Never Mind the Bullocks - QT & by-election Live Chat

redacted.

Quote of the Day

"Whilst watching Spooks yesterday I reconsidered if I should keep on blogging or give it up, it seems that the Journalist Blogger on the Spooks programme got killed for blogging. I actually thought to myself, is blogging worth it? I am someone who has made friends via the blog but a lot of enemies, my message to those enemies is, don't try anything without considering your chances of getting away with it!"

-Top Lib Dem blogger

Irfan Ahmed

Don't go Irfan, or is that

Liberal Monkey

these days?

If your name is not on the list...

..then you're not coming in.

Nice scoop by PR Week

who are reporting that Francis Maude has spoken to each of the Shadow Ministers asking them to name just one person they would like to take into government as their special advisor. Good to see the cost cutting already starting in halving the number of Spads, but TB imagines there are some worried faces in Millbank.

The list has only been circulated among a handful of senior Tories. According to one insider with knowledge of the plans: 'If you're not on Maude's list, then perhaps it's time to start thinking about your exit strategy.'

Traditionally, cabinet ministers have had two special advisers each, but the Conservatives are planning just one special adviser per cabinet minister, with a separate pool of special advisers based in Downing Street.

Ministerial special advisers would focus on policy, while only those based in Downing Street would be authorised to deal with the media. The Tory plan would reduce the overall number of special advisers in government.

So come on then who has made it onto the list?

Verdict on the Speccie Awards

TB's invite must have got lost on the way, damn postal strike eh? Anyway a word or two on the results of the

Spectator Parliamentarian Awards:

Politician of the Year: Peter Mandelson - fair. He's good. Too good.

Parliamentarian of the Year: Harriet Harman MP - Very very debatable, Fraser has a crack

here

.

Newcomer of the Year: Rt Hon Kenneth Clarke QC MP - Newcomer? But a good choice, he has managed to toe the line re Europe and has seriously beefed up the Tory economic team.

Inquisitor of the Year: Paul Farrelly MP - Something to with a certain Carter-Ruckas perhaps?

Peer of the Year: Baroness Warsi - Good shout.

Speech of the Year: Daniel Hannan MEP - Goes without saying.

Resignation of the Year: Rt Hon James Purnell MP - shame it lead back to square one and that the DWP lost a much needed right-winger. Should be offered to role in an incoming Tory gov.

Minister to Watch: Lord Adonis - Shame he can't be held to account by MPs. TB will enjoy watching him though, in opposition.

Campaigner of the Year: Joanna Lumley and the Gurkhas - Heather Brooke surely?

Readers’ Representative: Douglas Carswell MP - Sound. Michael Martin invited?

Survivor of the Year: Rt Hon Alistair Darling MP - Smirk. It was a true fight that kept him in the Treasury. Eh Balls?

Backbencher of the Year: Andrew Tyrie MP - Would Carswell have got this if the readers hadn't crowned him their king?

Labour Isn't Working

Labour candidate Julie Hilling is obviously working very very hard for the people of Bolton West. She has an entire section of the website

devoted to her hard work

:

Oh dear at this rate she would be as useless as the current incumbent Ruth Kelly.

It's Official - BNP Have Grouping in EP

As far as he can see, TB seems to be the first reporting this, but he can't quite bring himself to drop the E word for this filth:

PRESS CONFERENCE INVITATION

MEP Bruno Gollnisch, vice-President of the Front National (FN) for International affairs
MEP Nick Griffin, Chairman of the British National Party (BNP)
MEP Balczó Zoltán, vice president of JOBBIK Movement for a Better Hungary

invite you to a press conference presenting the Alliance of the European National Movements (AENM) :

Thursday, November 12th, 2009 at 9:30 am
European Parliament in Brussels
Room PHS P0A050

Great, a wedge of taxpayers money coming their way. Thanks Labour.

An Idea For #PMQs

Could be an intersting one today. Especially if Dave goes on Afghanistan again.

To keep you entertained while you wait TB would like to flag up an interesting idea that

Jess the Dog

raises:

Here's an idea for 'Dave' Cameron:

In effect he has six questions to ask at PMQs, a main question and supplementary questions, usually in two sets of three or in a single volley of six.

So, why doesn't Dave run a "Suggest a Question" page or blog online?

