We're Closing In #KerryOut

The left seem to have been caught somewhat off guard by #kerryout. They started with scorn but they shut up and have come back in scream mode now they are seeing the money pouring in. In just a matter of hours well over £300 quid has been raised. The fun and games are only just beginning comrades. Keep and eye on

kerryout.net

:

Launching on the 4th Jan.

In the mean time keep

donating

.

#KerryOut

As you may have noticed yesterday, TB put a new widget on the right hand side column of the site. It allows you to donate to Adeela Shafi in Bristol East and track her progress through

MyConservatives

. TB bunged her £20 yesterday and strongly encourages you all to do the same. The campaign is gaining

traction across the blogs

.

Kerry McCarthy,

expenses fiddler

and general embarrassment, not only to the Labour Party but to all MPs, especially those on her own side who cringe at her omnishamble existence, needs to go.

Cue kicking, screaming, toys out of prams and no doubt she will call us all sexists or maybe even racists again. Either way TB will keeping the

#KerryOut

campaign going.

There will be a surprise escalation in the new year - keep an eye out for details of how you can get involved.

Simple Simon's Sister Scandal

Sion Simon who you may remember from making-a-twat-of-yourself-on-teh-interweb fame has admitted he is a troughing thief and is attempting to get away with just paying back the £21k he stole in order to pay his sister in rent out of his ACA.

How he has the barefaced cheek to remain in government beggars belief. What ever happened to a little dignity in power eh? The only reason he is paying the money back is due to the fact The Telegraph were about to

out him tomorrow

.

He should be sacked immediately.

Save Bellamy's Bar

Many a disgruntled bagcarrier has got in touch with TB today to vent their spleen at the prospect of Bellamy's Bar being replaced by the Speaker's nursery. Bet Bercow wouldn't have got rid of a bar when he was still trying to hit on drunk chicks. Researchers take their gin seriously and won't be deprived of a subsidised watering hole without a fight. As the official campaign states:

"The Speaker is planning to replace the newly refurbished Bellamy's Bar with a nursery. Join this group to suggest the Speaker looks elsewhere - his own expansive House has much nicer views and access to a lawn for the kids to play on, for example."

Voice your concern at the pint sized one taking away pints

here

.

Gordon's Out of the Closet

TB had some fun this morning with Gordon's latest special moment:



What a twat.

Cameron Braces Himself

As TB reported the other day, Jo Johnson, younger brother of Boris, has been selected to fight the safe seat of Orpington. Their father Stanley stood unsuccessfully in 2005 and is still seeking a safe seat to contest this time round. What struck TB as mighty odd is the fact that team Cameron directly intervened in the Wycombe selection process a few months back. Stanley Johnson was the front runner to become the PPC, when at the last minute a CCHQ selection list was imposed upon the association. It is commonly accepted that the last thing Cameron wants is a cheer leader for his future leadership rival in the Commons, and the chance for Boris to easily maneuver his way back into the House in either 2012 or 2016 through a safe seat that Stanley was keeping warm.

There is no way that Jo Johnson's candidacy could have gone through Cameron's office without some nod of approval, or at least the chance to scupper it being turned down. Why has Dave personally ended the prospect of Stanley Johnson MP but allowed Jo Johnson to fight a very safe seat? Unless he is more worried about Boris than anyone has yet thought?

Put yourself in Cameron's shoes for a moment, what would you do? Make even more of an enemy of a family, or smile as you damn with your embrace? Boris is clearly popular with the grassroots and has already notched up arguably more executive experience than Dave will have if he walks through the door of Number 10 in a matter of months. He is the natural contender to the crown when things start to run out of steam four or so years into a potential premiership. Where better to have the rival than twiddling his thumbs in local government while actively encouraging a rival to your rival in the House. Bringing Jo Johnson in to the picture is an extremely canny move by Cameron. If he was to be fast-tracked up the ministerial ladder he would split the "Boris" factor that is so clearly part a key plank of Boris's appeal. Allowing the "Boris" factor to become broad church rather than a one man show severely weakens Boris.

