Tory Bear's new office...

Home sweet home...

TB could get used to blogging al desko...

Gordon's alive...

There has been much talk this week of Macavity Brown laying low and hiding because the going is getting tough. This was one of his favourite tricks as Chancellor, but funnily enough people begin to ask questions when the Prime Minister and First Lord of the Treasury, the leader of a nation, the first amongst equals, is not seen in public for days on end. However panic not loyal subjects, the dear leader Kim Yong Broon is in fact alive and well... Well... not that well.

Instead of focusing on the economy, or dragging the reputation of Parliament out of the mud, dear old Gordo decided to meet some young movers and shakers in order to discuss that burning political issue - votes at 16. Via the excellent, yet sorely deluded blog of

NUS President Wes Streeting

, TB was much relived to see that Gordon was alive and kicking:

...and no doubt throwing mobile phones after tonight's polling data.

Apparently he is making an appearance on the Andrew Marr program tomorrow morning, and about bloody time. Given that it is now 2am, TB doubts very much that he will be awake in time, but it should be an interesting show given that recent data suggests that Labour could finish behind

a jumped up pressure group

in the Euro polls, and behind the most

ridiculous group of tits

in the General.

Shall we have a guess? "UKIP is a problem that started in America..."

Don't fight it...

LabourHome

executive editor

Mark Hanson

has an

interesting little piece

on LabourList about the fact that Labour have started inviting bloggers to their lobby and press briefings. Now granted ConservativeHome have had a presence at pretty much every political speech or event TB has been to, this is, however, a bigger step in embracing the fact that new meeja is actually where it's at.

"There have been ripples of curiosity in the blogosphere about the decision by Labour’s press team to include bloggers in the daily briefings being given to journalists in advance of the Euro elections.

Jack Straw did one on crime and constitutional affairs on Wednesday with Ed Balls on Children, Schools and Families the following day.

I went along to the Straw session, held at 39 Victoria Street and this is how it went:
It was billed at 10:45 for 11am start but Straw was late, keeping everyone waiting in the holding room for about twenty minutes!

He then did a 5 minute summary of the choice facing the electorate on law and order. We’d all been handed an A4 document beforehand with Labour’s achievements on crime down one side and the Tories shortcomings on the other and his talk was a summary of that.

Unlike on the West Wing or at the PM’s monthly press conference, it isn’t a free-for-all in terms of asking questions. Basically Labour’s press team have a list of attendees and each one is called out and offered the chance to ask one question plus one follow up. I couldn’t work out what order people journalists were asked.

There were about 20 press from the lobby/home affairs beat, so that meant 40 questions about law and order…..er no, about 6 questions about crime and the rest about MPs expenses."

Without wanting to sound like a complete geek and waffle on about blogging and bloggers own self importance, TB would just like to say that the Tories really need to up their game and get involved in this sort of thing. Without the slow process of cutting down trees, making paper, printing on said paper and then driving these bits of paper around the country, bloggers can get a story out in seconds. Surly this is something that any party media machine needs to realise and whether they like it or not, should attempt to embrace. In other words... any chance of a lobby pass?

Oh go on... TB promises he will be good.

Yo yo, one time...

Now TB would normally suggest that amateur rap and politics is never going to be a good combination, but once you get over initial wtf!?!? and mild cringe, there is something remarkably catchy about this little video from a couple of young conservatives across the pond:



Our very own

Young Conservative

suggests that TB has a go at creating a British version. Tory Bear isn't sure his street credentials are quite high enough to be able to pull this off, however, any CF hacks out there agree that Owen Meredith and Christian May bare a remarkable similarity to these two? TB's card would be behind the bar if they can be persuaded...

TB canvass bags up for grabs for your own video submissions.

A change of heart?

OF all the vicious "cyber nats" out there,

Advanced Media Watch

is the only one that Tory Bear ever really gives more than the occasional glance. These web-based nationalist fighters often get into pretty vile scraps with Labour, ones that make TB look tame. TB is 99.8% sure he knows who runs AMW, although they have been very careful to protect their identity, they have left all sorts of obvious clues all over the blogosphere.