The public could suggest questions to ask the Prime Minister, which would be voted on by others. The most popular questions could get asked by Cameron at PMQs. It might not be desirable or practical to devote one set of questions to a suggested topic, but Cameron's questions will normally reflect some matter of public policy concern.

An easy way to connect with the public, an easy way to increase interest in PMQs.

Not a bad plan. As ever TB will be tweeting his way through events.

You can follow him

here

.

UPDATE: Could it be?

There is rumour about, whispers in the air, that

Recess Monkey

is set to return. The website that Tory Bear most certainly did not rip off from a right wing perspective disappeared when its author Alex Hilton went away to be all serious and set up

Game Changer PR

. Alex, the next Labour MP for Kensington and Chelsea, told the TB the site could make a return once this little problem had been sorted out:

It's not the computers TB is worried about. Anyway this a little bear on monkey action could be highly amusing.

Just don't tell the candidate for Tooting that his nemesis is back...

UPDATE post lunch: Yep The Monkey is back in business. Let the games begin...

Labour, a Letter and The Sun

It's not all gossip you know. As promised, TB has started contributing longer, more thoughtful, less gossipy pieces to his

other website

here. The first such article looks at how one letter highlighted rank hypocrisy in Labour, and brings the discussion of Brown's eyesight into the open. Here is a taster:

While The Sun has pushed this story hard and is clearly out to get Brown at all costs, the reaction from the left has been somewhat hysterical.

Firstly, when you have copies of The Sun being torn up at the podium of Labour Party Conference to the hounding cheers of a blood thirsty audience, you have to expect a little retaliation. Secondly, The Sun is a tabloid, why the shock that they are using tabloid tactics? Most of the outrage from Labour is faux and manufactured, the reasons why being examined later.

It is hard not to feel a pang of sympathy concerning legibility as it was somewhat underhand to begin by attacking Brown for his handwriting. However the fervency with which Labour supporters have sustained their attacks, even when discussion has moved on to equipment, proves that the anger that is really out there. Tribal anger that The Sun is now backing the Conservatives. Labour may have laughed it off or played it down at their conference, but there is pain below the surface. It takes real desperation to attack a grieving mother but that has happened. Everyone knows that The Sun will only go for who they think are going to win, and Labour more than anyone know how accurate the paper is at gauging these things. The zeal and persistence of The Sun bashing in the last 24 hours have exposed not only the hypocrisy of Labour, but also the salt that is being poured into their already gaping wounds.

Controversially the hypocrisy of Brown’s defence, the appropriately titled having one’s cake and eating it approach, must be analysed. Any mention of Gordon’s eyesight is met with howls of derision from his supporters. Legitimate questions of whether it is affecting his work as Prime Minster are not allowed to be asked. If this is going to be the case then fine, if they believe that there is no problems there, then fine. Eyesight cannot then be used as excuse for a spectacular media disaster, if it is not allowed to be discussed on a good day. You can’t shut down discussion with outrage only to use the same topic of conversation to quell outrage elsewhere.

Read the rest

HERE

.

The Breathtaking Arrogance of Chuka Umunna

Labour's flamboyant candidate in Streatham spent the last 18 months briefing journalists that he would be "

British Obama

" and "the next but one leader of the Labour Party." It seems someone had a gentle word to tell Chuka Umunna, a man with an incredibly high opinion of himself and for little discernible reason, to pack it in though. Hardly surprising given the chap hasn't even been elected.

His incredible arrogance didn't stop there though. Sometimes it is having a go at identikit polticos (Umunna is a lawyer and PPC. Cough.) Or how about being known to

declare

that “It would be spectacularly awful if I didn’t get elected for Streatham”. Umunna was also controversally involved in the attempts to smear Daniel Hannan as a racist in September. The abortive attack by the likes of the Mirror and New Statesman was slammed, yet it didn't stop our man Chuka wading in:

Seems he should be more careful what he says online to his disciples in the land of the tweeting.