Jo Johnson could never challenge Prime Minister Cameron, but he could potentially make it hard for his brother Boris to do so. If come a by-election in 2016 Boris returns triumphant, Cross Rail open, the Olympics a roaring success, London's budget balanced, the city onside he could create quite a storm. Who would be the biggest rival, an outgoing PM or the high flying, equally ambitious sibling?

There is definitely more to the Orpington selection than first meets the eye.

Copenhagen Collapses

Great news out of Scandinavia - further proof that the left can't organise a piss-up in a brewery. The Copenhagen Climate Summit has descended into chaos with toys being thrown out of prams left right and centre and well needed spanners being thrown into the huge overexcited hysterical cogs. The hippies are closing in, putting the entire centre

under lockdown

and TB believes there have been several sightings of man-bear-pig himself. The champagne and canapes have been replaced with rows and dramas. Looks like the world might not send their economies back a hundred years or so after all.

If Gordon even dares try claim he has saved the world again when some cock-a-hoop deal is spun as a historical moment, don't let the left get away with it. This conference has been a farce and the radical union that it's supporters wish for it to achieve has failed spectacularly.

Shame.

The Perfect Gift...

...for that elected representative in your life. Is your uncle a Labour Peer? Want to see some changes to those pesky laws? Then head over to the

Chocolate Library

:

TB definitely didn't get bribed with free chocolate.

Who Could They Mean?

The season finale of the

Thick of It

set things up nicely for some election specials. Particularly amusing was the great modernising reformer vs aggressive "Fucker", to rhyme with Tucker, who made an appearance in the opposition camp in the closing scenes.

Black suit, white shirt? Aggressive tabloid style? Who could they have had in mind??

The Morning After the Night Before

Apologies for the radio silence, TB has been nursing his aching limbs and battered paws this morning after last night's blog wars. What better way to see off the pain than a lunch with right-wing bloggers. A little too easily, they shook of their independence and gathered in the central lobby for a rather tasty session. CCHQ's online team and a few others, plus several of the top right-wing blogger types and twitterati got together for some game pie and as

KRO

put it, game chat.

Jeremy Hunt was keen to chat through the state of the current British blogosphere, what the Tories can learn from the US, and some err interesting ideas about how the righties online will progress after the next election if the Tories are in power. TB wonders whether such an optimistic outlook on how long the bloggers will toe the line is really realistic. On an aside Henry Macrory is seemingly a very modest chap as he failed to mention it was his birthday. Happy belated Birthday.

It was a session well worth having. While Labour bloggers and tweeters take their lines from Victoria Street, and if they are really lucky Downing Street, the organic growth of the right-wing blogosphere has meant it has been a much more disjointed growth. It was very useful to sit down for a rare and constructive chat. The closest the bloggers have come until now was Shane Greer's wedding.

TB is also rather chuffed with the miniature sellotape dispenser he got in his cracker, but that's beside the point.

UPDATE: #BlogWars

TB is very very excited about the prospect of

close encounter urban conflict

against CCHQ, LabourList and other mystery guests tonight.

Shane thinks

there can be some bear baiting but be warned:

He's a pro.

UPDATE: 13.25 Time for some lunchtime target practice. Got to zero those sights:

TB isn't the only one taking aim:

Which mystery CCHQ staffer is semi-pro too?

UPDATE 14.45: Mrs Shane Greer is apparently a force to be reckoned with:

"Don't mess with Texas" indeed.

LabourList

's Alex Smith has previous:

TB is tempted to open up a book on tonight. Any punters?

Revenge is a Dish Served Cold

Another truly special Brown moment:



Remember this one?



Karma eh.