However outing anonymous ranters aside, it does always make TB chuckle when someone leaves himself open to such easy attack. AMW has castigated and shat upon the very concept of the union between England and Scotland for months now and is often blind in his loyalty to the SNP local administration across the border. However, what is the one thing that will bind even the hardest of cyber-nats with his unionist brothers in arms? What one event can bring the people of this grand archipelago together in unison?

Britain's Got Talent of course. How refreshing to see the Union Flag flying proudly on AMW's blog.

How proud TB was to hear AMW hype himself into a frenzy about how fantastic the program was, and although he was rooting for the Scottish acts, Mr AMW is clearly a big fan of the people of this island coming together for competition and entertainment. Perhaps it's time for AMW to open his eyes and look a little further beyond reality television and look around at how Scotland and England united is a something to admire not just on ITV.

No doubt with the passing of BGT the petty racism and romaticised, farcical, deluded nationalist dream will be back with a vengance soon.

Tory Bear has finally ventured from the north and it's already looking set to be a great summer. London, New York, Washington and even a cheeky few weeks in France. The blog has suffered a little this month through exam hell and post exam carnage, but fear not, TB is back and has big plans for the next few months. Anyway, in a tradition that slipped slightly in the last few weeks, here is a peek at some must reads from the Sunday papers:

• "A white man racist nominee would be forced to withdraw, Latina woman racist should also withdraw." The Telegraph reports on the Obama's latest mess.

• Carla Bruni's ex is now an advisor to Sarko according to The Times. Still no sign of that sex tape.

• David Miliband isn't very subtle in raising his flag in the NOTW.

• The Telegraph reports tht Labour have slipped behind the Lib Dems . Could Nick Clegg really be the next Leader of the Opposition?

• And finally... according to The Times... IT'S BALLS.

It's the little changes that will matter...

Hats off to

Craig Elder

and co at the CCHQ online campaigning team. They have just launched a Facebook app where you can give over your FB status to the tories who can use it to push links and remind people to vote in the run up to next week's elections. This is textbook Obama/McCain and it's looking like the Tories will be leading the battle in the first ever web dominated General Election.

Brown gets a frosty reception

Apologies for the lack of blogging today, TB is attempting to pack up four years of accumilated junk into ikea bags and boxes. Not as much fun as it sounds.



Classic stuff from the great

Tory Politico

.

Liberal Hissy Fit.

Oh how the mighty fall. There is no greater pleasure than seeing a Lib Dem show their true colours. Of all the pious and holier-than-thou sandal wearers, no man has the ability to wind people up more than London Liberal Youth's Campaign Coordinator Edwin Loo. This is the man that threatened to to sue London Conservative Future over the apparent theft of a policy idea and is not one to cross, apparently.

Well these Liberals aren't as fluffy and nice as they pretend to be. Much to Tory Bear's amusement Mr Loo went on a furious tirade last night on the

Liberal Youth Forums

allegedly threatening physical violence towards a fellow activist. Did anyone get a screen grab before the post was taken down?

There are conflicting accounts of what actually happened but Mr Loo tonight admitted to losing his temper and threatening to throw a drink at Liberal Youth trouble maker in chief Sara Scarlett. This is what the post mentioned after it was edited, twice.

Typical wishy washy Lib Dem - can't even decide what threat to use.

Send Hannan to Westminster.

Bracknell, Bromsgrove, Congleton, Gosport, Macclesfield, Norfolk South West, Skipton and Ripon, Sleaford and North Hykeham, Totnes, Woking.

All these ultra safe Tory seats are now up for grabs.

Someone call Dan Han.

Totty Watch: Libertits edition.

TB was warned by a concerned friend, apparently in the know, that he is on "thin ice" with his defence of Ralph Buckle. Well hopefully this won't get him into further trouble.