This question

isn't the first, and TB doubts it will be the last that our esteemed saviour makes an arse out of himself:

"At Boris' QTime at Brixton Academy and wondering, again, how this man is our Mayor,though think those booing him shld stop"

Ohh stop booing! How very kind of you oh great one, but err come again? "wondering, again, how this man is our Mayor?" How about because 1,168,738 Londoners voted for him? Such off the cuff, casual disregard for the electorate gives a real glimpse into the mindset of this ruthlessly ambitious and self aggrandising individual. While many may wish to declare Umunna the saviour of the Labour Party, he is exactly the wrong sort of candidate Parliament needs. No wonder some in Streatham

are concerned

, and want a candidate who is;

"comprehensively concentrating on Streatham’s Fundamental Needs – rather than simply using Downtrodden Streathamites as a Formidable Launchpad for Higher Political Office (elsewhere)."

Fair to say Umunna is not your guy for that.

This Could Be Fun

Those naughty boys at over at

Big Brother Watch

are encouraging us all to step it up a gear in venting our concern and anger at the creeping surveillance state. These stickers are available to pop up somewhere where you see yourself being watched. The stickers are free on the condition you send back the piccies...Send some particularly good ones to the Bear too.

What are you waiting for?

Find out how to get your stickers

here

.

Scared and/or Flattered

TB just had one of those moments where he sprayed Diet Coke all over the keyboard laughing. He is not sure whether to be terrified or highly flattered at the

spoof website

some mysterious fan has decided to set up:

That will teach him for not block buying all associated domains. The funny thing also being is that it is better designed than

his own quick attempt

. Might have to poach it, though not sure about the Barack design. TB laughed very hard at the line:

Harry will get back to you with a quote the same day. Usually something along the lines of, "Sound."

Cheeky sods.

Just a Thought

Tip of the hat to TB's favourite

evil clown

for this one.

Is this the end?

TB had a lie in this morning so missed the initial flurry over the fact the Sun obtained a transcript of Gordon's phone call to Jacqui Janes. Despite the underhand tactics, finally this story has moved onto proper attacks. Mrs Janes slammed the Prime Minister for the lack of equipment provided for troops on the front, suggesting her son would still be alive if it were not for the Treasury.

The story has now dominated the news agenda for over 24 hours. Downing St will be desperate to shut this down so expect a big announcement on something or other this afternoon. If this drags on for another news cycle is could be a "complete and utter clusterfuck", to quote Tucker, for Brown. The issue is dominating Brown's press conference and there is an air about the questioning that this could be the end. Eyelids were barely batted when hacks asked why Gordon has ignored a petition calling for his resignation. Brown has been forced to do what he hates doing more than anything - talking personally about himself. You know then that he is desperate. How long can this go on?

So Mr Milband didn't go to Europe, TB thought it could have been the making of him. Let the Labour Party destroy itself for five years and then come back, a mature international statesman and give Cameron a run for his money in 2015. Can we read anything into this?

Iain Dale

says no,

Political Betting

says ummm maybe. Miliband didn't want to be the one to make the first move but the way this week is going, the straw is piling up on the donkey's back.

Could it all come tumbling down?

A Victory for Feminism

A big TB round of applause has to go to Natalie Samuel of Greater Manchester Conservative Future. Word has reached TBHQ that this true feminist showed them all how it's done. One evening at the end of last month Natalie stood for, won and abolished the role of Women's Officer in the branch.

This throw back position born out of eighties political correctness is as insulting as it is useless. May this rallying cry ring out across those leftier CF branches that still have them and across the Student Unions of the country.

Sound stuff from Miss Samuel.

TV's TB... ish

TB had the pleasure of doing another slot on

GuyNewsTV

. He was a little hungover and really really needs to get some sun, but anyway in a matter of weeks he will be lying on the beach drinking rum. Ahhh. Laugh away:



Didn't mean to seem quite so sarcastic. Had a very enjoyable day in fact!

Times Silence Clarkson

Did you read Jeremey Clarkson's column in the Sunday Times? No? Nor did the Bear until they pulled it after some lefties sniffled. Yes it's moderately insulting to a broad range of countries but what were you expecting when you read an article by Clarkson? Come on. If you don't want to be offended, don't read offensive peoples work. It's not rocket science.