Mandy Investigates

TB has to wonder what the point of some research positions at universities are. Leeds University have really taken the biscuit with this one though. For a cheeky £30k you can spend a year

researching

"The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy.":

"You will work on an ESRC funded study on the rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy. The post will involve qualitative and quantitative data collection and analysis. It is based in Leeds, although some travel to other cities may be necessary."

Are the hookers of Leeds not quite up to scratch then?

A spectacular waste of money made only worse when you realise it is in fact taxpayer funded. The ESRC

get funding

from the Department of Business Innovation and Skills to the tune of two hundred million quid a year.

Which begs the question why is the BIS Secretary Lord Mandelson so interested in researching the "night time economy" to put it gently?

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Dave went to Afghanistan last week so Gordon followed over the weekend. Who do you reckon the more competent wartime leader would be? There is apparently some footage of soldiers refusing to shake Brown's hand while he was out there.

TB will try track it down today.

Berlusconi - The Punch Footage

The moment someone punched Rolling Stone Magazine's Rockstar of the Year has found its way onto youtube:



John Prescott has been asked to hand himself in for questioning.

H/T:

SNP TV

Most Unparliamentary Language

A little late to this one but it is hilarious:



Nick Clegg looked like he was close to going down this route at the last PMQs...

Quote of the Day

Alistair Darling reminds me of one of those kidnapped Colombian judges in sweat-drenched polyester shirts, who are forced to record messages of support for their captors, but try desperately to signal to the camera that they are doing so under duress. With every blink, every hesitant reply, every furrowing of his brow, even his hint in yesterday's Daily Telegraph that the hugely expensive ID card scheme may be scrapped, the wretched Chancellor seems to be saying: I know, I know, I want to bring down the public debt, too. But my captor, Gordo el Furioso – he will not let me!

-Matthew d'Ancona

His whole column is as ever

well worth a read

, not sure about the headline though. As is Patrick Hennessy's scoop

also in the Telegraph

. Labour have some bloody cheek if they want to whack the Tories for putting up VAT - something Darling is calling for - especially given the fact they will be pounding everyone who earns over 20k with yet another rise in National Insurance - a tax on the jobs and incomes of middle Britain, to paraphrase.

Angry Dave is Back

And rightly so:



Come January we need more of this anger and passion - every day.

Cripes!

Britain doesn't do political dynasties like the US does, the drab and painfully dorky Milband brothers are no Bush family. But perhaps there is a decent one in the making finally - congratulations to

Jo Johnson

who, in a marathon slog, has been selected to defend Orpington. TB must admit he wasn't familiar with many of the details, but this Financial Times journo seems to have all the flare and intellectual fire power of his older brother. He imagines those more vile elements of the left-wing media will be digging and trawling for anything that can be chucked at him this weekend.

Hope is beginning to fade for their father Stanley getting a winnable seat - rumour has it that those at the top don't wish to give Boris and easily accessible route back into the Commons at the drop of a hat in eight years, if you believe conspiracy theories.

However a Johnson in the Commons again can never fail to liven things up.

Is Heather Brooke Jessica Rabbit?

Could have fooled TB.

POETS Day Special

Apologies for the less than prolific blogging this week. TB has been rather busy with all sorts. For that Friday feeling he thought he would leave you with this great spot by

Keep Right Online

:

It's as powerful and accurate as when it was first used in 1978.

Sarkastic

TB can't embed the video due to the luddites at the BBC trying to sell embedding rights, however

check out

Brown's presser with Sarkozy this morning. Look at when conversation turned to how Darling didn't fall out with Brown in the run up to the PBR and Brown definitely, DEFINITELY, did not overrule his Chancellor or interfere with the report (stop laughing at the back.) Brown talks about his "deficit reduction plan" - what does Sarko do? Well he cracks up and starts smirking and laughing, catching the eye of the odd journalist.

Thank you Gordon, you are making this country a joke on the international stage. Just yesterday

Der Speigal declared

Britain was an economic "mini-power" and now it seems France agrees. When heads of state can't even keep a straight face when dealing Brown it's time for Labour to take a deep breath and really consider what is best in the interests of this country rather than their dying party.