Libertas

, a party with a more coherent and stronger eurosceptic position that the Conservatives, in case you were wondering, have hired Page 3 girl Amy Diamond who apparently is very concerned about the over burdening European super state:

Now there's a way for a minor party to get attention.

Ralph speaks...

University of York
Wednesday, 27th of May 2009

Dear all,

As you may know I was suspended from the Conservative Party for writing a
column in an article which was

published

in Nouse, a student newspaper at the
University. I would like to apologise to the membership of the University of York
Conservatives. The article was published in my role as Chairman rather than from
my own personal perspective. I should have been more aware of that and for that I
am sorry.

First and foremost I will not be joining UKIP. The Conservative Party still has my
full support. While their decision to expel me has been described as harsh I fully
understand it. They have to weigh up the long standing conservative principle of
freedom of speech against the practicalities of running a political party. On this issue I am sure their judgement is more informed than mine.

However I do stand by my article. I would like to use this chance to clarify what I
wrote and perhaps defend myself against some of the criticism I have received.
The conclusions I draw in the article are entirely dependent on the premise I set out
in the first paragraph. I stated my belief that MEPs have very little real power and
their elections do little other than send out a message. If you do not believe or accept this then you should, of course, ignore my conclusions.

What I hope this incident has not done is to discourage anyone from voting. When I
was asked to write the article it was suggested it would be part of an anti-BNP piece.

This is why I set out the options as I did. The best way to prevent the BNP from
gaining a seat is to vote for any other to reduce their percentage. To this end (and
especially as I am no longer bound to a party) I encourage you to vote for any other
party on June 4th. I hope that this will be the Conservatives or UKIP but now, as
then, the decision is up to you.

Ralph Buckle
Former Chairman

Quote of the Day

"Gordon Brown is also backing United and will watch the game on television, his Downing Street spokesman confirmed."

Hat-Tip:

The Right Student

What a surprise.

It's not very hard to spot the vicious political agenda behind Obama's nominee for the Supreme Court vacancy; Judge

Sonia Sotomayor

of the Court of Appeals on New York's second circuit.

"Among the more controversial cases that Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor participated in is Ricci v. DeStefano, involving affirmative action in the New Haven, Conn., fire department. A panel including Sotomayor ruled against a group of white firefighters who passed a promotion exam that was later discarded because no black applicants had passed."

When exactly America going move beyond judging people on their skin colour to the content of their character, as promised?

Can any one out there honestly argue that this "affirmative action" or "positive discrimination" (there's an oxymoron if TB ever saw one,) can in any way promote equality?

Try... TB dares you.

Sadiq Khan - Epic Fail.

Looks like the Communities Minister should pay more attention when staging photo ops.

Liberal Youth hits the fan. Again.

It seems that Elaine Bagshaw, the controversial chairman of Liberal Youth has already got into trouble just a couple of months after the bloody elections. One of the main concerns raised about her re-election in March was that she had the tendency to be a bit of a controlling, manic, irrational, socialist bitch. These arguments were dismissed by the likes of Edwin Loo, one of her biggest cheerleaders.

But it didn't take long for the wheels to fall off the Bagshaw truck now did it...

Couldn't happen to a nicer lady.

The Nouse tightens...

Apologies for the light blogging over the weekend. TB has been enjoying his last few days in Edinburgh and just as he sat down earlier this afternoon to catch up with some stories, his wireless died. Again. Fast forward three hours and it's fixed, don't ask.

A ridiculous story has

broken

this afternoon that has seen Ralph Buckle, Chairman of the

University of York Conservatives

expelled from the Party for suggesting that those who are eurosceptic might want to consider voting for UKIP. All of this was in an article that sought to explain the options available to people and although it concludes that those who are more eurosceptic should vote UKIP, this is no different from what certain more high profile Tories have said in the last few weeks. TB still is technically head of a university branch and has given less than guarded comments to student papers in the past. (One hack in particular had an uncanny way of always catching TB with a text after about three pints.) However TB was never particularly worried though, as lets face it, university branch chairman don't exactly have much sway, influence, or real power other than over their own cohorts. No one is particularly interested in anything they have to say, as countless press releases fired off and ignored show.