Anyway to prove a point TB decided to reproduce the article in full:

Get me a rope before Mandelson wipes us all out

Jeremy Clarkson
Sunday Times

I’ve given the matter a great deal of thought all week, and I’m afraid I’ve decided that it’s no good putting Peter Mandelson in a prison. I’m afraid he will have to be tied to the front of a van and driven round the country until he isn’t alive any more.
He announced last week that middle-class children will simply not be allowed into the country’s top universities even if they have 4,000 A-levels, because all the places will be taken by Albanians and guillemots and whatever other stupid bandwagon the conniving idiot has leapt

I hate Peter Mandelson. I hate his fondness for extremely pale blue jeans and I hate that preposterous moustache he used to sport in the days when he didn’t bother trying to cover up his left-wing fanaticism. I hate the way he quite literally lords it over us even though he’s resigned in disgrace twice, and now holds an important decision-making job for which he was not elected. Mostly, though, I hate him because his one-man war on the bright and the witty and the successful means that half my friends now seem to be taking leave of their senses.

There’s talk of emigration in the air. It’s everywhere I go. Parties. Work. In the supermarket. My daughter is working herself half to death to get good grades at GSCE and can’t see the point because she won’t be going to university, because she doesn’t have a beak or flippers or a qualification in washing windscreens at the lights. She wonders, often, why we don’t live in America.

Then you have the chaps and chapesses who can’t stand the constant raids on their wallets and their privacy. They can’t understand why they are taxed at 50% on their income and then taxed again for driving into the nation’s capital. They can’t understand what happened to the hunt for the weapons of mass destruction. They can’t understand anything. They see the Highway Wombles in those brand new 4x4s that they paid for, and they see the M4 bus lane and they see the speed cameras and the community support officers and they see the Albanians stealing their wheelbarrows and nothing can be done because it’s racist.

And they see Alistair Darling handing over £4,350 of their money to not sort out the banking crisis that he doesn’t understand because he’s a small-town solicitor, and they see the stupid war on drugs and the war on drink and the war on smoking and the war on hunting and the war on fun and the war on scientists and the obsession with the climate and the price of train fares soaring past £1,000 and the Guardian power-brokers getting uppity about one shot baboon and not uppity at all about all the dead soldiers in Afghanistan, and how they got rid of Blair only to find the lying twerp is now going to come back even more powerful than ever, and they think, “I’ve had enough of this. I’m off.”

It’s a lovely idea, to get out of this stupid, Fairtrade, Brown-stained, Mandelson-skewed, equal-opportunities, multicultural, carbon-neutral, trendily left, regionally assembled, big-government, trilingual, mosque-drenched, all-the-pigs-are-equal, property-is-theft hellhole and set up shop somewhere else. But where?

You can’t go to France because you need to complete 17 forms in triplicate every time you want to build a greenhouse, and you can’t go to Switzerland because you will be reported to your neighbours by the police and subsequently shot in the head if you don’t sweep your lawn properly, and you can’t go to Italy because you’ll soon tire of waking up in the morning to find a horse’s head in your bed because you forgot to give a man called Don a bundle of used notes for “organising” a plumber.

You can’t go to Australia because it’s full of things that will eat you, you can’t go to New Zealand because they don’t accept anyone who is more than 40 and you can’t go to Monte Carlo because they don’t accept anyone who has less than 40 mill. And you can’t go to Spain because you’re not called Del and you weren’t involved in the Walthamstow blag. And you can’t go to Germany ... because you just can’t.

The Caribbean sounds tempting, but there is no work, which means that one day, whether you like it or not, you’ll end up like all the other expats, with a nose like a burst beetroot, wondering if it’s okay to have a small sharpener at 10 in the morning. And, as I keep explaining to my daughter, we can’t go to America because if you catch a cold over there, the health system is designed in such a way that you end up without a house. Or dead.

Canada’s full of people pretending to be French, South Africa’s too risky, Russia’s worse and everywhere else is too full of snow, too full of flies or too full of people who want to cut your head off on the internet. So you can dream all you like about upping sticks and moving to a country that doesn’t help itself to half of everything you earn and then spend the money it gets on bus lanes and advertisements about the dangers of salt. But wherever you go you’ll wind up an alcoholic or dead or bored or in a cellar, in an orange jumpsuit, gently wetting yourself on the web. All of these things are worse than being persecuted for eating a sandwich at the wheel.