What an embarrassment. When you have Sarkozy, a man who has to stand on a box to reach a microphone, you know you are in real trouble.

Caesar Brownus

There were smirks and chuckles on the blue pews at last night's Parliamentary Carol Service. Dave was doing a reading and on PBR day, who couldn't but laugh at the gem he was given in Luke 2: 1-7:

"And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed."

UPDATE: March Election? Lotta continua!

Intriguing snippit for those who are looking for tell tale signs of a March election date. Young Labour Chairperson Sam Tarry has written to all the members telling them to keep certain weekends free for campaigning and activism:

Hey Comrades!

With a General Election only a few months away it is more important then ever that Young Labour and Labour Students are organised and working together to fight for Labour victories across the country.

As part of our BIG Campaign please keep the following days free:

1. Saturday 19th December 2009
2. Saturday 16th January 2010
3. Saturday 6th February 2010
4. Saturday 6th March 2010

Please join the BIG Campaign group to keep updated on the marginal seat campaign days where you are - sign up right now:

https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=194186788537&ref=nf&v=info

Each campaign will include a short training session in which activists will have the opportunity to learn about the seat and what to expect on the doorstep, and the basics of Labour campaigning if you’ve never done it before. Furthermore, light refreshments, lunch and an afternoon social of some sort will be arranged for each campaign to show our appreciation for all your help.

https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=194186788537&ref=nf&v=info

I look forward to meeting many of you on the campaign trail - and if you want me to come to visit your Young Labour group, Labour Club, or BIG campaign day then dont hesitate to drop me a line.

Lotta continua!

Sam Tarry
National Chair of Young Labour

Intriguing how they are only up until March.

UPDATE 14.05: Ever sharp

Dizzy

has given the Lotta Continua reference a good nod. Tarry has some

dubious heroes

:

Lotta Continua (the struggle continues, or continuous struggle) was a far left extra-parliamentary organization in Italy. It was founded in autumn 1969 by a split in the student-worker movement of Turin, which had started militant activity at the universities and factories such as Fiat. The first issue of Lotta Continua 's eponymous newspaper was published in November 1969, and publication continued until 1982, while the organization disbanded in 1976.

On March 2, 1972 Maurizio Pedrazzini, an activist of Lotta Continua, was arrested near the home of Franco Servello, a member of the right-wing party MSI, after his gun accidentally discharged and someone called the police.

On May 17, 1972, the Milan police commissioner Luigi Calabresi, was killed. Adriano Sofri and Giorgio Pietrostefani, former leaders of Lotta Continua, were condemned to heavy prison sentences for organizing, and Ovidio Bompressi and Leonardo Marino for carrying out the murder, after legal proceeding which were regarded as controversial.

On October 1, 1977, during a protest march in Turin, activists attacked a bar with Molotov cocktails. Roberto Crescenzio, a 23-year old student, died of burns sustained in this attack. Lotta Continua militants were accused of committing this attack, but were eventually cleared in court.

Nice.

Odious Chump

TB had to chuckle at this copy of the Standard that was spotted by a reader on the tube last night:

Have you seen this man?

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Turncoat scum Quentin Davies is today's biggest laughing stock. Via Paul Waugh we learn that he put in a £20k claim for repairs to his bell tower.

Cambridge Update

Interesting stirrings still coming out of Cambridge, again concerning their upcoming open primary. As TB reported the other day there has been uproar about the short-list and two further developments have left some members of the association baffled. Firstly surely the point of an open primary is to engage with as many people in the constituency as possible. If you really wanted to get the maximum number of people to attend why is it being held early on a Saturday morning? Unless of course you only want those most devoted members to put in an appearance, those loyal to one candidate...

Secondly and less significantly. Why the hell is the old Sir Michael White chairing a Tory meeting?