However an

article in Nouse

, York's student paper has led to the little guy being well and truly done over by the Party. When Norman Tebbit spoke out along similar lines, he was given a slap on the wrist in the form of a very very public warning from Cameron to shut up. Why was it felt that what Buckle did required a harsher and permanent punishment? Granted he could have been asked to step down from being head honcho at York and given a bollocking in no uncertain terms on the phone, but TB can't help but feel the reaction to the comments is totally over the top. Perhaps Buckle could have been more guarded with his comments but lets not forget that UKIP only exists due to the failure of the Conservative Party to listen to it's members views.

There cannot be one rule for people at the top of the Party and another for those on the lowest of rungs. Buckle will no doubt go straight to UKIP, and who can blame him, the Tories today have given them an open goal.

How many more eurosceptic Tories will follow?

Who is Tory Bear?

Saturday's

Herald

magazine had a big feature on the Scottish Conservative party after last week's conference. A range of candidates and party officials were interviewed, as well as Conservative Future types. It's a broad look at the state of play in the Party now and how they are slowly overcoming their unpopularity in Scotland. It concludes that slowly, very slowly the tide is beginning to turn.

They also had a little chat with Tory Bear...

Sadly the article is not online, and apologies for the quality of the BB camera, but this is what they said about TB:

It would be wrong, though, to paint a picture of Cameron's new model Army as made up of former socialists, working-class scions and union reps. Most are posher than that. Even among the Conservative Future newbies this often turns out to be the case. Someone who knows the scene well is XXXXX XXXX, aka Tory Bear. About a year ago he set up his blog and from the moment he started writing about young people in politics, he says, interest hit the roof. XXXX isn't a Scot. Hailing from Kent, he is a student at Edinburgh University who got involved in the political scene but has no plans for a career in politics. Standing on a balcony overlooking the foyer he glances down. "I've been doing conferences and political events for a couple of years now and I'm amazed how many people under 30 there are here," he says. When he started the blog, he says, it was the "hackery" he was witnessing among the young involved in politics that he wanted "to call out". "It's a lot tamer, though, here in Scotland than it is down in London."

XXXX has noted the scarcity of Scots among the young Tories, even in Scotland: "One of the big taglines of the Conservative Future election was that Scotland needed a Scottish chairman. And it does. "It doesn't really go down very well, all the English involved in Scottish Conservative politics. When I'm canvassing around Edinburgh, it's like, why are you here?"

Seems the TB bags got some good coverage too.

Good Luck Rascal

Tory Rascal

is off to Afghanistan:

While I take the Queen's shilling, my service is of paramount importance to me and I will have to step back from the blog for a time. Not that I'll be abandoning it altogether, but I'm sure I'll have other things on my mind while I'm in the dustbowl; updates will be less frequent, and I won't have access to many of the news sources I usually make use of so they'll be less focussed on current affairs.

Keep an eye on my Twitter feed - I'll be doing my best to keep people up to date with what I'm up to, as well as continuing to offer a Tory Rascal's view of the world. I'll be back in full swing in July.

Come back safe soon buddy.

He actually thinks he has a chance.

John Bercow has nailed his pathetic colours to the mast in a piece in today's Independent. Given that his campaign has been running for the last few years, there is no surprise that he is the first out of the blocks in any serious way. Fingers crossed he will run out of steam over the next month as people get sick of his swarmy smile, lack of ideology and willingness to say "how high?" before anyone even says "jump".

Bercow told the Independent

: "I have decided to stand for election as Speaker and this article seeks to explain my reasons. Elected in 1997, I came into the Commons to represent my Buckingham constituents and to stand up for Conservative principles." What absolute twoddle.

