign manager. If that isn't the case then TB wonders what Mr McPherson is doing answering the phones in an MSPs office.) However both Gray's office and Foulke's henchmen refused go as far as to call TB's source a liar. McPherson stated "I can categorically assure you that no one from within George's Rectorial campaign team has ever issued a threat to anyone." but gave no comment on whether anyone above the level of student team, someone such as Mr Gray had been involved...

Foulkes expected to walk this election for Rector and now that things are not going his way he is calling in favours from his high powered colleagues. The quotes may be dismissed because they are anonymous but Tory Bear is protecting someone who, having been threatened before, isn't too keen on rocking the boat too much. TB is however willing to vouch for the authenticity of the source and has spent the last 24 hours checking out the story. For the leader of the Scottish Labour Party to be putting a bit of stick about, to be bullying members half his age and twice his integrity shows once again just how stale and tired and nasty the Labour Party has become.

Sunday, 27 December 2009

Archive - Anagram of the week

First published 31st March 2009:

Just spotted this
little gem
from Mr Hannan:


Archive - WE♥BAGHDAD

This one from waaay back got TB in so much trouble at the time. First published 28th July 2008:

Word reaches Tory Bear of a very exciting new Conservative Future Social Action project!

Social Action Officer Arabella Bonaparte got in touch to say...

"Just wanted to tell you about a social action project we are currently involved with - WE LOVE BAGHDAD”. The party are helping local residents in their community make a difference by listening, seeing and learning. In the past, social action projects have taken the form of a 4 day volunteer scheme during conference dates. But not this year. This year, we are approaching the project from a whole new angle. It has to be about teamwork, cooperation and most importantly the community.

The task is simple: to transform the city using a bottom up approach through working with the local community, local charities and local entrepreneurs. Baghdad h

as been devastated by the war but everything is going to be ok now that CF are pretending to care. We will be painting fences and planting flowers etc! It’s social changes as well and will go under the skin to find the roots of the problems and potentially find solutions. It's for projects like this that I think I first got involved with Social Action for. There's a great something that can be said about going in to communities and working with them. It's more than just words on leaflets. It's something more - you meet people, you make a difference and you go away feeling you have made life better even just for one person. And this is where you guys come in… we need to build up city destroyed by devastating conflict.

And so I am asking you…

Are you free in August?
Do you want to be a part of this first stage in WE LOVE
Can you travel to
Are you fully trained in urban combat?
Do you want to do your bit for Social Action?

If yes, come be a part of the already existing team working hard to bring positive changes in Iraq. It will be hard work, you will potentially get covered in dirt , you might even die, but it will be fun, you will meet lovely people and we will put on some lunches as a thank you for your trouble.”

TB understands that all those who travel to Baghdad will receive champagne at Conference.

Saturday, 26 December 2009

Archive - Sadiq Khan - Epic Fail

First published Wednesday 27th May 2009:

Looks like the Communities Minister should pay more attention when staging photo ops.

Friday, 25 December 2009

Merry Christmas

Thursday, 24 December 2009

Archive - LabourLost - The Derek Draper Story

First published 11th April 2009:

A weekend is a long time in politics:

Archive - Woops.

The mystery never was solved as the account disappeared but TB did enjoy this one first published 20th May 2009:

Someone should really sit Labour Chief Whip
Nick Brown
down and explain to him just what all this twitter malarkey is all about. It seems Gordon's enforcer might have made a bit of a first-day-on-twitter-error:
So lets just get this straight. The Chief Whip is using to
Twitter to tell
other Labour MPs when the election is going to be.

Well now we know.

Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Archive - Don't Call Ed Miliband a Chav

First published 25th September 2009:

It is rare that TB gets a reply from the near daily abuse he can't help but send Ministers of this dying government via the uber-access tool Twitter. Hence the chuckle he afforded himself when he clearly
hit a nerve
with Miliband the Younger:

He's definitely not a chav alright? Got that? Good.