I see no reason to be miserable. Yes, Britain now is worse than it’s been for decades, but the lunatics who’ve made it so ghastly are on their way out. Soon, they will be back in Hackney with their South African nuclear-free peace polenta. And instead the show will be run by a bloke whose dad has a wallpaper shop and possibly, terrifyingly, a twerp in Belgium whose fruitless game of hunt-the-WMD has netted him £15m on the lecture circuit.

So actually I do see a reason to be miserable. Which is why I think it’s a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit. onto in the meantime.

Why draw attention to it by pulling it?

Are we going with Letter-gate?

Busy day so late to this one. TB hates Gordon as much as the rest of the country but today's attacks have gone a little far. While yes it's no secret that Gordon Brown cannot write very well, it is because he is blind. Yes this raises interesting questions and yes he should be booted out of office for his handling of the war, but this attack is a bit below the belt. Brown's eyesight is of concern to the nation but bloody hell, there are ways of addressing this issue and today's media storm is certainly not one of them.

The spelling on the other hand is totally fair game. Given that GB must be a little prone to this sort of thing, why were none of his babysitters given the letter to proof? It's just sloppy in any business, but particularly slack given the sensitivity of these letters. Downing St is in chaos but TB didn't realise it was this bad.

That is all.

Freedom

Tory Bear was three on the 9th November 1989. He is not sure whether he really remembers it, or has just stared at that poster enough times. Either way that look of jubilation on the German people's faces as they embraced their new found freedom should never be forgotten. Leftist extremists will always try tell you that the Wall went down because the Communist regime collapsed organically. This is a lie. The world changed that day as a direct result of the policies of Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher. Check out this gem from the BBC the next morning:



"You see the joy on peoples faces, and you see what freedom means to them, and it makes you realise that you can't stifle or repress peoples desire for liberty"

Kerry Digs a Hole

If you don't like stories about Twitter then look away now. You have to admit that the social network has made it when it gets dissed by Tucker in a

brilliant episode

of the Thick of It this weekend. It's also remarkable for highlighting the utter stupidity of the Labour Party and it's leaders.

Kerry McCarthy

didn't have a very good day yesterday. The self-styled Twitter Tzar of the Labour Party upgraded from desperate to delusional.

As others have reported

she firstly came out with some ridiculous ideas about how political views defined what music people can and cannot listen to. Apparently you are only allowed to like bands and artists that support your chosen political party. Apparently you cannot like Phil Collins and The Smiths at the same time. Apparently Labour Party members who like James Blunt should be expelled because he supports the Tories. It would be a joke if it wasn't funny and the almost fervent zeal in which she tweeted prolifically cannot be batted away with an "oh I was only joking" this time. Especially as she then just got plain offensive when the chat turned to Stiff Little Fingers. Ironicly she attempted to tell people who is allowed to like punk. It all backfired though.

Shane Greer

, off the telly, grew up in Northern Ireland. Listening to him speak for four seconds would tell anyone that, however far their head was buried in the sand, or the bosom of the Labour Party whips office, or anywhere else for that matter.

Kerry refused

to be lectured by anyone about music and politics, especially not Shane apparently, continuing with the rubbish music and politics line from earlier: "@wallaceme @shanegreer To use that well-worn political phrase, I'm not taking any lessons about Northern Ireland from you two. Or music."

That hit a justified nerve with young Mr Greer who replied, through

multiple tweets

:

"You have got to be joking, surely? For the record, Kerry, I was born and raised in Northern Ireland. I've had friends targeted for being in the RUC, been attacked for being in the wrong area at the wrong time, watched my mother cry as she wondered whether she'd be able to get us home safely when riots broke out, had friends beaten for being the 'wrong' religion, went to NI's first integrated school. How dare you. How absolutely dare you. Something tells me though, that an apology won't be forthcoming. What a disgrace you are."

Kerry went into auto defence mode. Refusing to see she had cause offence, refused to justify her basis of dismissal and refusing to apologise. While there is nothing binding saying someone should apologise when offence is caused, there is something out there called common decency, a willingness to accept that sometimes you get something wrong and a maturity to realise that a sorry can go a long way to resolving things. Even if she didn't know Shane was from Northern Ireland she should have accepted she was wrong with retrospect, rather than just getting aggressive. Instead she just looks like a bit of a tit. Oh well it's just another nutter online right? It's not like she has any real power or influence...

Oh wait... Bugger.