Fingers crossed the Buckingham Association will begin the deselection process after flicking through

today's Telegraph

: "John Bercow, one of the most heavily tipped Conservative candidates for the Speaker’s chair, faces questions over his expenses claims after he “flipped” his second home from his constituency to a £540,000 flat in London and claimed the maximum possible allowances for it."

Parliament needs a squeaky clean, brave reformer, not some two faced, wet, pocket liner.

A small victory...

A reader has pointed out this picture of a unknown Labour hack sporting what seems to be the official Labour LGBT campaign t-shirts. What a surprise that they use even this opportunity to attack the Tories. Common consensus is that it is pretty rubbish.

Last year's Pride Brighton saw one hell of a float from Brighton and Hove Conservatives and it has to be noted that even on the important issue of LGBT t-shirt design, the Tories are kicking Labour around the block. The "I've come out... as a Tory!" slogan went down very well.

Every so often TB gets contacted by various gay Tories who are sick to the back teeth of being told by Labour members that gay people have a moral duty to vote Labour. This sort of homophobic fear mongering by the left has to stop. Yes ok so maybe the Tories were a little closed minded in the past but Labour's patronising call to arms is based on seriously flawed logic, why should gay people vote on only gay issues? This close minded and naive attitude is yet another reason why Labour can no longer depend on voters that they used to, arrogantly, consider "theirs".

And on a lighter note TB would recommend the Labour hacks check out

these

.

Sister Bear's adventures...

Wish the

Standard would send

TB to Cannes:

SB should really get a blog...

What are you doing tonight?

TB's

flatmate

is putting on what is set to be a massive night at

Caberet Voltaire

in Edinburgh tonight. This former haunt of

DK

's is set to be rammed, so if you are Scotland based come along.

TB will be the sober guy.

Question Time Live Ranting

More Labour Lies.

Well that's the last time that TB puts up a story and then goes out for the afternoon. How charming to return home to being called a liar by none other than Kezia Dugdale, personal assistant to the upstanding and honourable Lord George Foulkes.

TB put a story up earlier that he spotted on the "

Tweet4Labour

" Twitter feed this morning. With a simple

"Welcome! The Chief Whip @nickbrownmp

" Tweet4Labour drew TB's attention to the fact that Nick Brown was supposedly on Twitter. He then took a screen grab of Brown's feed and the rest they say his history. 

So Nick Brown's office have denied it's him which is hardly a surprise yet there seems to be a bit of a discrepancy in Miss Dugdale's logic. She

instantly accuses

TB of foul play: "It's clearly a black op by Tory Bear - perhaps even endorsed by Conservative HQ - and it has largely worked."

Kez, TB knows that working for Foulkes can hardly teach positive moral values and a respect for the law, but that is libel plain and simple and it needs to be retracted. You have made a shoddy assumption and you  have absolutely sod all to back up your claims. 

Woops.

Someone should really sit Labour Chief Whip

Nick Brown

down and explain to him just what all this twitter malarkey is all about. It seems Gordon's enforcer might have made a bit of a first-day-on-twitter-error:

So lets just get this straight. The Chief Whip is using to

Twitter to tell

other Labour MPs when the election is going to be.

Well now we know.

Quote of the Day

TB just spotted this little gem in the first edition of the

Standard

:

“No one should pick up a peerage with his P45 — least of all Mr Martin, who has so damaged our democracy.”

-Liberal Democrat peer Lord Oakeshott

T-Shirt of the Week: Carswell edition.

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Yours for a tenner

here

.

Have you seen this man?

MPs beware if this man approaches you in the corridor. He is dangerous, has previous and will say anything he thinks you want to hear. Tom Harris

says

the race is on, so it must be true, and guess which name he is banding around?

John Bercow must be stopped at all costs in his ridiculous attempt at becoming the Speaker. He's been at it for years, buttering up Labour benches with blatant overtures like this:

Even if it means not having a Tory in the chair, this turncoat and spineless slime ball must be stopped.

Quote of the Day

Foulkes has made a complete arse of himself over the last few days. He should go and spend more time with his three salaries.

-

Iain Dale

Shock: Man has balls to resign.