You can follow TB on Twitter

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Exclusive - Labour PPC Abandons Front for Online War

Yes TB knows he is meant to be packing but a nice little scoop to leave on. This has come from a couple of places but people are being very cagey...

They are promising a "shock and awe" rejigging of their online activities in the new year, and tonight TB understands that the not entirely unattractive
Claire Hazelgrove
, 21, the PPC for Skipton and Ripon has been drafted in to jointly organise social media campaigning for the Labour Party. The prolific twitterer is so down with the kids that she even has a
Myspace page
Other reasons for her employment seem to be she is on twitter and she votes Labour and she isn't as batshit crazy as Kerry.

TB understands that a handful of jobs have been offered and that the new Victoria St employees will be reporting directly to Sue Macmillan, Labour's... wait for it... "New Media Campaigns Taskforce Leader" and supporter of such brilliant campaigns like "
David Camera-on
" a Draper fake twitter account that was err mysteriously silenced, and redesigned. TB is still working on finding out who the other new recruits are.

Three things immediately come to mind about Hazelgrove's appointment. Firstly TB hopes that she has a better grasp of electoral law than she
once had
. She has been in
hot water
for attempting to send money raised in the UK to aid Barack Obama's election campaign, contravening election rules on both sides of the pond. Her flippant attitude at the time did her no favours. TB heard that Claire's involvement with the Obama campaign was a big plus for her getting the job. Though as far as he can tell she had little experience of running anything online and instead spent her time answering phones and
in Virgina.

Secondly TB hopes Claire has sorted out her contact book. She was responsible for quite the blunder the other day that sent the labour net-roots into fits of ecstasy when she announced proudly that her sources at ComRes suggested a narrowing of the poll lead to just three points. The poll was announced later that night with a tory lead of 17%. Wounder.

Thirdly what do the voters of Skipton and Ripon feel about their PPC abandoning her campaign to join the party machine? Hazelgrove has been a part time PPC already after leaving university to move to London and her twitter page rarely mentions any reports from the front line.

An early Christmas present for
Julian Smith

Claire Hazelgrove was unavailable for comment.

So Long, Farewell

TB is off the Caribbean until New Year's Eve. He won't be replying to emails, or twitter or unless Brown resigns, his phone. Ever the caring compassionate type he won't be abandoning you completely though. Instead for the next week a dozen or so of the bear's favourite posts, some serious, some very silly, from the last twenty months will be auto-posted.


Nick Brown Abuses Taxpayer

Congratulations to Labour's Chief Whip and uber-chump Nick Brown for diverting taxpayer funded civil service resources in attempts to see off challengers in his own constituency. Guido

report last week
that the government officially monitored his Wednesday PMQs live chat rooms. The great thing with Labour is they can't even bother to be subtle. Funnily enough the first, and as far as TB can see the only victim of this has been Brown's Lib Dem opponent oop north Greg Stone. Look what they've done here, it's well clever:
Nick Brown's researchers flag up comments. Brown phones leftist hack David Hencke, formerly of the Guardian, now clearly bored at Tribune as he is freelancing and doing Labour's dirty work
in The Telegraph
. A further briefing was given to the
local press
. Subtle Nick, subtle!

It is not known if Labour whip Kerry McCarthy has been involved in these dirty tricks but it gives you a good insight into the office she reports to. Labour grassroots and net loons have the audacity to accuse the Tories of playing dirty by attempting to unofficially fund raise for a candidate. Let's not forget who has been the polluters online this year eh guys? From the grassroots right up to Downing St and the Whips office Labour is tired, cornered and aiming below the belt. Interesting piece on
this afternoon reminding us just what it was Brown promised when he began his ill-fated premiership - "no spin, no briefing, no secrets, and respect for Parliament".


Monday, 21 December 2009

A Televisual Feast!