TB has woken up with another cracking hangover and though he has been milling around the flat whimpering and drinking orange juice for a bit, only just managed to handle SkyNews. And what fantastic news there is. Seems Douglas Carswell needs a medal for ousting the Speaker. No doubt Foulkes will be on television in a minute saying this was a big conspiracy of public school, southern chaps who are just in Parliament for japes and banter and don't like Glasgow riff raff like Michael Martin. What utter bollocks. The Speaker went because he was a crooked thief way out of his element and out of control.

So a man who has lost the support of MPs, his own party, his own officials, the press and the people of Great Britain resigns. How novel!

Over to you Gordon.

The final furlong...

Seems that team Dave and CCHQ have gone into the final stage of opposition. From now on the focus of the Conservative message will be to demand an election at every opportunity. Add your support by signing the petition to call for an election

here

.

The problem with the European polls may be the impact that UKIP has, but to be honest they won't be playing much of a threat in a domestic election. TB can't help but feel that the threat that the BNP pose is being hyped up and certain elements of the Labour party are getting a little too hysterical about it. TB has faith in the British public and maybe he is just being naive when he feels that once people actually get into the voting booth there won't be the feared mass exodus to what is essentially just a racist version of the Labour Party. People are fed up with politicians and fed up with Labour, they have brains though. As far as TB can tell people just aren't going to bother to vote rather than go to the fringes.

As for the local council elections... well the problem comes in the fact that the Conservatives won so many bloody seats last time round that the ones that are up for grabs are strongholds for other parties. Fingers crossed though that we can increase our share of the vote and seats but don't be expecting a landslide.

To use a well hated and cliched phrase, at the end of the day there is only one election that matters and that is the one that Gordon Brown needs to accept is inevitable and have the balls to call. He will go down in history as the one of, if not the worst Prime Ministers in history, yet he still has a chance to leave with a little dignity.

No one likes to kick a man when he's down but Gordon would be a fool to think that this country will stand for another year of his amateur and dangerous shenanigans. He takes decisions on a whim that are only for the benefit of himself, not even his party and err country? What country? Brown needs to get in the car and go see the Queen. He might even retain a scrap of dignity if he did.

Something tells TB that this is going to be messier than that though.

Unbelievable.

TB was out and about but just managed to get to a television in time to see the car crash TV that was Michael Martin's statement. Not only was it clear that he wasn't reading his own words but the questions afterwards were brutal. He had no idea how to handle the debate and had to rely on clerks. Surely he would have known what questions would be coming up and would have at least had a decent answer prepared if he thought he was going to go down with a fight.

The ball is very much in Dave's court. An official nod towards Carswell's motion from DC and it's all over for the Speaker.

Crunch time for the Speaker.

What's Michael Martin saying to Gordo?

Douglas Carswell's motion of no confidence has come from nowhere and now looks as if it could spell the end for Michael Martin, a man to bring shame to the esteemed position he holds. Carswell and Dan Hannan have had a profound effect on British politics in the last few months. The have shown not only the

ideas

but have the balls to put their money where their mouths are.

Isn't it time we started listening to them?

More Labour lies.

Fraser Nelson

hits the nail on the head:

"What David Cameron would do is give £200,000 to 3,000 millionaires." That's a lie, rather than an exaggeration. He's referring to inheritance tax, the "millionaires" he refers to would be (how you say?) dead and rather than "give" money, Cameron would propose that the state would not take it from them. The word "lie" is often overused, so let me put it this way: if this claim were made in a document regulated by the London Stock Exchange, then Mr Brown would go to jail. But this, alas, is the type of person we're dealing with: someone who plotted his way to No10 and who tries to stay in power by spreading lies and smears about his opponents. 

Toast.

Getting laid - Fail.

"A man who tried to hire a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son's virginity as a present was spared jail today.

The Polish national drove the boy to a red-light district in Nottingham, suggesting he pick a woman they saw standing at the roadside.

But the 42-year-old father was arrested because the teenager had chosen an undercover police officer, Nottingham Crown Court

heard

."

Fail.

That bloke off the telly...

TB didn't manage to catch any of these appearances but it seems that Michael Rock, the Conservative Future national chairman has been rather high profile these last couple of days...

Shane Greer better watch his back.

Bilderberg Group meet.

Full conference report tomorrow morning but is

this

why George Osborne had to rush off from Perth yesterday afternoon?

Welcome to the Dave show...

TB has had a busy morning, starting with a full Scottish breakfast in bed. Was interviewed by the Sunday Herald about blogging and the meeja and TB's new branded cotton bags for life...

Bus loads of people are arriving for Dave's big speech at three o'clock. The Perth Concert Hall is remarkably similar, a mini version even of the Birmingham Symphony Hall where DC gave him last barnstorming conference closer. There isn't the same tense buzz that there was at Birmingham but there is defiantly an anticipation that finally the Scottish party is a force to contend with.

TB and his partner in crime have managed to crash the press section so enjoying the free wi-fi and finally able to catch up on emails and gossip etc.

Incase you were wondering what the massive jumbo-tron Dave is all about, well it was a video introduction from yesterday. Yes a twenty foot by sixty DC is pretty scary.

Will be live blogging the speech. First up Michael Gove, who is the proud new owner of one of the TB bags.

+++LIVE BLOG+++ 14:00: Ok so got kicked out of the press section, weirdly about five minutes after publishing on here that TB was there. Odd.

+Now surrounded by an entire class of schoolkids who are debating the merits of the SNP and Tories. The soundest ten year old in Perthshire just came out with this classic "We need liberty and lower taxes. The Conservatives will bring all this"

14:22: Gove apologies for expenses and turns it straight around. "DC firm, clear moral leadership this week"

14.27: Weee aaare Unionists... Sparta style.

14.29: "Where there is discourse may we bring harmony." For real.

14.48: Cringe. The conference chairman is doing a whip around. Pretty shameless.

15.15: It's serious and austere Dave today. Low key entrance, and gloves straight off. "Flipping homes? I've flipping banned it" To Salmond: "You may have two salaries but you don't have a leg to stand on"

15.18: Thrift, thrift, thrift.

15.19: No seats for the press mob.

15.21: Conservative government will publish every single piece of government spending online and quango salaries.

15.24: "I am a child of the modern world, I get it!" First time TB has ever heard a politician make that sentence believable.

15.28: DC will go to Holyrood once a year to be quizzed by MSPs. Good idea.

15:31: "I know you have lost faith in these politicians, but don't lose faith in politics."

Hope not despair. Another blinder by Dave.

Right, to the station...

Good morning.

Day two in now less than sunny Perth. Apologies for the lack of posts, TB's internet dongle isn't picking up much signal. Will do a full round up when he gets home tonight and lots to tell.

So which MSP and Spectator journalist got together for a midnight sing along on the guitar in the conference bar?

Scottish Conservative Conference

Tory Bear just finished university. Holy shit.

Well that was fun while it lasted. Having escaped the exam hell, instead of getting drunk like he normally would he got straight on a train up to Perth and is now enjoying stunning views of the Kingdom of Fife and Firth of Forth in all their splendid sunny glory. TB will be covering the conference with any juicy goss, news etc. He's also meant to be going on the radio tonight so will put up a link if that goes ahead.

TB needs to check in to the hotel and will then report back with some news. That's if the pass he applied for on Tuesday night has turned up...

Watch this space.

Someone call the police...

This is

fraud

, plain and simple.

Man-Flu

TB always knew man-flu was a real and very dangerous threat. At any one moment a man can be taken down with it and forced to retire to his bed for at least 36 hours of whimpering. The only known cure for man-flu is hot scotch mixed with Lemsip and a constant supply of Tunes fed to him like grapes at a Roman orgy. And now finally here is the proof of it's existence. Those days when women could say "man-up, it's just a cold" are very much over.

It's science.