The role Sky News played in achieving these leadership debates should not be forgotten. Adam Boulton will no doubt be toasting his success having aggressively got the ball rolling with this. As TB is feeling lazy and festive he thought he would rehash a post from back when the leadership debates were first mooted. A look as some classic moments. Will these debates be election game changers? Probably not. Will the blogosphere be the place for the fact checking, rabid rebuttal and quicker than you can say Nick Robinson post match analysis? Probably. Should Nick Clegg be given such undeserved publicity? Absolutely not.

There is lots of tonight about the fact that this is a big risk for Dave. TB disagrees. Cameron has been up and down the country facing the public for months and months at Cameron Direct town hall events. He has taken and tackled pretty much every conceivable question that could be thrown at him, from cuts and spending to aliens and cocaine. Clegg has been on a desperate "me too" tour but frankly no one cares what the Lib Dems think and letting a schoolboy play with the big boys in these debates isn't going to change a thing. In the mean time Brown has been cowering in his bunker, is crap on television and all it will take is few of those paedo grins, a few "Can I I I I I er er er finish Adam" lines and a snap of temper and it's a sealed deal. As long as Cameron remains the cool, calm and articulate debater he is known to be then there is very little to worry about these debates. He is easily the most telegenic, expressive and emotive of the three and that will be conveyed.

TB thinks the expression he is after is "Game On!"

Unless they are careful, the UK debates could turn into nothing more than soundbyte ping-pong. These are moments we want to see:

Who's got some good put downs for Dave to use?

Pandora's Box

Apologies for the radio silence. TB braved Selfridges, a surprisingly civilised affair after a trip to the champagne bar. He is winding down for Christmas and will be lying on a beach in forty eight hours. The blackberry is probably staying at home.TB hears that Labour have wound themselves into a right little panic about

and he understands there will be some personal retaliation on TB. No doubt this will be done while he is away and uncontactable. These are socialists he is up against after all.

In the mean time he was most intrigued to be sent a link to
today. It is clear that TB is leading the Kerry charge (Note Labour bods that the fact "Tory Bear" is in the RSS feed of the site and why not checkout whose credit card was used to buy the domain.) However this one is a little out of TB's geekdom. It's a countdown to what TB estimates is 1st Feb:
This one could go massive...

Sunday, 20 December 2009

#KerryOut Hits £1000

In just three days the #KerryOut campaign, before it has even launched properly has raised over a grand for
Adeela Shafi's Bristol East war chest

The Lib Dems have rather hilariously tried to weasel their way in on the act by suggesting that if you want to beat the Kerry "two beds" McCarthy then the money should be sent their way. Well sorry chaps, you're wrong. Although they did come second in 2005 there have been boundary changes that that have reduced McCarthy's majority and put the Tories in second place. Lib Dems lying here again.

That being said the campaign, which will get going properly with more aggressive tactics has had support from Tories, Lib Dems, UKIP and the Libertarians. Money raised in small donations is the key to success for grassroots campaigns like this that are independent of party strategy or even the candidate. TB hasn't even spoken to Adeela yet but hopes she is already planning ways to put the money to good use in the new year.
Keep it coming
and check back to
in the new year for updates on how you can directly get involved.


The rumour mill is in full swing in today's Screws. Fraser Nelson
that Mandy is desperately scrambling for a way to maintain power when the HMS New Labour finally sinks. Ruling out a defection or a job in Europe, Fraser suggests that Mandy has his eye on Boris's job.

TB doesn't agree with that Boris won't seek a second term. If he really does want to be PM, and TB is sure he does, he has to be seen as a fighter and to turn his back on another four years in power would shatter any reputation he has built for a future leadership bid. The Olympics will also be just after the next London elections so why after four years of preparation would Boris not want to be there to run the games?

So a Mandy vs. Boris fight could be on the cards. There has been much speculation about who Labour will put up to fight Boris, and it wasn't long ago that comment pages were talking about Alan Sugar in very much the same way. Mandy is poison and commands little respect outside of the village, it wouldn't be hard to run a Mandy style hatchet job on him. TB is inclined to say bring it on...